6 months and won't eat anything

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

I don't know what to do about my DD, she won't eat anything at all other than drinking her formula. Still gaining weight and doing wet/ dirty nappies but my hv team are getting annoyed because she hasn't started eating any solids. I've tried everything I can think of so please throw any suggestions you have my way, short of giving up and crying in the corner I just don't know what to try.
We started of trying home made puree's, she's allergic to dairy so I thought it would be easier if I made them because I would know what was going into them. Tried carrot, parsnip, broccoli, pear, apple, banana, butternut squash, swede, cabbage, cauliflower, potato, sweet potato, blended rice, blended porridge (all with or without some of her formula added).
She screams at any attempt to give her any of these with a spoon so I tried giving her some in a bowl to let her play with in the hopes some ends up in her mouth, she just took to throwing the bowl away and screaming every time it was put infront of her.
Bought some baby porridge (found 2 without dairy added) she wont have it, tried baby rice and some jars of food, nope same reaction. Mushy rusks, nope.
Read about baby led weaning so I tried giving her some of the above veggies and fruits steamed and in small pieces, she'll put them in her mouth, grimace, start screaming and throw them away.
I've tried when she's hungry, after she's had half a bottle, when she's been playing for a while, morning lunchtime, evenings.
She's reaching for the food on her dads plate so I put some steamed veggies on there that he could let her have off his plate in the hopes she would try. Same reaction.

I literally have no idea what to try next, anyone any ideas? I just feel like a really shit mom right now

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Relax. Give it a couple of weeks and try again.

Some babies take to food later than others she has milk she will be fine

[BikeRunSki]

Relax, try again in a few weeks. DD wasn't bothered until she was 8 months old, then went furvit with BLW.

(TBH, DS is still not bothered about food at 8).

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Weaning can be really tough but please try to relax a little about this, it's your job to offer food, at 6 months it's totally up to her if she eats it or not and it's unfair of your HVs to put pressure on you.

I'm DF too, it's tough thinking if things prepare at first but it does get easier.

She's reaching for the food on her dads plate so I put some steamed veggies on there that he could let her have off his plate in the hopes she would try. Same reaction.. Is there a reason she is only being given fruit, veg and porridge? This is what you would normally offer to a much younger baby when Weaning. What was DH eating and why couldn't she have it? At 6 months she should be able to eat pretty much what you eat, as long as it's DF.

My DD hated the spoon and the high chair, I had to abandon the spoon pretty quickly and go with food she could feed herself. Moving the high chair and putting them in it with a toy, seems to stop the association with the stress of eating. Another thing that worked for me was sitting DD on my lap while I ate lunch. She'd play for a bit but usually end up eating some of the things.

If it were me, I'd not offer her anything for a couple of days, try to eat when she's not around or if you are eating, make sure it's DF and if she asks for some, then she can have some. This give you both chance to relax a little.

After that, stick her in the high chair, give her something to play with and let her watch you doing something else like washing up, or cut the grass. This should help take the negative association away.

Remember at 6 months, she only really needs to be offered solids once a day, and it doesn't even have to be every day. Just make sure she has a good vitamin supplement.

Sone things you could try her with are:

Breakfast: sausage cut lengthways with baked beans or blueberry pancakes made with almond milk.

Lunch: tuna sandwich with sticks of cucumber or omelette.

Dinner: Spag Bol, fish pie, toad in the hole, roast dinner. All of which can be made DF and all of which you can all eat together

Let me know who you get on

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

Thankyou for replying, my hv was adamant I couldn't offer her anything other than formula till she was six months and that I shouldn't be offering meat or dairy etc until she had gotten used to eating veg, porridge and fruit hence why we didn't just let her have some of her dads dinner. If she can actually have these then if she goes for his dinner again we'll just let her try a bit if she will actually eat it.
She loves her high chair, she'll sit in it for hours with her toys playing happily while I wash up, cook, do laundry and just generally potter round the kitchen she is just Jekyll and Hyde in that the second food is put in front of her she starts screaming and throwing tantrums. I thought maybe it was because the whole thing was stressing me out and she was picking up on it so I got her dad to try (so laid back he's horizontal 90% of the time) and she did the same to him.
Dairy free actually doesn't worry me too much because my mom and dbro both are so I'm used to having to cook that way, I just thought home cooked would be easier df than shop bought.

