The Dress

[AbsDuWolef]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

Is all I have to say. I love clothes, I love fashion, and as lame as this is, I've always looked forward to having a chance to choose a fabulous swooshy dress, and now aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. We've found the venue, the caterer and pretty much sorted ALL of that out (they include buttloads of stuff in the quote, like flowers, waiting staff so we don't need to worry about that), the photographer, the music etc etc

I think I must have looked at about 20 million dresses (online and in magazines). I've found The Dress FOUR times now. Only to decide a week later it's not The Dress and go back to the drawing board. I swing between wanting something lacy, to going back to something simple and elegant. The ONLY THING I've managed to decide is that I don't want a meringue, but every now and then I'm all "hm, something bigger would be nice".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Rant over.

[ViolaTricolor]

I could have written every word of your post. Instead I'll just repeat one of them:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

And maybe once more:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

[fit2drop]

How about picking out the best details of the dresses you liked and have it made to your own specifications.
not much help and Im sure you have already thought of that.

What I will say is you will know, once its on you will just know and won't even bother trying others on , so those four were not the one, because you were happy to try others on after them , and when its THE ONE , trying others will not even be an option
GOOD LUCK

[AbsDuWolef]

Thank you! Man, it's got so bad I have asked DP for advice. His advice was "wow, wedding dresses are expensive. I'm glad I just need to get a suit"

[melodyangel]

AbsDuWolef - Best not take your DP to a tailors then. I made that mistake his suit cost 5 x my dresses (I had two) Although I went off the peg, in the sale and ebay.

Congratulations!

Oh and we will be wanting pictures please.

[emsyj]

What sort of thing do you normally wear? Choose something that reflects your own style.

When I was shopping, I tried on a huge pouffy powder pink Ian Stuart number and loved it - it was swooshy silk with a sort of net overlay thing that had little bits of ribbon on it. Sounds vile, but was amazing.

BUT I knew it just wasn't reflective of me, so I resisted and chose something simple - a 50s style dress, ballerina length, slash neck & cap sleeves - quite plain by bridal standards, but I felt very comfortable on the day and it was the right choice.

What sort of designers/styles do you like? I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of wedding dresses so may have some suggestions for you...?

[emsyj]

Oh, also should add - there is such a thing as elegant AND lacy... if that floats your boat. And you never know what 'the dress' will look like until you try it on. I looked like an idiot in what I thought from internet searching was my 'dream dress' - was gutted!

Have you tried any Jenny Packham? They are sort of fancy but evening gown-y...?

[billgrangersrisotto]

I think all the choice is overwhelming. How about picking a designer you like, seeing where stocks them nearby and then booking an appointment with the shop? Start from there - it's different seeing them in magazines to actually trying them on, I think. I like Augusta Jones and Justin Alexander (if you're interested!!).

[TrillianAstra]

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=vile+wedding+dress&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1AFAB_en-GBGB441GB442&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbnid=DLtgM-Dr-Hp1GM:&imgrefurl=www.mirror.co.uk/tv-entertainment/columnists/kevin-osullivan/2011/05/01/gypsy-weddings-get-the-royal-treatment-115875-23097944/&docid=CMs5Ad843-8wHM&w=610&h=396&ei=LURfTsW1Bsmq8QPv8aW0Aw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=671&vpy=225&dur=14&hovh=181&hovw=279&tx=165&ty=81&page=3&tbnh=143&tbnw=191&start=41&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:41" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">How about this?

[AbsDuWolef]

Thanks Ladies (apart from Trillian )

I think I may have decided on something last night (after muchos hand wringing and frantic looking at magazines). I'm going to a bridal shop in two weeks, so will helpfully get some ideas. There's TOO MUCH CHOICE.

[TrillianAstra]

It's amazing how many permutations of "pale or white long-ish dress" there can be.

[AbsDuWolef]

Seriously, it's doing my head in. If I see one more full-skirted, corseted strapless gown I'm going to lose it. And it would appear that that is what 90% of wedding dresses are. It's a travesty - what about those who can't/shouldn't (thinks of cousin) wear strapless gowns? Hm?

