I HATE the way I look, I need to change starting with my weight

(18 Posts)
Everythinginred Mon 04-May-20 15:58:12

Ok so as the title says, I hate the way I look, I need to change and I need to start with my weight.

I’m 49 years old and I’m worried I’ve left it too late to get a nice looking figure. I’m not talking about a lean toned looking figure, I want to be a size 12, I want to keep my curves. I’m 5’5 and I currently weigh 12.7lbs. I don’t actually care what I weigh, I just want to fit into a size 12 which is what I used to be about 12 year ago.

I think it was depression which caused me to eat and eat and eat hence why I’ve put on so much weight And I’m finding it hard to stop binging.

I have done the diets in the past and they worked for a little while then I just started binging again so the weight (and more) piled back on. Last year I hired a PT she helped me work out my Macros and calorie intake and it was okay but then my mum died and I and up putting the weight back on.

I love walking so try to do that and over the past 3 days I’ve walked 18 miles in total so I’m counting my steps and I still have the macro/calorie details from my pt. I can’t afford any more pt sessions when lockdown finishes so I don’t know what I need to change my macros and calories too but I always end up sabotaging everything my binging. Today I’ve completely gone off the rails and have had nothing sensible to eat. I’ve managed to stop myself eating anymore junk by coming in here and writing this.

My wardrobe is filled with beautiful clothes and I just want to be able to like myself and look after myself more.

What do other people do to stop sabotaging their weight loss. Last week, I was heating healthy th4 full week, weighed everything, put it all into my fitness pal (made sure I was eating enough and did at least 10,000 steps most days and I put on 0.5lbs!!! It didn’t matter the week before I lost 3.5lbs I was just so disappointed that I put on!

Is anyone else like this?

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Everythinginred Mon 04-May-20 16:07:33

I think the problem is because I’m almost 50 I think what’s the point you’ve left it too late, but on the other hand people tell me I look alot younger As I do follow a skincare regimen and I love makeup. I just wish I could control my diet

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RealityNotEssentialism Mon 04-May-20 16:38:30

Obviously you haven’t left it too late - you have half of your adult life left to live and you’re starting from a fairly low weight so it will probably just take you 3 months or so. However, maybe focus on health for the time being rather than looks. Shifting 2 stone or so will do wonders for your internal organs and will make your old age (still a long way away!) much easier.

I am also trying to shift a few stone and am trying to silence the voice inside trying to sabotage by saying there’s no point. There’s always a point in being healthy!

daffodilflowers (non-calorific treats)

Everythinginred Mon 04-May-20 19:04:20

Thank you RealityNotEssentialism, that voice is so loud. I just need to try harder, I hate myself even more after I’ve eaten badly it’s a vicious cycle.

I wish I could just like myself a little bit to be able to look after myself. I carry a lot of weight round my middle, and I know that’s the most dangerous place to carry it.

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RealityNotEssentialism Mon 04-May-20 21:40:00

Good luck! Seriously though, you don’t have that much to lose weight-wise. The time is going to pass anyway so you may as well give it a go and see what happens. I bet that if you start now, you’ll be down half a stone by this time next month and then you’ll be a quarter of the way there.

The lockdown has helped a bit I think. I have started exercising daily which I never used to do.

Mmmmdanone Mon 04-May-20 22:46:25

I feel the same- also 49! It's all so much harder than it used to be. If I put my mind to it I used to be able to lose a few pounds really easily. Not anymore. No advice, just wanted to sympathise. I'm 50 in a month and wanted to look nice for then, not that I'll be doing much if still in lockdown 😟

Everythinginred Tue 05-May-20 10:15:12

Thank you. I was thinking of doing slimming world to get me started, I know from the past when I went on that I did stick that For a while and lost almost 2.5 stone. No walking for me today as I really need to give my legs a rest. Have some resistance bands coming in the post this week so will start doing exercises with those

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RealityNotEssentialism Tue 05-May-20 10:17:57

There’s a couple of other threads on here, including one where people are aiming to lost around 2 stone. We’re doing a weigh-in in on Sundays so think about joining that one as it sounds perfect for your weight-loss goal. You’ll get the accountability that SW offers, without the price!

Bloomburger Tue 05-May-20 10:46:23

Please don't join SW, it's not a long term sustainable lifestyle, that's why it's such a great business model.

Start looking at your portion sizes for a start and get a plate which shows you how much of each food group you should be eating. Try to steer clear of processed food as that's where your empty calories would come from.

