How do you phrase(maybe) declining a wedding invite?

[RuggerHug]

This may seem like a stupid question but just trying to work out how to phrase it without offending or seeming like I'll be putting them out.

Wedding is July 1st, my due date is June 28th. So either I'll have a newborn or I'll be overdue. Newborn, won't be going. But if I haven't had the baby, I could be fine or could not want to move.

Wedding is 2 1/2 hour drive away. I'd love to say I'd go to the church to see the wedding and skip the reception (as I don't want them paying for 2 dinners that may not be eaten). I don't want to decline and see them at the church and maybe cause a bit of a panic and extra dinners being squeezed in because they think we're going to stay.

I'm rambling a bit now but is there a nice polite way of saying 'probably not, but maybe without needing to be fed'.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

I think what you have said is perfectly reasonable. Ring them and have a conversation about it?

[CaulkheadUpNorf]

Talk to them about it!

[ImperialBlether]

If you're overdue, you shouldn't really be travelling 2.5 hours each way, though. That could easily turn into longer if there are roadworks or an accident. You should stay nearer home. Just phone to explain.

[TheChineseChicken]

If it's 2.5 hours away I would say there's pretty much zero chance you will go even just to the ceremony. So just tell them it's too close to your due date. I don't think it needs to be more complicated than that as I'm sure they willl understand. I had a similar RSVP to my wedding from a friend

[NoParticularPattern]

I would decline and just explain your reasons. You can also say you'll be at the church- we've got a few who are doing that and also a few who are evening guests who are local enough to come to the church aswell!

They won't be pissed off if you decline, they might be if you get them to waste money on catering!

[newdaddie]

You have a genuine reason so just tell them. They probably expect it too but invited you to be polite and to respect your friendship.

[OlennasWimple]

Just tell them that unfortunately you will have to decline the invitation given its proximity to your due date. If you do end up being able to make it to the church (though please don't do this if you are overdue!!), surely you can just let them know the day before that you are planning to be there for the service, but not the reception?

[GreatBigPolarBear]

I'm fairly laid back but wouldn't be traveling that far if overdue.

[RuggerHug]

Ok this is all good, I was just a bit panic-y about the maybes I think. Didn't want to leave it to just getting in touch the day before because I imagine there will be a lot of running around last minute stuff (I think there's 400 invited!).

Thanks all

[Jooni]

Just say it's too close to due date and you can't make it! That's a more than valid reason not to travel 2.5 hours to a wedding 3 days after your due date!

You sound very considerate, but I think you're worrying over nothing. I'm sure the couple will understand and in all honesty probably won't be too personally invested in who is or isn't going unless you're really close friends or family, they'll just want to know numbers to sort catering etc. I'm due 16th June and have declined an invite to a wedding in Sept as it's no children and I don't want to leave a 2.5 month old. It's fine!

[disneykid]

I wouldn't be travelling 2.5 hours so close to my due date (especially overdue). We got invited to a wedding 2 days before my due date, and I said I would love to go but don't want to say yes incase something happened/ I had just given birth.

If you're prepared to (maybe) have the baby that far away then just call them and explain that you're happy to go but wouldn't be going if you have got a newborn. They will understand, you have a genuine reason.

[disneykid]

I'm assuming they know you're pregnant and must be due around that time anyway, so they should be fine with it.

[RuggerHug]

I think I have been misplacing my 'I have no idea what I'm getting into, it's all unknown' panic about this. Thanks she is a very close friend who I haven't really seen since she moved away last year so I would love to be there but it's not realistic at all I see now. Thanks again

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Just say - so sorry its on my due date. I won't be able to come but it'll be great to have a catch up after to introduce baby and so you can show me your pics and tell me all about the day!