I'm sitting and silently questioning my own inaction right now, and, well, I guess I'm looking for inspiration as to what I could have done/said differently (if anything) in two recent experiences.
1 - Walking toward a mini Tesco last night - about 6:30pm, and it's not wonderfully well lit. There's a huddle of young boys; 4 or 5 of them, probably about 16-18 years old (I'm 28). I'm wearing flat boots, a knee-length skirt and an over-sized work fleece, so it's not like I was all gussied up (not that that makes any difference really) and as I walk past I hear one of the boys address me with a catcall; nothing offensive, but certainly not appropriate to be calling out at unsuspecting women. I ignore them and walk into the shop, get my groceries, then head on back out for a second round. Again it's a case of 'hey beautiful, how about a hug, how about a kiss.' I say nothing and keep walking. I want to turn around and say something like 'how old are you?' or just 'be better people,' but it's dark and I'm outnumbered and those two facts make me a little nervous and a little angry because I don't like being in a position when I feel nervous.
2 - Sitting in the office this morning. It's just me and possibly a half dozen men (there are two other women who work in the office, but they were out at this point) and some of the men are talking. It's not a large office and I sit in the space between these guys, so I'm privy to the exchange. One (A) is lamenting it being a tough morning in some work he's doing with another, predominantly-female, department, and makes a quip about how they're all about ready to hit the wine. Colleague B retorts with 'You're getting women drunk at 9 in the morning?' in a sort of jokey bantery way, and A replies oh-so-funnily with 'Well it's that or Rohypnol'. Because jokes about date-rape drugs are hilarious. As the only female, and the youngest, and most junior member of the team I said nothing. I've made a couple of feministy statements before, a colleague commented on my ability to throw something into a bin a short distance away by implying it was impressive for a girl - said to get a response, and that response was my 'Seriously?' and an unimpressed look.
But yeah, I'm now sitting here thinking that I wish I had said something to indicate that I found their joke uncomfortable, and that I don't really appreciate their generally 'laddish' attitude. I just don't know what I can say, and what I ought to let slide because this is a shared workspace and it's not my place to police their words, 'banter', opinions or whatever. The office is generally a lot of fun; we all chat and laugh throughout the day, it's fairly rare that it crosses my line of comfort. I don't know if I'm making mountains out of molehills, or if it's because this morning's comment came so soon after last night's encounter with the youths.
I dunno... I just feel like I should have said something, I just don't know what.
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
How would you have reacted?
8 replies
Frettchen · 26/02/2014 13:35
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