This is getting silly...ds2 is much too THIN and won't eat anything.

[Jumente]

He's just two and in contrast to his brother, who by this time was guzzling large quantities of milk in a bottle and has never really been 'slim', his little ribs are starting to show and he only wants to breastfeed, or will on occasion eat crisps, a plain biscuit, or a small piece of fruit. He doesn't want yogurt any more, which he ate consistently for several months, won't go near bread, potato, anything else really - I am starting to worry and would also like to stop bfing.

Please can anyone suggest how to get some proper food down him. He won't have milk at all apart from mine...tried different formulas and even hot chocolate (cold or warm) but no joy. HELP.

[Jumente]

Yes, I could I suppose but the howls that would ensue would be overwhelming I think!! He's so determined, I think it might be the only way though.

[Jumente]

Ah maybe. That's a thought. I did try and have a look in his mouth the other day but he wasn't keen!! Will have a proper look.

Thanks.

[Jumente]

He currently seems taken with a bowl of raisins and sunflower seeds, so that is something I suppose!

[BlueBumedFly]

How about a snack box that he can choose what he wants. We had to do this for DD who ate practically nothing until 16 months. I filled the box with things like cheese, crackers, fruit purée sachets, raisins, bananas, rice cakes etc and each time added something new. She would sit with the box and choose 2 or 3 things and if she ate half of it then it was a victory. The key was she was making the decisions herself. She is now 2.2, very tall and slim and eats just enough to sustain her ever moving lifestyle. She eats no carbs other than bread but loves most meats and veggies.

Also I cooked the AK chicken balls with apple, I also add in cougettes and they end up as burgers that she picks up and munches happily. I know that they have all food groups in (they also contain breadcrumbs) so I am happy. Also do lamb and red pepper ones.

With regard to BF I think you need to stop cold turkey and bear the pain for a few days. No healthy child every starved themselves knowingly but some of us have kids who have to make all food choices themselves.

How about dry cereal like cheerios? Inch square bits of toast? I use a bunny rabbit cookie cutter for DD for toast, she loves it! How about a train or bear cutter?

If he is anything like my de you need to leave the food and walk away..... Bless them!!

[Jumente]

Some fabulous ideas here...thankyou for taking the time. I think my problem is lack of effort - I need to be determined as he is, and just try harder with offering lots of different things so he feels he has the choice but each choice is potentially a decent one!

Thankyou very much. I needed this to kick start the proper weaning. It is about time!

[Littlefish]

He doesn't need milk (I mean cow's milk), so don't stress about that. He could get his calcium from green leafy veg, yoghurt, cheese etc. However, it does sound like he might have a small appetite, and is filling up on breastmilk, rather than food. How many times does he breastfeed a day? Could you start by limiting breastfeeding to the beginning and end of a day? It depends on whether you want to go down that route or not.

[FAQinglovely]

"No healthy child every starved themselves knowingly"

I disagree - my DS1 is a healthy child - but he still refused to eat anything when he was 2yrs old and we were having eating issues with him. We made it to 7 days with only a few ounces of weak squash each day, no other food or drink before I gave up.

I would go with the advice on going cold turkey on the BF though and TBH I think my DS1 is just a bit of an oddity

[Littlefish]

Sorry - just re-read your op and have seen that you want to stop breastfeeding. I really should read more carefully!

[BlueBumedFly]

FAQ - goodnes me, that must have been desperately stressful for you.

[Jumente]

Well I would go that route Littlefish, but it's how to limit it that I can't get my head around. I went cold turkey with ds1 as soon as he could happily drink milk from a bottle (I know, not ideal) at 16mo. At that point I reasoned he had a substitute, he needed that and a cuddle and was fine...this one won't accept a substitute in the same way.

I've tried saying no and it works a few times before he starts getting seriously upset. Tried it a few times at night, walking round carrying him, he was hysterical - so gave up on that. He uses it to get to sleep, for his nap, and at night, and when he is hungry. Several times a day, basically. It's so lax of me and so difficult to find a way out of - for instance I don't have a partner who could have him for a day or just at bedtime, to get him off to sleep or used to going without it. There's nobody available to ask to do that.

I need to be determined we're stopping, and just keep saying no and ride the protests, really.

[Jumente]

Thanks PT, I appreciate your efforts!! No father around either...it's literally just me, and occasionally my parents take them for an appointment or such. I've asked mum before if she'd have him for a longer spell than usual (maybe a few hours) but she wasn't keen.
So we'll just have to wing it. I'm sure with a bit more effort from me it'll be fine

[Jumente]

Oh no please don't apologise - you weren't to know, and it was a good idea.

Yes, I do love bfing him and it has so many pluses, but I think for both our sakes it's probably time to quit! Have managed to get some Linda McCartneys pie down him just now, but he's going to sleep on the boob as we speak

Ho hum, one step at a time...

[tiktok]

Jumente, this must be hard for you

It is not true that healthy children won't starve themselves - well, they don't starve to the point of needing medical treatment (usually) but behavioural issues can and do get the better of nutritional ones, and toddlers can suffer from a poor diet in the midst of plenty and with loving families who just want them to eat

I wonder if this is something you need specialist help with? Stopping breastfeeding seems to me a drastic step - you could seriously reduce his nutrition as well as upsetting him and you. Starting a plan to reduce and then stop is different and there are many ways to do this. Alongside this, ways to encourage him to eat a bit more can be supported with good advice from a dietitian or psychologist with a special interest in toddlers who dont eat well.

Your HV should know of services in your area. There are some quite good books for parents on this topic, too.

[BlueBumedFly]

OK, sorry, bad comment on my part, just what I was always told when my DD only gained 1lb in a whole year. I withdraw it. Apologies if it has upset anyone.

[nappyaddict]

will he eat ice cream, cheese, pasta, rice?