Hello, really hoping for some practical advice here!
DP and I are getting weddinged in August. Currently, we have seperate bank accounts and each pay exactly half of every bill, leaving our 'spending money' seperate. He earns a couple of hundred more each month than I do; hopefully that will be changing very soon but that's the situation as it stands.
I have always believed that we should keep it this way until recently, but it's starting to feel silly. When I broached the idea of a joint account and pooling our wages before splitting them equally, including spending money, he seemed to feel that I was basically just asking for some free money (because I would end up better off out of this, and he worse).
BUT. And here's the but. Although part of me believes in completely seperate finances, the other part believes that in order to be completely equal in partnership what we actually need is pooled resources. From a feminist perspective, it's this:
A) Keeping finances seperate technicaly means we are 'financially independant' from each other (although not true, as neither of us could maintain our current lifestyle withoutt he other paying half of stuff).
B) Pooling our resources means we both have equal amounts of everything, which actually feels more fair in some ways.
So I'm not sure whether to push it or not. I currently feel strongly in favour of B, and think we should sort this out before we have DC in a few years. But every time I bring it up he is negative and seems to basically think I'm trying to take his money (which makes me think he's being childish and quite frankly a bit of a knob). But I am prepared to be told that's wrong.
WWYD?
(X-posting to the Money Matters board)
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
Should we be sharing wages equally, or keeping them seperate??
29 replies
sunshineandfreedom · 10/01/2013 08:32
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