I realise this is going to be a difficult thing to ask as no one personally knows my DS and his quirks, but I was wondering if anyone can think of any other adjustments I might need to make to our day to ensure that everyone has as good a day as possible! Fwiw he is severely autistic, he'll be 12 at the time of the wedding.
Thoughts:
I really want to have candles/balloons as decorations at the venue but DS has a worrying love of fire so we're going to have to have those LED candles instead.
He also loves balloons and will probably try and steal any that arent tied down so I'm thinking of making a small bunch just for him that I'll give him as he walks in to distract him from all the others!
Flowers, he quite likes ripping the petals off (for some reason) so I think we'll have to have artificial ones to stop him ruining them. Ditto paper stuff, I want to make some paper hearts/bunting/pinwheels etc but will have to laminate them to stop him tearing them.
He will have his tablet/headphones etc to use as that is generally his favourite thing and keeps him calm and happy. I've shown him a picture of my dress and when I have some I'll do the same with the venue and other stuff so he'll have an idea of what to expect on the day and build up to it.
I can't think of anything else that we might have to do differently, anyone have any ideas or tips?
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Adjustments for disabled DS?
sharkirasharkira · 17/06/2018 19:23
Some great ideas here, thank you!
Venue is very far from where he lives so there won't be any opportunity to visit in advance unfortunately. He isn't capable of asking any questions.
We will be having buffet and BBQ type food, which he is very familiar with as we have them regularly so this shouldn't be a problem for him. Sometimes stealing other people's drinks is a problem but I'll try to make sure we have a special stash just for him so he won't need to take anyone else's.
I don't have to have balloons but I think the difficulties come when he wants one but can't have it. I think if he has his own he will be fine.
We will have disco and lights but he loves these, and dancing so that will probably be his favourite part of the day! We are going to try and have the ceremony late afternoon then go straight into the meal and party to make the day not quite so long.
He will have my parents there but I might ask his respite worker to come too, otherwise my parents might have to miss parts of the ceremony, etc to take him out if necessary. It will mostly be family but he is quite good with new people anyway.
He loves suits, bow ties and dressing up smart so he's very keen on that bit! He's already specified that he wants a 'yellow suit' when given the choice 
We are planning on having the ceremony at 5pm and then straight into the meal/evening do to try and minimise waiting around. Minimal time for photos. Will get him his own flowers though, I think that will go down well with him!
One of my main worries is what will happen during the ceremony/vows. He might insist on coming up there with me and get upset/scream when he isn't allowed to which will disturb everyone and be quite disruptive. If his respite worker can come then he can take him out but if not then one of my parents will have to take him out and end up missing bits of it 
No way to know until the day I suppose though, he might be fine!
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