How to stick to weightloss plan (seemingly limited will power!)

[fluffyrice]

Hi. After having been slim in my younger days then piling on quite a bit of weight, a few years ago I joined SW and lost 3 stones. I found the plan quite simple and the accountability/routine of weighing in each week and having to speak to someone else about it helped me stick to it. Since last Summer I have gradually slipped back in to my old ways and put most of the weight back on. I've generally been busier so haven't managed to get to weekly weigh ins and then the lockdown was all the excuse I needed to stop even trying.
I really want to get slimmer again and I know that SW seemed to work but I really hated the language (speed food/syns/free food etc- it feels like they assume we're not smart enough to follow a plan without child like names for foods etc. The meetings had also become increasingly irritating- lots of the people were lovely but the consultant was one of those 'larger than life' types which is just not my cup of tea. Added to which, since lockdown she has been constantly posting on the SW facebook group about what a bad time she's having and how let down she feels by those members who have chosen not to join the virtual groups. So I really don't think I could face going back. Unfortunately she covers all the groups anywhere near me. There is not a local WW group but I think there may be one in a nearby town.
Does anyone have any advice/tips on whether it is possible for someone like me (who clearly lacks willpower to simply eat less crap etc) to lose weight without joining SW or WW? Thanks

[DragonOnFire]

Just checked in and seen your message OP. Just wanted to say that I always thought I could lose weight without an app or a designated diet (SW or WW) and in the past have just used exercise and a cut-out-the-crap approach.
Now I'm mid 30's with a young baby and it isn't so easy to just eat healthier, although exercise is easier with lockdown as I no longer commute 2hrs/day.
I downloaded the SW app and it wouldn't even work on my phone. I tried a free trial of Noom and hated it as there was just so much to do - 20 questions a day, someone texting you all the time and the food plans were an added extra to the trial. Also the "free" trial wasn't not free- they still ask you for a payment, suggesting £2 as a minimum but they ask for more.
And now I get to what has helped me, and I didn't think it would: it was giving WW a go. They have 3 months free at the moment, so you can create yourself an account and give it a go with no commitment or cost.
I'm 3 weeks in and have enjoyed challenging myself to stick to my daily allowance, but more importantly, I have lost 7lb. The app is easy, the plan is easy to follow and is not patronising, there is an online community of people to talk to, and you can chat to a coach online (I haven't tried it but it keeps suggesting it to me). Hope you're OK and finding ways to start your journey :) I have never used a group or specific diet to any avail, so this is a first for me and I want to pass on the good vibes I've had so far.

[DragonOnFire]

Oh, and one more piece of advice: I bought a new set of bathroom scales that can measure body composition. They were about £23 on amazon and come with an app so that you can track your weight and body composition in the app (VeSyncFit). It shows me that I am losing fat and whether it is visceral or subcutaneous fat, tracks my BMI, water composition etc. etc. It also makes a pleasing little sound when you have lost weight which is a fun enough encouragement for me.
Even my DH has tried to join in the weight loss journey and has downloaded the app for the scales. He is doing a protein shake meal replacement diet but I have no idea if it's working for him.

[Bubblysqueak]

Try using the Paul McKenna I can make you thin app. It retrains your brain to recognise when you're actually hungry or emotionally eating. It also gives you strategies to help with willpower and cravings. It really helps.

[annacharles111]

The answer to your question is "yes." Yes you can lose weight and yes you can keep it off.

But you are unlikely to do it by willpower. That involves pitting your wits against the desire to eat, a contest you are unlikely to win in the long run. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!

Rather than beating yourself up over being overweight and treating the symptom (the overeating) you need to address WHY you overeat. There's a whole lot of stuff we could do on that, but here's something you can start right now. It might sound a bit weird :-), but it does work:

a) Write down all the thoughts you have about yourself and food. You included some in your post "I clearly lack willpower to simply eat less crap", "the lockdown was all the excuse I needed to stop even trying." Keep writing it all down, everything you think about you and food, every belief, excuse, reason, everything.

b) Look at that list and ask yourself how all the statements in a) make you feel? Write those feelings down. Looking at the statements in your post I'll posit that one feeling might be something like "frustrated". Just for an example.Then ask yourself: would someone who is feeling "frustrated" be willing to do the consistent work needed to lose weight? I would suggest not. So by beating yourself up with negative thoughts, you make yourself feel more "frustrated" which, in turn, leads you to take no action to lose weight - confirming your initial thoughts that you're no good at weight loss. It's a vicious cycle, but the really excellent news is that you can change this for good.

c) So now I want you to pick a feeling you will CHOOSE to feel about you losing weight. It has to be something you can believe. How about courage? If you feel courageous are you more likely be willing to start taking the action needed to adapt your eating habits? I would suggest yes, and certainly far more than someone who feels "frustrated" (as in the above example).

d) Finally identify what you'd need to think to make yourself feel courageous. Perhaps "I am willing to believe I've got what it takes to lose xxx kg."

Then practice. Practice the new thoughts. Actively experience the new feelings they give you. The kind of feelings that will spur you into taking the actions needed to lose weight. All the while being VERY kind to yourself. You've lost and regained weight before. So what? That doesn't mean you're stuck that way for ever. You're starting right now.

There's lots more that follows that I could suggest, but start with this for now. Let me know how you get on.