With your exercise try to do something which gets your heart rate up, even walking at a fast pace so you can feel your heart rate increasing.

30 day Shred is good but take it at your own pace.

Don't cut out treats altogether but try to have a small handful of nuts or maybe a couple of dates (they're very very sweet) or a couple of squares of dark chocolate.

Use a tape measure rather than the scales and try and measure every 4 weeks.

You will get there but you need to be kind to yourself. Diets will give you quicker results but as you've done before you'll fall off the wagon and the weight will go back on.

Good luck. X

RealityNotEssentialism Tue 05-May-20 11:18:23

Yeah, I don’t rate the SW diet as it prioritises processed food over real stuff but I think the weigh ins help accountability.

Sophia750 Tue 05-May-20 11:33:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

somewheresorted Tue 05-May-20 12:30:46

At our age, it really is all about health and if you concentrate on that the aesthetics, size 12’s will soon follow!

It sounds like you’ve already made some really good steps - for me, the game changer was realising that it didn’t matter if I messed up for 3 days, what’s important is getting back on track - tomorrow is a new day. I ditched the scales and used my clothes and the tape measure as a guide and i’m sure this has gone a long way in stopping me self sabotage. Can you try looking at this as a long term plan?

I honestly believe at my age, 48, it’s more important than ever to look after ourselves. I try and regularly exercise and consciously think about what I’m eating.. even if it means I eat well all day but then ruin it in the evening, at least I know that I have put as much fresh, unprocessed food into my body, full of nutrients for the most part. I’m in no rush here, it’s all about balance and it has to be achievable.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Tue 05-May-20 13:35:45

@Everythinginred You definitely haven't left it too late. You're approaching 50: you're not dead blush

I lost six and a half stones in my late 40s. I looked horrendous (in my opinion) when I was 40. Now I'm ripped to shreds blush It hasn't improved my face much — as my username reveals — but .... you can't have everything can ya? grin

Don't put it off. One day? Or day one? You got this flowers

Everythinginred Tue 05-May-20 21:43:30

Thank you again everyone for your advice, I don’t eat processed meals I cook from scratch. I allow myself a takeaway well half a takeaway as I share it with DH and even then I never finish it. It’s chocolate that’s my downfall. I’ve even tried not to have it in the house, but I always end up going down to the shop.

As I said I just want to be a size 12. A couple of years ago I got down to 11st 5 but I was still a 14 and some 14 size clothes were still to small for me. I remember when I was 30, I was 10st 4 and a size 12 was too small for me then too (confused). I have a very large bust but have always had this even when I was a size 10mi was still a FF cup size, but I’m going to see a consultant in a couple of months about a reduction.

I’m concerned that I might have lose skin on my tummy as I have a slight apron (but only one one side). NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace did you have any lose skin from your tummy when you lost your weight? I have to say that’s quite inspirational that you have lost all that weight. Do you mind if I ask what clothes size you are now?

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Everythinginred Tue 05-May-20 21:49:46

Does anyone think I will rediscover my waist? Or will that have just disappeared forever now?

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NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Wed 06-May-20 11:09:51


I don't mind at all. I come on these boards specifically to help people around our age and to remind them that (a) it's not too late, (b) there is still plenty of life left for living and (c) you can get a fab result, no matter what age you are.

In answer to your questions, no I didn't end up with any loose skin. I guess that will vary – dependent upon a myriad of things — but it's not a given that you're going to end up with excess skin.

I started out at size 20 (15 stones). I currently sit at around 8st 10lbs and am a size 8 (top) and 6 (bottom). It does sound quite extreme, I know, but ..... I've taken up competitive bodybuilding and I really did have to whittle the body fat right down to get into any semblance of competition shape blush

Oh and .... you absolutely will rediscover your waist; there's no reason at all that you shouldn't.

It's all yours for the taking flowers

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Wed 06-May-20 11:14:16

And, as you haven't seen them, here are the before and after pics!

Everythinginred Wed 06-May-20 13:01:41

Wow NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace you look bloody amazing. Thank you so much your Pictures looks amazing, you have defo given me th4 encouragement not to get disheartened. I will keep going, a lovely 8 mile walk I’ve done the morning (was out at 6am and live very near a farm where I just walk the fields). I hate cardio so walking is the only cardio I do although I gut take up spinning when lockdown is over and th4 gyms open back up but think I will concentrate on using weights to get toned xx

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