I wanted to post this in feminism as I am fed up of this old fashioned attitude that I still see in small business. DH does work in an industry domineered by men but this is changing. It's all just coming to a head, I'm pregnant and emotional but it's not an excuse for how pissed off I feel.
My lovely DH runs a small family company, he was the only one out of three boys that showed any interest. His parents are currently the owners, he manages all aspects, they do the accounts. In April his parents have arranged for him to take over the business fully, though they will still do the accounting. I've been with DH 15 years and he is a [mostly] modern man and treats women as equals and has a positive view on my involvement with the 'new' business.
The idea is he wants the business to be set up with us both as Directors and me actually taking a wage from the business for my involvement [personnel, admin and implementing/modernising the computer system]. At the moment his dad takes a wage and his mum does not, though she does all the inputting of the accounts and all the admin support, it's not because the company cannot afford to pay her.
His parents are making a hullaballoo over my involvement, they want me still to provide my services but with no charge and to not be registered as a Director. I hit the roof over this bit 'Because I am a woman and it's not my place to ask for a wage, I should provide this because I am his wife and it's my duty.' I have plenty of experience to bring to the company, which my husband is excited about, he really wants to get the company out of the dark ages and into the modern world.
I am on a career break at the moment, I am looking after my 2 year old DD and 20 weeks pregnant. I don't plan to be on a break forever and it would be great, actually, to be working with DH as the hours are what I make of it and the pay a reflection of that.
MiL is terrible at admin, it's not her specialty, she makes lots of mistakes and tries to be fast, but just makes more mistakes. So DH does most of it himself rather than asking his mum. However he's been rather stretched over the last 6 months and I offered to help out. We've been working well as a team and I've been able to think for myself and develop his notes further and do research to help. He has really appreciated this and it's made him more enthusiastic to have me taking more of a role in the company.
FiL found out recently and said it's okay I'm helping out, could I type a letter for him. DH brought the letter home, I typed it up, it was full of grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and some of the things he was talking about was out of date with current legislation. So I spoke with DH, he agreed, I corrected the letter. FiL went ballastic, as a woman I should do what I am told and not think for myself, he went off on one at DH, who was dreadfully embarrassed and stood up for me. However, if DH had changed that letter and not said I had,it would have been fine, FiL admitted that.
MiL has attempted to make things right, but it's by saying that I should just cow tow and DH should pay me from his wages if it's just about me still 'earning', which it isn't.
I'd really appreciate your advice on how we can go about getting it across to PiL that I AM and WILL be taking more of an active involvement and it doesn't matter if I am a woman or not, I will not be spoken to in that way and I will be paid and treated equally. I can think for myself and I am pretty intelligent and have experience in relevant areas [though not much in the engineering world]. I suppose in April they will have to get used to it, as it will, effectively, be in DH's name who can do with it what he wants, but I don't want things to be bitter, I've still got to work with them.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
PIL with traditional views and my involvement with DH's company
22 replies
KelleStarOfWonder · 05/12/2012 16:08
OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom ·
06/12/2012 09:07
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.