Conflict of duties for friends wedding

[Sunshinesmile123]

Hi, looking for impartial advice.

My 2 year old son is currently going through chemotherapy and is due his last round next week. However, my friend got engaged last year and asked me to be her bridesmaid for her wedding which was supposed to be next year and I was thrilled when she asked me but now her fiance' s health has deteriorated and they have moved the wedding up to the week after my son's last chemotherapy. I don't feel like I can mentally cope with being her bridesmaid and I told her this when she was organising it for this soon but she planned me in anyways. I haven't left my son for that long before for a whole day and he will still be going through sickness and I'm stresses enough with getting the results of his last scans to see if he will be in remission but I don't know if she will just think I'm horrible for telling her I can't be there for the wedding. I would still go to the evening thing for a couple of hours just not the full day.

Also I am her only bridesmaid so if I said no at this point she may not have time to ask anyone else which is stressing me even further.

Thanks.

[LoveInTokyo]

When is the wedding and how far is it from where you live?

I don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting to put your child first, but you need to have an honest chat with your friend.

[ReservoirDogs]

She is being very insensitive and a twat. Of course it is definitely ok to tell her you will not be going to the wedding as your sick child comes first.

He hasn't just got a sniffle that allows gran to look after him. What is the bride thinking? I hope she is on here and sees what unacceptable extra stress she is putting you under!

[Aprilshowersinaugust]

If she is any sort of friend she will insist you be with your ds.
Tell her today so she can find a replacement.
Hope your precious ds is OK too.

[ApolloandDaphne]

You need to be with your son and that is that. Tell your friend you understand why she has changed the date of her wedding however due to your son's chemotherapy needs you cannot fulfil your duties and be her bridesmaid. Wish her well and tell her you look forward to catching up afterwards to see the photos.

[paap1975]

Just like her plans have changed for health reasons, so have yours. She needs to understand that. I think you might just have to be blunt and say it's not possible.

[Sunshinesmile123]

Thank you all for your advice. I think I will call her today and just be honest with her about the situation and how stressed out it's making me.

[MaggieMcSplash]

You have got nothing to feel bad about. Your hands are tied. You are a Mum. Your little boy comes first. Sorry you are going through this. I hope the treatment works and he pulls through. What a horrible thing to go through. Any friend would support you in by your child's side and not ask you to do anything for them even wedding stuff. Just be honest. You are totally right and she will understand than.