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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"Would you let your daughter go to party dressed like a slut?" See this answer

25 replies

ButterPopcorn · 02/04/2012 09:22

See here.

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QuickQuickSloe · 02/04/2012 09:28

I read this before and thought it made a good point. On reflection though, don't you think it perpetuates the myth that it is mostly drunk girls in slutty clothes that get raped?

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ButterPopcorn · 02/04/2012 09:51

Mmm yeah, I guess it does.

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swallowedAfly · 02/04/2012 09:57

i rather like it.

i don't think she is perpetuating that myth i think she's/he is criticising the myth. i also don't think she's talking about preventing rape or whether it will occur but tackling an attitude about girl's clothing and where the priorities lie.

i have a boy - i'm clear that the responsibility to prevent him raping anyone lies with me, not the parents of the girls he will encounter.

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ButterPopcorn · 02/04/2012 10:01

Interesting too, swallowedAfly.

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BusinessTrills · 02/04/2012 10:02

The only thing that makes a woman attractive to rapists is appearing easier to rape.

Not being sexy, or slutty or hot.

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swallowedAfly · 02/04/2012 10:20

mind you trills given the rape myths that perpetuate in society and the judicial system he is then probably wise to rape a girl wearing skimpy clothes and make sure she's had plenty of alcohol to maximise his chances of not being prosecuted.

fucked up world and all that.

men if you want to get away with rape:
-make sure you take her on a date first
-get her to wear a short skirt
-make sure she consumes alcohol
-get yourself invited into her home and do the raping there
-ideally choose someone with a bit of a reputation for being easy
-for guaranteed immunity rape a prostitute

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BusinessTrills · 02/04/2012 10:26

Sad but true.

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JuliaScurr · 02/04/2012 10:48

The reason women and girls are raped - the only reason - is because they meet a rapist.
If you meet a rapist, it doesn't matter what you wear - burkha, bikini, jeans, wedding dress, nun's habit - the rapist will try to rape you because he is a rapist. If you meet a man who is not a rapist, it doesn't matter what you wear - burkha, bikini, nothing - he will not try to rape you because he is not a rapist.

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SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 02/04/2012 11:34

It looks to me like he's challenging rape myths, he points out that clothing is only a problem because we live in a world which blames the victim not the perpetrator and if it was the other way round than clothing wouldn't matter.

It's a good response actually, go away and raise your son to be somebody who won't touch women inappropriately.

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InmaculadaConcepcion · 02/04/2012 17:00

I posted that on my FB page. Got a few interesting responses from some of my male friends who felt a bit affronted by it. Poor things.

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swallowedAfly · 02/04/2012 17:48

yes poor things - it's weird how men get offended by criticism of rapists Confused

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AnyFucker · 02/04/2012 17:52

I love that reply

"look to your sons, not my daughter"

absolutely

blame fairly where it lies....with the rapist

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SharonGless · 02/04/2012 17:57

Great piece, I have a son and a daughter and am concentrating more in challenging gender stereotyping with him than her. He doesn't see it at home, it's from playground conversations.

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BlingLoving · 02/04/2012 18:02

I think this is good. It makes the point that it doesn't matter what the women wears - rape is rape is rape is bad. Full stop. I might post it on facebook. Not something I do often.

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BlingLoving · 02/04/2012 18:03

Although I'm not wild about the suggestion implied that he'd take law into his own hands.

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StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2012 18:07

It's amazing that it needs to be pointed out that the reason women are raped is because the man is a rapist. But it does.

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StealthPolarBear · 02/04/2012 18:08

after all people say "if you leave valuables in your car it makes it more tempting to criminals"
But they do get that it's only criminals - implaication that most "normal" people would not suddenly get the urge to break into a car if they spotted the iphone on the back seat.

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swallowedAfly · 02/04/2012 18:15

stealth i think it's telling - despite feminists being accused of thinking all men are rapists the rape myths actually seem to be saying exactly that - that any reasonable man could rape if a woman wore sexy clothes, a woman was drunk, a woman kissed them in a bed etc.

really it's clear who thinks all men are rapists.

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InmaculadaConcepcion · 02/04/2012 20:21

To be fair to the men who commented when I posted it on my FB page, it was the "taking law into own hands" aspect of it that they took issue with. I said I felt it was underlining the point, but they felt it undermined the point.

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swallowedAfly · 03/04/2012 07:57

given the laws notoriously blind eye to rapists i am actually surprised there haven't been more 'law in own hands' incidents.

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csev · 26/06/2012 07:41

Hi InmaculadaConcepcion! Can I ask for a link of that photo? I've seen it before but I was unable to save it. I would like to share it with friends. Thank you!

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thechairmanmeow · 26/06/2012 21:34

julia great post!

i'm not attall afronted by critsisim of rapists , it's when sentences like "men should stop raping" instead of "rapists should stop raping" get banded about that my back gets up.

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pornmonkey · 26/06/2012 22:34

i have a boy - i'm clear that the responsibility to prevent him raping anyone lies with me, not the parents of the girls he will encounter.

Hmmm, overheard at work something along the lines of "Did these men's mums not bother teaching them right from wrong when they were kids?", during a tea break conversation recently. I disagreed, but it's more or less the same as what you are saying is it not?

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AnyFucker · 26/06/2012 22:37

this thread is 2 months old

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pornmonkey · 26/06/2012 22:43
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