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Constant sexual harassment

(12 Posts)
Acrosstheuniverse123 Thu 26-Oct-17 16:31:20

My daughter is 23, she recently told me that every day of her life virtually she has comments shouted out at her in the street, catcalls etc. She hates it. Recently, a group of young men in a van were calling out sexual comments at her and she snapped. She marched up to them and tore a strip off them verbally. They apparently looked shamefaced, said nothing and drove off. Part of me was very worried about her safety, part was very proud.
She has never mentioned this to me before , but she says she is sick of being treated like an object by men. My thinking is that if more men stood up and said something when other men make sexist comments or talk about women in a sexual way, men generally would perhaps think twice before engaging in this pack behaviour.
Comments invited please!

bigfatbumfreak Thu 26-Oct-17 16:41:11

I had this growing up and worse. Groping and assault.

All i can say is I’m so glad that the ‘its part of life’ mentality is over.

I have no answers for your DD, other than to call it out if she can, but thats not always advisable.

Crumbs1 Thu 26-Oct-17 16:44:27

Young people should not be subjected to such unpleasantness. My daughters tend to feisty so would stand their ground and if offended and explain in no uncertain terms why it was not acceptable behaviour, unless they felt endangered.

ludog Thu 26-Oct-17 17:07:25

My daughters say the same. Sometimes in night clubs a male friend will pretend to be their boyfriend which makes other men back off. IMO that just reinforces the mentality...the harassment stops when the harassers think they've encroached another man's territory not when they realise their attentions are unwelcome.

Beingrippedoff Thu 26-Oct-17 18:35:49

I'm sure what you describe is part of the reason why so many teen girls are transitioning. What a horrible environment to be in. How did things get to be so bad?
I'd feel the same if my dd was in this situation. She's only 4 so hopefully free of that sort of stuff for a few more years at least 🙁

AngelaTwerkel Thu 26-Oct-17 21:23:02

How awful. angry

NoLoveofMine Thu 26-Oct-17 21:32:24

I'm sure what you describe is part of the reason why so many teen girls are transitioning.

I definitely think it's a factor. Street harassment happens to every girl I know and for most, including myself, it started around 14. Everyone would want to get away from that and I can understand in a way why "identifying" out of that would be appealing. I think some girls who are "identifying as boys" are doing it because of hating being a girl largely due to this kind of thing: harassment, being objectified, seen as existing for male sexual gratification and the worth of girls seemingly our bodies and appeal to boys/men. I'm not saying this is a solution - I think the complete opposite - but feel it's understandable in a way. Many girls and women do things to try to avoid harassment and "transitioning" to becoming a boy would seem to many to be a way to do so.

Well done to your daughter for challenging the men who were harassing her from their van, OP. I hope they might consider how upset they made her and the impact of their harassment. Many men who do it don't care and probably do it partly to intimidate and belittle girls and women but hopefully those ones may think twice after your daughter challenging them, not that she should have had to. Men should definitely be speaking up and challenging other men on this.

geekaMaxima Thu 26-Oct-17 21:38:15

Your daughter sounds awesome. And courageous. I wouldn't have had the nerve at 23 to confront a bunch of men like that, so good for her and I'm glad the men just drove off.

I completely agree that more men need to call out this shit when it happens rather than just condoning it by their silence. angry

DenPerry Fri 27-Oct-17 08:42:56

I had the most attention from lorry/van drivers at 14, disgusting.

Gingernaut Sun 29-Oct-17 08:26:46

Transgender Trend, a group questioning the rush to trans children, reckons it might be a factor for why so many girls want to be male.

MeRichard Sun 29-Oct-17 17:16:04

It was a wake-up call for me when I found my eldest was being whistled at, called to and stared at more or less continuously. Her early maturing into her catwalk-model build ensured this started young. Fortunately it all didn't seem to get to her too much as she would never be able to do what you daughter did OP. As a parent it is frightening.

The experience of my youngest has been a revelation on a different level though. She gets more harassment from men plus loads from women. The men start by being nice but turn nasty when that doesn't get them what they want. A few women follow a similar pattern while many just start nasty. So far, only women have actually been violent toward her.

I concur that people should stand up to it when they see or hear it. I try to. In so many cases it is fleeting and hard to call out but that is no excuse just a practical point.

TammyswansonTwo Tue 31-Oct-17 10:05:27

Isn't it amazing that almost every woman has experienced this from a young age and yet no men would ever do such a thing? Doesn't quite add up does it? Wish these men would realise the links between this behaviour and assault.

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