I really do need to stop worrying but I can't stop thinking about my weight I constantly think about mostly first thing in morn and last thing at night . I keep saying to myself I'll be good and eat well today which I usually do and have got to a weight and size I feel happy at but when I eat something which isn't part of a healthy diet or my routine I feel so guilty :( I tend to enjoy myself at weekends but when Monday comes I have the guilt feeling
i. Im 30 currently weigh 11.13 am 5,7 I'm a size 12 top 14 bottom and would say slim but curvy I have also had 3 children
I've had a weight problem since I was very young . I was bullied all through school for being the "fat girl" was kicked and punched because of it .
Through seniors I was a size 18 but ended up loosing a dramatic amount of weight by the last year of seniors which made me a size 10 weighed 10 stone
After my first child at 19 I ate for England and went up to a size 22-24 and weighed 17 stone I felt awful and went to weightwatchers managed to loose 4stone stayed around 13 stone mark for about 3 years .
then had my 2nd child . I went up to 15 stone after having her felt awful again and was out one day I overheard a man say to his friend "fucking hell have you seen the size or that arse !"
I felt so ashamed I was in tears
From that day I said I'm going to loose weight . I had a goal to loose weight too as I had arranged my wedding I managed to get down to 11.7 was a size 12 and very happy
I then had my 3rd child ate healthy and only gained 1stone during pregnancy which came off after so I am now back to 11.13 and no matter what I do I cannot get past 11.10 I've plateued now
My daily diet has been a healthy cereal bar or yogurt for breakfast
1small jacket potato for lunch with a spoon of coleslaw and a apple
Dinner would be fajita wraps or something similar a small portion and lots of water
I exercise lots of walking and wii dance games too
So I know I'm doing all that right
I feel really good about myself when I stick to this I feel slim but weekends it find incredibly hard this weekend I have just eaten what I call normal food and I can already see I've put on weight as most mums know after having a few children you get what's called a apron I tend to gain weight on this area and i then have a muffin top I then have to try and loose again .
It's a viscous circle
I think I constantly worry about what I look like and my weight because of being bullied when I was younger and people being very judgmental when you are overweight I'm very paranoid
I still see the big fat ugly teenager when I look in the mirror not what I actually look like now
:(
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Constantly thinking about my weight and feel guilty when I eat
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Brewstersmillions · 12/05/2014 13:07
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