I actually can't stop eating.
The past couple of months I've spiralled out of control and I don't know how to get back to normal.
I run a lot (about 28-30km per week, sometimes more) and have a decent pace of about 4'45" per km so I'm burning a fair amount of calories.
However, there's no way on earth I can blame my over-eating on the running as I'm consuming way over the amount I'm burning. I've also been running the distance/pace for quite a few months now but it's only been the last couple of months I've been over-eating.
I'm so cross with myself.
I've had to name-change as I'm so completely ashamed of the amount of food I get through. It's all refined sugars/carbohydrates and I'm utterly addicted
I'm not big. I'm about 5ft4 and weigh about 9.3 stone (probably more now, terrified to weigh myself) but the amount of crap I can get down my neck is disgusting and seemingly impossible for someone of my size.
For instance, tonight I had (after a very healthy day):
120g bar of Fruit and Nut Dairy Milk
Half a large bag of pretzels
a very full side plate sized spaghetti bolognese
Large bag of Dairy Milk Caramel chocolate button things
The other half of the large bag of pretzels
Two heaped teaspoons of Nutella
Four Weight Watchers biscuits
Low calorie hot chocolate with light squirty cream on top
It's disgusting. I used to allow myself one binge day every weekend as a treat and I had it under control. Now it's almost daily and I cannot control it. If it;s not chocolate then it's bags and bags of sweets.
I'm on MyFitnessPal.com and love it. I've been on it since June this year and finally got down to my (personally) ideal weight of 8st 12. I was ecstatic! I felt amazing. I've no idea what changed.
These days I can do really well during the day but by supper time it's like I've been possessed
My thighs and tummy are getting very wobbly, the extra pounds are affecting my running and I'm worried I'll do some serious damage to my organs and arteries if I carry on.
My friends are near enough useless as they say "There's nothing of you", "You do so much running, you'll burn it all off in no time", "It's the colder weather, you need more calories"
They just don't seem to understand the severity of it. It's like bulimia without the purging In fact I nearly posted this in Mental Health...
I need to get out of this desperately as, with the Christmas season, it's only going to get worse.
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I feel like I'm drowning in sheer uncontrollable greed
68 replies
Spiralling0ut0fControl · 04/12/2012 22:05
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