[ViolaTricolor]

I've been quite grateful to be able to discount a full 90% so rapidly, because that's not what I want. But choosing even from the remaining 10% is rather vexing.

[emsyj]

I look really old and haggard in strapless - I said this to a woman in a bridal shop and she sneered and said that was ridiculous, but when I put a strapless wedding dress on and showed her, she was and had to admit it was a very ageing look on me.

I had my dress made in the end as I couldn't find what I wanted anywhere. That is always an option? I wanted a slash neck style and they are very hard to find.

I sell 1950s style (repro) wedding dresses so if anyone wants that style, let me know and I'll give you a discount!

[VenetiaLanyon]

I feel your pain, having tried on every dress that ever there was, but have now found The One

The grave error you're making is to carry on looking after you have chosen; I have now put out my own eyes with hot irons to prevent this happening.

Top tip was that you need to choose 3 words to describe your wedding, and then everything needs to fit e.g. contemporary, bohemian, romantic etc; can you do this, and does one of The Four fit....?

[ViolaTricolor]

Venetia. The three words which describe my wedding are 'it's in October' .

[wineandcheese]

I feel your pain.

Two of the best pieces of advice I was given when I was trying to find a dress were:

1. There are squillions of options. Your choice doesn't have to be The Best Choice In The Entire World Ever. Just a Good Choice.
   
   
2. Think about the shapes of dress you usually favour. E.g. do they pull you in at the waist? Are they full or narrow skirted? Are they sleeveless or not? Find a dressmaker to make you a beautiful dress in that shape and in a lovely fabric.

[emsyj]

If you want someone to make you a dress, I can recommend Joanne Fleming in Brighton. She is lovely and charges very very reasonable prices - and she can make anything.

[ViolaTricolor]

I think that's what I should have done, emsyj. I reckon I don't have time now so will have to stick with the Monsoon dress I like, but which really doesn't excite me.

[emsyj]

Hum, well it depends how long you've got - Joanne, for example, normally asks for 4 months from initial meeting to finish, but it is getting away from wedding peak season now so you might find someone with capacity to make you something. I remember Jo saying to me that October was a quiet month (as that's when I went for my first appointment). She got a lot busier from the new year.

If your wedding is 2 weeks away then you're probably out of luck, but if it's 6 weeks or more it's worth a try if you are really not that excited about your dress.

[ViolaTricolor]

I've written to a dressmaker I know, just so I know I've explored the option at least. The wedding is at the very end of the month. I really waver. Sometimes I think the Monsoon one is lovely, and I never wanted to spend loads. We only got engaged in August, so 4 months was never an option! wineandcheese makes a good point about it needing to be a Good Choice, not the Best Dress in the World Ever.

[Tillyscoutsmum]

Good point about it not needing to be the Best Dress in the World Ever. I personally found THE ONE to be bollocks. I'm far too self critical to ever be able to put a dress on and look in the mirror and think I look amazing. There will always be a but.... I've probably tried dozens of dresses on which would have been just fine and made me look about as good as I'm ever going to

[SnakeOnCrack]

Oo not long now! (just to add the pressure). Pick one of the ones you have previously loved.. the one you feel most comfortable and "yourself" in.. don't PANIC!

I knew from the start the sort of dress I wanted so was lucky in that regard.

[GetOrfMoiSamsungFridgeFreezer]

Abs you are so right re strapless dress hideousness.

Good luck with it - I love shopping for clothes but the ghastliness of the people who own wedding dress shops would put me right off.

[AbsDuWolef]

i'm back!

I have some appointments coming up, so any recommendations on what to do? I am taking my DM and SIL along as advisors (deep breath). I have had my legs waxed so they don't mistake me for a gorilla and I have new knickers, as I thought the shop assistants would get jealous if I wore my Wonder Woman knickers (was sorely tempted though). I'm printing off a bunch of pictures of stuff I like (as I'll probably have to get the dress altered) and I have told DM and SIL about the style of dresses I like.

What else?