I think I might just give her a couple of weeks as suggested before I try again. I know it means the hv will be shouting at me again on Monday but this can't be doing either of us any good.

[LittleBearPad]

Ignore your HV. Can you sit her on your lap whilst you eat your lunch and see if she grabs any.

Don stress - she'll eat sooner or later.

[LittleBearPad]

Also you don't have to see your health visitor if she's so unhelpful (or at all!)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

The advice your HV is giving you seems odd at best. If she says anything like this to you again, I've always thought statements like this work well "that's really interesting, I'd love to read more about that, can you tell me where I can read the research please?" That should shut her up as there's no research to back up what's she's telling you!

It's good that she's usually relaxed in the high chair. Have you tried just sticking the food on her tray rather than a bowl? Messy, but yiu could always put her in a long sleeved bib and put a shower curtain on the floor.

I'd have a look in your library to see if they have this book by Gill Ripley. Unlike your HV's advice, this book is actually based on research.

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

My hv keeps threatening social services involvement if we don't go to the hellish group once a month to get her weighed and update on how DD is doing because she had weight gain problems when she was tiny due to her having issues with dairy and us not knowing. No issues with her weight now I hasten to add!
My hv keeps sending me here when I ask for the weaning advice written down so that I can get it properly into my head to follow it and that's the only place she will send me.
Mess doesn't bother me, the floor is vinyl and clothes can be washed/ baby bathed so I'll try just putting the food on her tray doesn't work with finger foods but maybe she'll be more interested in something she can mush round everywhere?
Thankyou for the book recommendation we are going into town later so I'll see if they have it in the library.
I know I am getting far too stressed over the whole thing, I have mh issues of my own which I'm under various people for so I'm sorry if I don't make sense/sound deranged.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Ignore the frickin health visitor

Dd1 was eating three meals by 5 months.

Dd2 barely touched food til 8/9 months.

Shes going to be 6m from now til 29 days later. Its not compulsory at midnight 5m and 29 days that they start eating.

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

JiltedJohnsJulie she ate a baked bean off my plate when I had beans on toast for a late lunch!!! (df ones I have in incase of visiting family) I hadn't thought she might be allowed things off our plates till you said but I think you have cracked it. Ridiculously excited over a single baked bean but after a couple of weeks of trying it feels massive. I'll just make sure what we have for teas is suitable and let her take some if she's interested.
Giles I'm sorry if I annoyed you I only posted about the hv to explain why I wasn't avoiding her completely and what 'research' she claims to be following.

[loverlybunchofcoconuts]

This is what you would normally offer to a much younger baby when Weaning. What was DH eating and why couldn't she have it? At 6 months she should be able to eat pretty much what you eat, as long as it's DF.
I'm not sure why this advice is being offered as 'fact', its out of date, and disagrees with current advice (which is not to start weaning until 6 months). Hopefully a mum who had DCs some time ago, and not a health care worker!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh you didn't annoy me

I was annoyed reading about what she was putting you all through babies don't read manuals tehy don't know they are supposed to instantly be ready for a banquet aged 6m sometimes it takes time and there's nothing wrong with that. She's far too focused on fact books and doesn't appear to he seeing you have a happy healthy baby who just wants to leave food for a bit.

Im.so sorry she's stressing you out so much it's really unfair of her. Sounds like dd2 would have been removed from my care cos she was happy munching on a piece if toast or gumming the odd strawberry for weeks before she "got" meals

for you and baby if she wants a bite

[Gileswithachainsaw]

And funnily enough dd2 was cmpi so I think she was probabky so happy at not feeling crap when we got the kresvriotuon formula and she was wary of food. I guess they kind of "proceed with caution" when they are used to being in pain from eating

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Prescription

Ffs phone

[McGintyii]

My DD is 6mo and is showing absolutely no signs of wanting food at all. I'm sure it'll happen soon, my HV was quite helpful and just said it'll happen when they are ready, I think just have a break and try not to stress, she will get there eventually

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

Loverly DD is 6 months now so right or wrong I've stuck to the guidelines and she wasn't offered solids till 6 months
Giles glad I didn't annoy you, our HV team are ridiculous, believe it or not this hv is much better than my original who had me hoovering 1.5 weeks post c-section. I had a whole thread about them and my issues when dd was younger and everyone was lovely and incredibly helpful then aswell.
I did wonder about her being wary because of the pain her food used to cause her, my dbro has a lot of issues surrounding food because of his allergies as a kid. Even now (19) he will say he doesn't want to try something new incase it makes him ill "like it used to".
McGinytii I'm glad some hv aren't like this! I'm wondering was SS would say if she did refer me from the response I've had on here!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I'd be inclined to lie next time tbh.

