Ideas wanted... to stop my mother going on about weaning

[Blondeinlondon]

I was given solids at 11 weeks and ever since DS reached 3 mths my mother has been talking about giving him solids.

DS is now 5 mths and I want to wait til at least 6 mths, possibly longer, before introducing solids.

How can I get her to shut up about this without upsetting her?

[hunkermunker]

Tell her if she doesn't mention it again, she can be the first one to offer him food. If you don't mind, that is!

[Turtle35]

try explaining the benefits of waiting, they are much less prone to allergies if you wait and I have also been told that there liver could be damaged? if you wean before 17 weeks as they can't digest and break down food even if it is the baby rice. Also as I am having such a tough time with my 8 month old, trust me wait as LONG as possible!!

[spursmum]

no advice as such...just my experience. My mum started giving my ds solids at 2 months!! and without consulting me!!! Told my mother that i didnt need her advice or opinion any more as i had my own life and i will do what is best for my son. Also told her that she was not to do anything without my permission. (me and my mum just dont get on..more since she told me i was a mistake!!) sorry about the no advice but my mum tinks she knows best till i put her straight!!

[bobbybob]

Don't worry solids is the 3-4 month question.

At six months you will get "is he sitting, has he got teeth?"

I did HM suggestion and it worked a treat.

She will stop eventually anyway - my mum has given up on talking about bfing and toilet training completely.

[chicagomum]

could you perhaps massage her ego by saying she did such a good job of raising you that surely she can see that you are capable of making parenting descisions yourself?

[hanginginthere]

And try getting her to talk about what they advised when you were young - distraction therapy and also, she might just realise things have changed!

[hunkermunker]

Yes, talk about slinging carrycots into the back of cars, putting to sleep on fronts, doctors offering cigarettes to celebrate pregnancy confirmation, etc...

Then say "oh, look, over there, a badger with a gun!" and then run in the other direction

[Chuffed]

what about just showing the the advice book about the signs he should be showing ie. interest in food, getting hungrier, not seeming as satisfied etc. Then you can show her that you have listened to her advice but that you are also listening to other advise and doing what you think is right.

[acnebride]

I wouldn't worry about trying to convince her early weaning carries risks. Just laugh - say 'yes, poor old ds, he can't wait to get his gnashers into a steak' or 'yes, I want to save on his clothes, I'm determined to keep him on gruel until he's 30' and otherwise ignore it. You're doing the right thing for you both, you know it and that's all that matters.

[acnebride]

PS friend told me about her mother's early edition of Dr Spock where it says to relax before a breastfeed by having a cigarette. So that's where I was going wrong.

[edam]

No, Acnebridle, really? Guffaw! Must tell my mum that one.

[saadia]

Just tell her that the guidelines now are that babies shouldn't be weaned before 6mths.

[eldestgirl]

Oh yes Bobbybob, don't mothers go on?
Apparently I was given potato and gravy at 8 weeks or something and potty trained at 18 months (yawn)....
I think giving your mum some reading material which contains current best advice is a very good idea.

[oliveoil]

Well I was told between 4 - 6 months is best for weaning, yes yes I know that the guide says 6 months. But if you wait later then 6 months you risk them refuses to eat solids.

[koalabear]

oo - i was told the "don't wait past 6 mth" thing too, due to risk of refusal

[koalabear]

back to original question - the technique i employ on my MIL is to say "oooo, that's a thought" and then ignore it entirely and carry on, so our entire conversation is her say "you should do x, you should do y, i can't believe your doing z", and me saying "ooo, that's a thought", "thanks for that", "thanks for the suggestion", "there's a thought", etc etc etc

she eventually stops

[bobbybob]

Risk of refusal if you wait longer than 6 months - a total myth. Some babies can't or don't eat at 7 or 8 months and are fine. They are all eating when they start school!

Weaning advice used to be nearer a year in the 1920s and they presumably didn't refuse food when it was offered.

[morningpaper]

Ring NHS Direct and ask them if they've got any leaflets about this specifically for Grandparents. I'm sure I've seen something.

[hunkermunker]

Dr Spock's full of great advice - the edition I saw said "Don't use lead nipple shields". Bugger, I was hankering to do just that too!!!

OO, no truth to babies weaned later not accepting solids, as Bobbybob says. Makes it much easier, IMO! They can eat a range of food a four-month-old can't - which is yet another reason to leave it longer.

[Mojomummy]

MIL had DH on farleys at 13 weeks & she thought I should do the same to DD. She also told DH "you can have too much of a good thing" referring to BF at 5 mths !!!

What is it with MIL's ??

Maybe ask her why she thinks it's so important & what the benefits are. That usually shuts them up

[Blondeinlondon]

Thanks for all your comments.
Saying this is the advice from GP or HV won't wash as she considers them clueless. Published peer reviewed medical research journal would work but I can't face looking for stuff. Too lazy.

Thankfully I seem to have got across to my mother that she is not to feed DS anything without permission but I still get "oooh he's looking at the banana, he wants some"

[hunkermunker]

Can you say "Ooh, he's looking at the car, he wants driving lessons"? Or "he's looking at my book, perhaps he wants to learn to read"?!

[bobbybob]

"he's looking at that girl - maybe he wants to have a girlfriend"

"he's looking at that plug socket, maybe he'd like to stick his finger in it"