My MIL organised a hen do for me then didn't turn up

[everygalaxy]

I'm not brave enough for AIBU but not sure if I should be feeling so annoyed! I had a wonderful hen weekend in Bath a few weeks ago organised by my super bridesmaids (it was perfect, so me and lots of fun) but STBMIL and SILs dropped out because they decided they didn't like the plans, they felt left out because my tastes are different to theirs and it was too far away (fair enough one SIL is heavily pregnant). Then MIL feels left out so books me another hen do in our home town so she can invite who she wants - this was on Saturday and on the day she decided she felt funny so had to go back to bed. STBDH went round to check on her (because he was worried) and it turns out she had gone out with her friends! SILs didn't turn up either.

Do I have any hope of a smooth wedding day? I fear that it all has to be about them?
We have had a few rows recently about how they are not included enough in the wedding plans and how my Mom is too involved and I'm 'too close' to my parents.
It is over shadowing my wedding excitement because I'm dreading seeing her on the day and having to act all happy families.

[ihatethecold]

Omg. I feel you you. Marrying into his family.
It's gonna be rocky.

[ScrambledSmegs]

Tbh it sounds as if it was done precisely to annoy you. Can you try to let it wash over you? You had a lovely hen do, so ignore the other one and MIL's behaviour.

Does your fiancé think she did it on purpose? What does he think about the other wedding related stuff? You really need to be a team for the day to run smoothly.

Also, weddings never run smoothly. Something always goes wrong. Accept it and let it go - you'll have a great day!

[SuperFlyHigh]

Hang on a sec your MIL books in another hen do in your home town so she can invite who she wants?! Totally OOO.

Whose hen do is it exactly?

My BIL (SIL's brother is that now BIL) was getting married, his DF had her hen do, I'd have loved to have gone but she has lots of friends and I wasn't invited. TBPH I was p*ssed off and if I get married I may not invite her (tit for tat?!) but I'm over it now. But it was HER hen do to invite who she wanted, not mine, to invite who I wanted!

[SuperFlyHigh]

On the one hand I'd ignore but on the other hand I'd stick up for myself and my family (but I'm a diva and like to get my own way anyway).

[SuperFlyHigh]

OMG just reread - she'd gone out with her friends? sorry words fail me. Can you spike her drink at the wedding or something?!

[everygalaxy]

We actually had a really good time at the one she organised (then ditched!), The venue gave us a private room, my lovely Aunties and old housemates came along and my Grandad paid for cocktails

STBDH is actually her step son (you can tell - he is lovely) - she used to be nice to me, but her and her daughters are VERY high maintenance, but since the wedding planning kicked in it has all gone a bit weird and competitive STBDH is not impressed but is trying to keep the peace and keep her on side up to the wedding. To complicate matters further SIL is due to give birth on our wedding day!

You really couldn't make it up some of things they do - I feel like I live in a soap opera - SILs are ex Miss England contestants and one has a new much older millionaire husband!

[scratchandsniff]

Ignore them. Enjoy YOUR day and have it just as you and your DP want it. They'll have to suck it up. Then keep them at arms length.