I saw another post on her about choosing Mrs, Ms or remaining Ms when marrying and it got me thinking (as Im planning my wedding)
Since I was a teenage and could take a informed feminist view point I have always ticked the Ms box on everything and will continue to be a Ms when married but Im not quite comfortable with my decision of surname...
I have my dads surname and have always used it, but inbetween my middle name and surname is my mums maiden name... My dad is a wanker and has never been involved with me but refused to allow me and my siblings to change our name when we were young, and to be honest Ive not thought about it since..
When my son was born i agreed for him to have my OH surname but on the condition he had my mums maiden name inbetween his middle name and surname... but we dont use in day to day life purely for ease cos the names dont go well together...
On planning our wedding my MIL questioned why I was caution of taking my OH surname and I told her that it didnt feel right as my name should be my own but oddly my dads surname doesnt feel like it is mine! and so I was talked it to agreeing to take their name so that our son didnt ask questions and to make life easy... Now thinkin about it Im uneasy about it, I want our son to know we r a unit but I would really like to change my name to my mums maiden name...
So hear is where I asked for your advice... Is it really impractical to have a family under different surnames? Could we start using initials to represent out DS's middle name and middle surname in day to day life so that he feels linked to me too, if I were to revert to my mums maiden name? or would that just confuse him?
What r schools like about it, or banks etc? How could I explain this to my MIL and FIL? Will this affect my son in anyway? OR should I just shut up about it n get used to the idea I should be taking my OHs surname cos its easier for all??
Hope thats understandable!!
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
Surnames both mine and my ds (babbling alittle)
13 replies
GingerLa · 18/09/2011 20:47
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