NC as this is outing. I'm so upset and need opinions please.
I have 2 DD's, 8 & 5 and have used the same childminder since DD1 was a baby. I am a single parent and work FT.
Over last year or so CM has lost 8 stone or so on VLCD - shakes etc. We discussed food/dieting etc very early on and I thought that we had an agreement that she would not talk about dieting etc in front of my DD's.
Actually we have talked about this before and I've always felt that we had an agreement as she knew why it would be inappropriate to do all the diet talk/good food/bad food talk etc in front of my DD's, or any young children for that matter. My DD's love and adore and admire her - she has been an extremely important relationship for them all their lives.
So last night CM & DD's put on a little party for me. Pizza and lots of sweets and cake. Very thoughtful and sweet of her - awful lot of different sweets/sugary foods, but hey it's a party.
However, the only thing CM talked about as we ate was how "I shouldn't be eating this", "all this BAD food", "I'll deal with it next week", "I'm starting back on shakes" etc on and on and on, while the girls, my 8yo especially soaked it all up, looking at her with adoration.
I was completely utterly shocked.
I am devastated. I'm getting more upset and need to get a grip.
I fear she has been like this with my DDs the entire time (15 months?) and I didn't know.
At the time I just tried (unsuccessfully) to steer the conversation away from these subjects, although I wanted to scream "you are calling the food you are feeding these children BAD and something to be "dealt with later" FFS!!!".
I feel like I should have taken more responsibility for my young girls. I try really hard not to expose them to all this utter bullshit out there in the world about food/dieting/bodies/love this/hate that/good food/bad food etc, not realising they were receiving daily dose of it from a loved trusted person.
I am overweight but try to be really body/food positive for my children. I know I have inherited a lot of bad internal thinking on food/diet/bodies/self image from my own Mum and I have really tried to break the chain when it came to my own daughters. Now I feel very undone.
I need to talk to CM about this. I think I need to find a new CM. I am so upset that this has happened especially as we have worked together for so long - I feel like I got her so wrong. But I really care about her and my DD love her.
And yes I am deliberately posting under Feminism - I feel that this is essentially a feminist issue as is protecting my DD's from all this crappy shit about food, diets, bodies etc girls are subject to.
I needed to vent that. I'm interested in your opinions as to how/if you would deal with a similar situation.
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Am I over reacting? re dieting and children
25 replies
Wilderbeast · 07/10/2016 15:17
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