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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Anybody not challenged something and later wished they had?

3 replies

sniffle12 · 18/03/2017 10:14

Was reminded today of a question I was asked in an interview for my first grad job.

'You seem to have a natural business acumen. What does your dad do?'

Ashamed to say that I was so desperate for a job/generally caught up in the flow of the interview that I actually answered, 'IT consultant', to which they promptly nodded emphatically as if to say 'makes sense'. Only after was I was like wtf?!? Women as an extension of their father - are we in 1954?!

Also ashamed to say that five years later, even after three years in a really balanced, empowering workplace with lots of strong male and female role models, I interviewed for a job in a male-dominated workplace and still allowed them to tell me they were concerned about my ability to 'stand up' to some of the 'strong personalities' they had. Not that I would have wanted to work somewhere where withstanding aggression was an essential skill.

Has anybody had any experience of not challenging a question or remark at the time and later wishing you had?

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CaoNiMartacus · 18/03/2017 15:43

Yes! This happened a few months ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. My cousin's 6-year-old son got a multipack of superhero toys for his birthday. He was playing with them, but separated the female ones out to the side. My cousin laughed and said "He doesn't want to play with those ones because they're girls". I really wish I'd tried to convince the lad that the female superheroes were cool and worth playing with as well. I feel I missed a good opportunity. Angry

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patodp · 18/03/2017 20:39

The other day my DP said something flippant about an absurd divorce pay-out where the woman received millions just after a few years marriage (kids already adults) saying "and women think they're so discriminated against"
I couldn't be arsed to reel out how actually Women are discriminated against and we aren't all imagining it, and divorce payouts don't exactly cancel all this out plus we no nothing of the detail blah blah, his comment has been bugging me ever since.

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ludog · 18/03/2017 21:15

In the early 90s at a work conference where a guy was talking about a new computerized till system that was being brought in and had already been trialled in a chaun of pubs. He finished his presentation by saying "no disrespect to the breed, but if the Irish pub managers can get to grips with this system anyone can" As possibly the only Irish person in the room I was incensed but I didn't have the courage to challenge him and I've always regretted it.

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