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This man really annoyed me today

(15 Posts)
willowtreeonfire Tue 23-Aug-16 12:23:25

So I was walking to an appointment this morning and a man (he looked about 20) pulled his car up beside me and said "hello". I looked at him and smiled, but didn't reply as I didn't want to speak to him and started walking away at a quicker pace. He then began to follow me, in his car, driving really slowly next to me saying things like "you are beautiful" and asking me questions about where I was going etc. I responded to some of his remarks with "thank you" and also "no thank you, I am in a rush" but he would not leave me alone. I found it really intimidating. I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I have been in situations like this before which have turned agressive and I really didn't want this to happen. It was only when he asked me if I have a boyfriend (we were at a main road by this point as well and someone else was walking towards me) and I replied "I'm married" that he drove away.

This really, really annoyed me for many different reasons.
a) What do people like this think is actually going to happen? Did he think if he kept pestering me I would give in, engage in conversation which would lead to me getting in his car, for example? Are they bored and find it funny? Surely they realise it is intimidating to do this to someone and therefore not nice.
b) Situations like these NEVER happen when I go out in my hoodie and tracksuit bottoms or with my hair just washed and wet. Today, I was wearing a dress (not short - to my knee). Why do these men believe that if we have put on a dress, skirt or makeup it is then their right to behave in these ridiculous ways?

Sorry for the rant; it just really annoyed me!

willowtreeonfire Tue 23-Aug-16 12:25:26

Sorry, I meant to put some men. I know a lot of men wouldn't dream of behaving like this!

JacquettaWoodville Tue 23-Aug-16 12:26:32

It's a PITA for sure.

The answer is a sense of entitlement, as they view themselves and their opinions on you as more important than your time and feelings.

glitterwhip Tue 23-Aug-16 12:29:09

It's really telling that he didn't drive off until you pointed out you were married.
Entitled assholes like this have more respect for some unknown man than they do for your wish to be left alone!
Makes me angry ..sorry you had to deal with that x

powershowerforanhour Tue 23-Aug-16 12:32:12

Yes they realise that it is intimidating and not nice for you. People like this don't give a shit about your feelings. Who cares what the meat thinks? Either that or they get off on their ability to annoy or frighten you. Those ones probably go off home and wank off to a rape fantasy starring you. Depressing isn't it.

willowtreeonfire Tue 23-Aug-16 12:32:23

I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't tell him to fuck off and given him a piece of my mind. Me 5 years ago would have done...

glitterwhip Tue 23-Aug-16 12:36:41

Willow I think you handled it pretty well ..if you'd have told him to fuck off he'd have called you a fucking bitch and said he didn't fancy you anyway. You literally can't win with these knuckle dragging, slack jawed evolutionary throw backs

ShotsFired Tue 23-Aug-16 12:41:40

The same thing once happened to me late at night when I was a bit squiffy, walking home alone from seeing friends.

Looking back it was VERY dodgy. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to take his reg down. Again, as per OP, I wonder wtf he was hoping would happen - that I'd just get in his car?!

thedancingbear Tue 23-Aug-16 12:42:18

Did you get his registration number? You could consider reporting this to the police. Is there any chance that it's on CCTV? It's hard to imagine anything coming from it to be honest, but they may well go and have a word with him, and it it may also be that there's a pattern of behaviour that they would be able to do something about.

Marglemore Tue 23-Aug-16 12:45:33

The fact is he only drove off when you said you were married because then you are in his mind "another mans property"
If you had of said you were single but not interested he would not have been satisfied with this answer as then his ego would suffer.
What an entitled loser!

willowtreeonfire Tue 23-Aug-16 12:48:19

I didn't think to get his registration number, unfortunately. If anything like that happens again I will remember to try and get it.

I think some of them genuinely do think that if they can force you to engage in conversation they can then also coerce you into giving them your number, go on a "date" or, a more sinister motive, get you to get in the car and go back to their place or wherever.

booklooker Wed 31-Aug-16 17:22:14

I am a bloke (I think this is relevant). About 30 years ago I lived on the Costa del Sol and had a 'friend'who would often approach women and proposition them quite directly.

I wasn't exactly the most fem 'aware' of blokes, however his approach really angered me. I challenged him upon it a number of times.

He responded that if he did this to 100 women, he would probably get at least 1 shag out of it. And therefore it was worth it.

I don't think the reactions of the women he approached worried him at all. It was basically a yes/no question for him.

OldHarvingtonian Thu 15-Sep-16 23:50:45

Just an idea, but maybe we should start crrying notebooks and pens. When something like this happens, get them out and start making a note of the reg. When the bloke says "What are y doing?" Say, "I'm taking down your rnumber so I can report you to the police for sexual harassment."

AltheaThoon Fri 16-Sep-16 11:33:16

I hate that we're socialised to be polite to dicks like this.

The annoying thing is he will have forgotten about it as soon as he drove off but the experience has stayed with you.

Bloodybridget Sat 17-Sep-16 07:52:40

OldHarvingtonian yes, or just get your phone out and take a photo of driver and reg plate. But of course that could lead to more verbal/physical abuse.

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