It's such early days there is no reason to suspect that there are going to be any problems and if in two or three months things aren't progressing or her weight is dropping you can 're visit things then. But chances are she will just get it one day.

To have you so stressed is ridiculous.

[loverlybunchofcoconuts]

keeps threatening social services involvement if we don't go to the hellish group once a month to get her weighed and update on how DD is doing
It doesn't seem unreasonable for the HV to want her weighed once a month tbh, especially if she had problems early on. Surely you could make an excuse and leave the group after 20 mins if its not ur cup of tea? But I suspect she wants the weighing, because IF there was an eating/ weight gain problem at any point, she would be asked why she didn't check that the child was gaining weight for months.

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

Shes weighed and measured at the children's hospital once a month by her consultant who she has to see because of the dairy issues, I have no issues at all with them wanting to weigh her and completely understand the need to keep an eye, I just don't know why the hv can't take the paediatric consultants word that she is gaining weight at an acceptable rate. Just seems heavy handed to threaten me with ss if I don't also attend a baby group. It's humiliating and stressful being shouted at because dd won't eat solids, and isn't rolling over (she is sitting completely unaided and will pull herself to her feet and stand holding onto something) in front of a room full of women I don't know when the consultant is over the moon with her development and growth and I have loads of letters from them to prove that point.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Can you switch Drs?

This all sounds so ridiculous. She's seen regularly by a consultant you don't need to see the HV at all and she sure as hell should not be shouting because a baby won t eat some food when she's only just started weaning anyway.

Social workers also have better things to do than see happy healthy well looked after babies seen regularly by a consultant based on a developmental stage you have no control over

This cannot be being done with actual approval from team managers?

It's absolutely unacceptable

[SheepyFun]

She sounds a bit like my DD - for added fun, if I did get any food in her mouth while she wasn't concentrating, she'd try to spit it out, and if that failed, vomit it out - a full milk vomit from her previous feed. She wouldn't touch food initially, and was violent if I tried to feed her. One week at 11 months she vomited every single time we tried solids. No allergies as far as we know.

It's been a long road - DD is now 4, and only in the last 6 months has she started getting the majority of her calories from solids (rather than milk). We had dietitians involved at one point, who basically said, don't give her milk for 3 hours, then she'll be keener. Nursery tried that when she went at 3 (2 years after the advice) and it still didn't work - she rejected most meals, and still rejects a fair fraction of nursery options. She eats a limited range of foods, but the range is slowly increasing - it's a texture issue for her; she'll (now!) eat most veg pureed, but only broccoli and sweetcorn intact.

I'd be surprised if your DD has weight problems, as milk is more calorie dense than vegetable puree. My DD reached the 91st centile at 1 year, and was almost spherical! She sat at 6 months, but didn't roll, and only crawled at 12 months (after which her weight plateaued). I'm happy to answer more questions if you have them!

[LoveMyLittleSuperhero]

I live in the arse end of nowhere, our local hv team cover the whole town and surrounding villages sadly. I might see if my MH worker (who visits me and DD at home weekly) will come with me to see the health visitors and get them to back off a little. I did think I should genuinely be worried about DDs weaning the way the hv was acting but if I'm not then I think I need some back up to get her to calm down a little. DD is 17.8lbs btw and up in the 80s on her centile lines so not a tiny baby.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Love oh that's good news!

Loverly really don't understand why you highlighted my comment or what you said.

[Lyn29]

Try not to worry,my dd didn't take an extra into solid food until she was 7/8 months.she just wanted my boobs all the time!!!now she is 5 and is eating everything in sight.the only thing that did work with her though was baby led weaning.

[BreatheDeep]

If you're seeing a consultant once a month and your MH worker once a week, just stop seeing the HV. It's not compulsory. I'd even say it's fairly irrelevant in your situation. Just explain you have enough help and advice from a more qualified person than an HV

It's completely normal for a baby to not eat solids straight away at 6 months. There's a saying 'food before one is just for fun'. I don't 100% agree with that but food at 6 months is definitely for fun and learning, not nourishment.