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Advice needed - future mother in law crisis

(23 Posts)
amyj6 Mon 20-Jun-16 22:26:17

OK so ladies I need some advice. I'm getting married in 8 weeks and have just been told by my future sister in law/bridesmaid that while we are all away for my wedding, (78 members of family flying abroad for a week) my future husbands grandad is going to renew his vows.

I'm not supposed to know as my future mother in law is staying out there to be at their vow renewal and wanted to tell me herself. But times a ticking, and everybody else has been told but me and to put it lightly I'm fuming!

I think it is really disrespectful for him to do this to us and I feel betrayed by my in laws for booking extra hotel/flights and not telling me or considering my feelings. I'm very upset not because I want all eyes on me just that I think it shows how little he must think of us to do this at our special time.

I'm waiting to be told still and I want to shout and them all so I need some clarity. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Sorry for my rant. angry

grannytomine Mon 20-Jun-16 22:29:50

I'm not quite sure what is happening. Is your MIL going to your wedding and they staying wherever you are getting married to go to her father/father in laws renewal of vows. I think that is what you are saying, how does that affect you? Were you expecting her to travel back with you?

biscuitkumquat Mon 20-Jun-16 22:31:49

I'm confused. Is he renewing your vows at the same location you are?

WellDoYaPunk Mon 20-Jun-16 22:32:34

Your fil wants to piggyback your wedding & marry his fiancé while away ?

amyj6 Mon 20-Jun-16 22:38:26

My MIL is coming to our wedding and so is my FH grandad and wife but a few days after our wedding he is having a ceremony to renew his vows at a different location and my MIL is staying for it on her own. But no one has told me yet. I just think it's rude

Alicekeach Mon 20-Jun-16 22:43:09

But surely you'll be on your honeymoon by then, so why does it matter?

biscuitkumquat Mon 20-Jun-16 22:44:29

OP, I'm guessing you're getting married at this location because it's lovely, which is presumably why your Grandad in law to be, wants to do so too.

You might be justified being a bit peeved if he was renewing his vows before your ceremony & inviting all of the same people, but your wedding will already have happened, how is that stealing your thunder, and with the greatest of respect, it's really none of your business.

Go and enjoy your wedding, and try not to care about what others are doing days after your wedding.

gottachangethename1 Mon 20-Jun-16 22:44:41

I can't see how it impacts on your wedding?? You will be in honeymoon mode by then anyway. Let the old boy renew his vows in a lovely location, it doesn't take the shine off your day.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 20-Jun-16 22:46:36


grannytomine Mon 20-Jun-16 22:52:44

Why are you fuming? Your wedding will be over and other people can do what they want. How long before and after the wedding do you think is "your" time with restrictions on what other people can do. Get a grip.

MummaGiles Mon 20-Jun-16 22:56:09


SirNiallDementia Mon 20-Jun-16 23:01:08

I really can't see the problem TBH. You'll see your friends and family before, during and after your wedding (76 of them for a whole week). How much more attention do you want?!

Mookbark Mon 20-Jun-16 23:03:02



MilkTwoSugarsThanks Mon 20-Jun-16 23:06:28

Ooh - that was my first though too Mumma grin

HopeClearwater Mon 20-Jun-16 23:09:50


Lunar1 Mon 20-Jun-16 23:13:34

Your being a spoil sport, everyone is paying out a lot of money to travel. Why shouldn't a (presumably) elderly relative make the most of his holiday, after your wedding.

scarlets Tue 21-Jun-16 17:30:47

It will have no impact on you but it may be worth asking yourself why people seem to be afraid of telling you something so innocuous.

Whisky2014 Tue 21-Jun-16 17:35:46

Also not seeing the issue...

MustStopAndThinkBeforePosting Tue 21-Jun-16 19:25:35

Oh pleasepleaseplease let the location be Maui!

SmallBee Tue 21-Jun-16 19:30:11

So why are you annoyed? Is it because you and your fiancee haven't been invited to attend and now you'll miss it as you are on your honeymoon?

Or just that your the last to be told? (I hate being the last to find stuff out)

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Tue 21-Jun-16 19:34:52

I think it is safe to say your future MIL has completely the measure of you.

She hasn't mentioned it because she knows you will be a complete bridezilla about it.

Oblique27 Tue 21-Jun-16 19:37:05

Here you are - a grip

RusholmeRuffian Sat 25-Jun-16 20:35:37

Your definition of a crisis I can't see how this has any impact on your life or is any of your business.

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