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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Birthday presents for other kids

27 replies

cheminotte · 05/08/2015 10:11

Ds2 is five and has 4 parties to go to in the next 2 months. All school friends who I don't know. For large / whole class parties I would spend Max 5-10 pounds per head. Was looking around The Works yesterday for sticker books / craft sets or similar and its all so gendered. This isn't a surprise of course but am really struggling that I find it difficult to buy the little boys a 'Make your own Mr. Bump' or to get the girls some Lego. Intellectually I know Lego is fine for girls but wonder what the parents will think? At ds's own birthday he got loads of Lego and some outdoor toys but no books which I found a bit sad.

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ChunkyPickle · 05/08/2015 10:53

I've always just sent DS in to buy presents for his friends (about the price range you suggest, unless a particularly good friend).

as a consequence he'd given his friends everything from wooden tool boxes to guitars to something called kinetic sand, nano bugs and flying doodad kits - and it was a girl the toolbox went to.

Not generally books though - we have so many books that I figure other parents are probably in the same boat and buy something more exciting instead.

No-ones complained yet or made comments at the school gate, so they must be happy enough with the presents.

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FinallyHere · 05/08/2015 10:57

Book vouchers are my go to present, especially when i don't know the person very well.

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FinallyHere · 05/08/2015 10:57

Book vouchers are my go to present, especially when i don't know the person very well.

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Lightbulbon · 05/08/2015 11:09

Yes I've found this hard too.

Sometimes you can get board games for £5-10, they are quite neutral. Or some science type sets.

There's always things like pens/pencils/crayons & paper/colouring books.

What about a cinema token?

Jigsaws can be neutral too.

Anything musical.

Some sweets if you need to top up.

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LassUnparalleled · 05/08/2015 13:07

How is a set of coloured pencils or felt tip pens or Lego pirates or anything to do with animals or dinosaurs or card games gendered ?

I've just Googled "jigsaws for 5- 8 year olds" on Amazon and apart from Frozen items nothing was gendered. There was a fantastic 3D jigsaw of an owl for £3.99, lots of puzzles, rubik cube/ sudoko cubes/ snap card games.

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alexpolistigers · 05/08/2015 13:38

I always give books, on the basis that I would love more books for mine to read.

No one has complained yet!

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cheminotte · 05/08/2015 16:47

Agree felt tip pens are fine. Hadn't thought of jigsaws. But the sticker books were a choice between 'My pretty sticker book', ' 'my princess sticker book' and 'Ninja turtles' , 'Spiderman' etc. I know there are boys and girls who like both but without knowing the child, I'd be reluctant to get the 'wrong' one. I do like the idea of getting DS to choose and he did pick up a Minions pencil case.

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YonicScrewdriver · 05/08/2015 16:47

Lots of 'pocket money" toys are gendered., DS1 likes sewing and it took more effort to find something that wasn't "sew your own pink flower purse"

I tend to ask the kids now to choose or do money and sweets.

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YonicScrewdriver · 05/08/2015 16:48

I also don't give books unless I know they'll be welcome / this is for girls and boys.

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cheminotte · 05/08/2015 16:54

Exactly Yonic re craft - DS teachers have suggested him doing some sewing to improve fine motor skills, but the shops have bracelets, purses, dolls etc which doesn't interest him so much. I did buy the Mr. Bump kit though but will use as a gift.

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HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 05/08/2015 16:59

For that price, you could get a board game. They're always reduced in the entertainer, or toys r us.

For that age, what about frustration, hungry hippos, guess who, junior monopoly, ker plunk? Or a play doh set? The dentist one is gender neutral.

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YonicScrewdriver · 05/08/2015 17:07

I got something at a charity shop I think - let me try and find it

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YonicScrewdriver · 05/08/2015 17:07
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addictedtosugar · 05/08/2015 17:08

Scoobydoo seems fairly neutral.
Garden toys - buckets spades, veg growing kits, cress kits etc, skittles

As an aside, hobbycraft has some dinosaur bags, gruffalo stuff and an octopus to see.

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addictedtosugar · 05/08/2015 17:09

To sew, after seeing! Had to correct the autocorrect again. Apparently not allowed to sew...

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YonicScrewdriver · 05/08/2015 17:13
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stealthsquiggle · 05/08/2015 17:20

OP, if you look at Usborne "doodle" books, especially on Book People and the like, and discount all the gendered ones, they are a really good option, especially if combined with some age-appropriate pens or pencils.

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cheminotte · 07/08/2015 10:04

Thanks for all the great tips. Just had a splurge at the Book people. They have Roald Dahl CDs back in.

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LovelyFriend · 10/08/2015 19:59

cash or voucher in a card so the child can choose for themself

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serenaserene · 10/08/2015 21:45

Usbourne 1001 things.. or See Inside... books are usually well received and very often sold well below RRP so a decent gift without looking too cheap.

There's always the possibility of duplicating but I figure most of us know how to deal with surplus presents Smile

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drinkscabinet · 11/08/2015 21:16

I buy sets of books from the book people. They had a really nice set of 10 poetry books which I bought recently, I split the sets up and give multiple books as presents. Mind you my kids always complain that 'we always give books'. They'll learn, they are bookworms themselves so not sure why they don't like giving them. Good friends get other (more expensive) stuff.

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NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 11/08/2015 21:22

I hate books as presents because they are always either duplicates or not relevant to the interest of the child - one year we got 4 copies of "Twas The Night Before Christmas" for Christmas (we already had it and none of the kids have ever liked it)... they are a "look at me, I am a giver who gives books" present.. for both my girl and my boys... [ducks and runs]

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NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 11/08/2015 21:27

Lego City, Lego juniors, animal jigsaws (apart from maybe fluffy animals) and board and card games and a lot of craft stuff aren't gendered.

I also let my kids choose for their friends - but then whole class parties aren't a phenomenon here so they always know the child who's party they are going to, rather than barely being able to pick them out in the playground but the whole class has been invited - that would be harder! :o

From about age 5 kids here always put a wish basket together at a named toy shop... horribly grabby to an English sensibility but I love it now as it means you buy the child something they personally actually want, rather than something to be re-gifted/ thrown away barely used after gathering dust for a while/ shoved to the back of a cupboard/ given to the charity shop or sold at the next car boot sale...

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Mashtag · 11/08/2015 21:39

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Mashtag · 11/08/2015 21:39

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