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The Paula Principle

(11 Posts)
highinthesky Mon 27-Mar-17 12:21:50

Published this month. Has anyone read it yet? Reviews?

(Posting on chat as it gets more traffic than the theory board).

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 27-Mar-17 12:49:40

Nope, but I looked at the website. This stood out

"Third is psychology: women often lack the self-confidence to put themselves forward for a job, even when they are very well qualified for it. Men, by contrast, are readier to apply even when they lack the official requirements"

I have the confidence. I also have the ability. I put myself forward. I'm criticised for being overly assertive, egotistical and forward.

I think more needs to be said re his no 1 - discrimination. A lot of what women face is about 'gendering', our gendering and the ways that workplaces reinforce and reproduce this. This is more complex than straight out discrimination, which implies something more procedural or legal.

KatherinaMinola Mon 27-Mar-17 12:52:32

Not read it but I also looked at the website and thought the "psychology" and "positive choice" factors sounded like bollocks.

My experience has been similar to Yet's, above.

DJBaggySmalls Mon 27-Mar-17 13:03:27

I've had the same experience as YetAnotherSpartacus. I've had people react to my self confidence and be more concerned with putting me in my place than getting the job done.

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 27-Mar-17 13:04:59

I know this sounds weird, but thank fuck I am not the only one! sad Bitter-sweet.

KatherinaMinola Mon 27-Mar-17 13:05:18

Yes, DJ - I think the need to put women in their place is answerable for a lot.

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 27-Mar-17 13:10:35

I think another point against me is that I don't 'do' gender. I don't flirt with men or mother them. I don't fit into their fantasy worlds where women are slotted into particular roles that suit them. I don't play 'female' or 'feminine'. This causes antagonism.

highinthesky Mon 27-Mar-17 13:31:51

Some of us just emit scarey vibes without even realising it!

My life in the workplace improved by bucketloads when I started making more of an effort over my appearance (appreciated by males) but lowering my verbal profile (probably appreciated by everyone!). I was about 30 before I realised that I could achieve much more if I fit the mould.

Once I reached my zenith I reverted to my usual unreserved self. The difference is that I usually keep my most truthful thoughts that myself. And I'm a great deal more empathetic now, having no desire to compete with those inhabiting a different playing field.

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 27-Mar-17 13:46:03

highinthe sky - seriously - I can't be arsed. I yam who I yam. I haven't done shaving or make-up since I was 18 and rarely wear girly clothes. I'm middle-aged and ain't going to change now - and nor should I or any other woman have to. I can't fit the mould even of I wanted to, which I don't, and, frankly, why the fuck should I?

Some of us just emit scarey vibes without even realising it!

They are only scary because those in power deem them to be.

And I'm a great deal more empathetic now, having no desire to compete with those inhabiting a different playing field - sorry - don't understand this.

OlennasWimple Mon 27-Mar-17 13:48:57

When I said that I had a particular target career trajectory, one of my slightly more senior colleagues said I was "so fucking ambitious" - even though what I was describing was exactly what he had done but to a slower timescale...

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 27-Mar-17 13:52:40

I can't count the number of times I've heard "you are so bright / talented / hard-working, etc.", followed by "why don't you try out for this menial / low-paid / subservient to men position". Most recent was when I carried a major project for two senior men and one offered to mentor me in exchange. This was his advice.

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