Hi,
I recently got engaged to my bf of 3 years.
We have not discussed weddings at all and don't even have a rough date although I'm hoping it will be next year. It will be his second marriage and although he parted with his ex-wife on amicable terms (have a DD together) he's a little nervous about the whole thing.
We are both introverts and have anxiety about certain social situations. I have never wanted the whole "big day" lots of fuss lots of money spent all eyes on me thing. The thought of that makes me want to run for the hills, I'm very anxious and clumsy and would find it stressful walking down an aisle watched by a group of people. Also we don't have lots of money so something simple it will have to be. I don't think my parents would be able to contribute much and tbh I wouldn't feel comfortable asking. My brother got married last year and had a sizeable wedding, my parents helped out a little. My brother has a very good income so I was a bit hmm about that but would feel bad asking them to dip into their pensions to help me.
I live in Scotland but we're (very) long distance so it's possible that we might end up getting married elsewhere. We haven't even decided where we'll be living yet. To be honest I think we would both prefer to just elope to Vegas or something and get it over with but I don't think that would go down too well with my parents. I already asked them months ago (before we'd even gotten engaged) if they would be ok with that kind of thing and they were like yeah whatever but when I mentioned it again mum made a comment about us "not wanting their ugly mugs there" and I felt bad. I just want to be married with none of the wedding faffage.
On top of that, the one registry office nearby that we could have used has closed. A friend got married in there and it was a lovely room. There's another one in the next town but someone told me the room is pretty grim. I guess being in Scotland we could get married "anywhere" so could find a hill or something or some woods as long as we have a registrar? I just want no stress, very low cost ceremony. Maybe we could take some people out for lunch or something after.
There's also the issue of friends and so on who have invited me to their weddings. Would they be put out at not coming to mine? I guess we could maybe get married abroad and then have a party afterwards but I only have a small group of friends and small family so there would be about 20 people attending! Not exactly rock and roll. Also I have never even hosted a birthday party and am rubbish at making conversation at functions, preferring to sit in a corner and talk with a small group rather than "working the room" or whatever it is they do at weddings.
I'm stressing out about it already because people keep asking if we've made any decisions! I've hinted about eloping and nobody has said anything bad about it just "Ok" sort of thing.
Anyone else had this dilemma?
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Cheap tiny wedding or elopement?
9 replies
MissKrampus · 18/12/2017 12:21
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