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DS 9m doesn't know when he is hungry and neither do I

(22 Posts)
Thaleia Tue 05-Feb-13 11:17:22

This sounds silly, I know but .... I don't think my child is ever hungry and that's the reason he puts on so much weight which now becomes a concern!

He shows no signs of being hungry, not crying, not going for boobs no nothing. But if I offer, he's going for it like he was starving. He was on the 25th perc and is now on the 75th, so clearly, he is putting the lbs on.

He wakes up at 5am and I bf him, I could settle him but it's too hard before we move and he's having his own room. I could give him nothing before lunch at noon but breastfeed him at around 9.30am. After lunch, again, if I would not offer a breastfeed at around 3.30/ 4pm he would not go for it, dinner is at 6am and one more breastfeed at around 6.45pm before bed.

Again the amount he has for lunch - if I offer, he eats 2 pouches (= 260gr) plus a fruit pot, maybe more but I have never tried. But if I offer just 1 pouch and a bit of fruit he's fine too! We only have ready food on the go, I cook myself and I have reduced it from 200gr to 150gr, because of the weight gain.

For dinner we do a porridge, 180ml and it's quite solid, so not runny or soup but more like a pudding plus a fruit pot.

He's eating all that and again, if I'd offered more, he'd eat more.

On the other hand: everytime we eat or I eat, he's crying out for it and wants to have some of it too. Which means, I kind of eat in secret or he get's a a bit of orange or bread or salad ... .

I'm just so unrelaxed about it all, if he'd not put on so much weight, I wouldn't care but the HV it's not good that he went up almost 3 percentiles and I agree. He looks like a chunk and he is fat.

I don't know what to do, shall I just not feed him? He is not hungry unless offered?


SwivelHips Tue 05-Feb-13 11:25:20

Is he ever sick Thaleia? My DS is 8mths is a wee chunk (91st centile) and loves his food

OhMyNoReally Tue 05-Feb-13 11:26:10

I think going from my dc, he should be having 3 meals a day. Family meals so whatever your having on a small plate or bowl, and then a pudding or yoghurt/fruit pot and 2 snacks. Plus boob and water when's he's not having boob. I don't limit breakfast but I would stop boob at 9.30 and give him water but small breakfast may means he needs the boob. Hope this is helpful. Maybe go back to hv and get a meal plan from her, see what she suggests. All the best and weight should be in relation to height. So if your ds is 75th or above for height he will be in proportion if yswim. My 31 month old ds is 98th for height and 91st for weight so he's a giant. My others are more average. Hope this helps a bit. smile

Thaleia Tue 05-Feb-13 13:06:20

He's on the 25th for length sad
Yes, he should be on 3 meals a day plus snacks but as he eats in 2 meals as much as other babies eat all day in solids, I don't think that helps to slow his weight gain.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 05-Feb-13 14:04:10

Am I reading his routine right? Is he having bfs until lunch when he has one or two pouches and then porridge for tea? Is it the same every day?

Thaleia Tue 05-Feb-13 14:16:29

Yes, same routine everyday, not the same food though.
2 x bf in the morning
bf late afternoon)
porridge (also not always same, sometimes oat, spelt, semolina ...)

as I said, he's eating as well when I eat in front of him so he might have some bran flakes or a bit of bread but not everyday and not a lot

I am just confused - why is he not signalling that he wants food and why isn't he stopping when he gets it?

And no, baby is the least sick person in this house. And no vomit either (anymore)

WandaDoff Tue 05-Feb-13 14:19:01

Is he crawling yet? A lot of babies lose some of the chubbiness once they get moving.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 05-Feb-13 14:31:25

I'd change his routine a little but agree as he moves more it will become less of an issue.

The BM will be more calorie dense than most food so how about some breakfast, say around 8ish? Something like ready brek with raisins, or chopped banana or berries. Then bf around 10 and lunch around 11.30 or 12, I'd give him whatever you are having. Bf around 3 and dinner with you. I'd stop giving him the porridge for tea and try to get him eating family food, unless you all eat porridge every night of course smile

He could be crying when you eat because of hunger or because of the lack of variety in his diet. By eating with him and eating the same meals it should reduce his crying.

Thaleia Tue 05-Feb-13 18:57:30

Thanks JJJ.

He does the army crawl but doesn't really like it and isn't really fast. Instead, he stands all day so not much activity in terms of chasing around the house.

Hm, don't think he's crying for hunger. I tried to offer boob but he didn't want any.

Yes, I was wondering if the bf is the problem. Oh nooooo, my little baby is growing up!!! I guess, he wants to be (is) a big boy and wants to eat what we eat.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 05-Feb-13 20:00:00

It does sound like he's telling you that he just wants to eat what you eat smile

If he stands up, does he move along the furniture? Just asking as at that age my DS didn't crawl but wanted to be standing all day too. He did burn off energy, walking along the furniture and walls.

Have you tried him with swimming too? He might enjoy the movement smile

VisualiseAHorse Tue 05-Feb-13 23:08:57

Mine's gone up from the 9th centile to the 91st (!!) for weight in the past 3 months - he's 9.5 months too, and crawling and cruising. He's not fat, but very very heavy, like he's filled with cement.

I wouldn't worry too much - he will be sick (I reckon) if he eats too much, or he may get constipated on the days where he has more food than milk.

Thaleia Wed 06-Feb-13 08:04:57

Yes, he's moving along furniture and walls, we have little hand marks everywhere now! I hate swimming ... all about it! Maybe I get daddy on the weekend to do it.

Vis - well, that's the thing, mine actually does look fat. He does have a double chin, hugh belly and fat rolls down his legs.

My concern is not initially his weight but my difficulties in reading him = hungry, yes / no and how much to give him as he's a little hover.

VisualiseAHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 09:46:18

I do set mealtimes with mine. Our routine is like this:

Breakfast (7am ish) - 7oz bottle feed, porridge and fruit.

Lunch (11am ish) - Something like a slice of buttered toast and scrambled egg, or some cheesy pasta and veg. Sometimes I offer a fruit pot or some natural yoghurt if he still seems hungry.

Afternoon snack (2.30pm ish) - 7oz bottled, and a 'biscuit' - usually a small rice cake, or homemade teething biscuit.

Dinner (5pm) - Similar to lunch, maybe some rice and veg, or mashed potato etc, and then offer a yoghurt/fruit if he wants it. 7oz bottle about 6pm, in bed by 7pm.

It's very rare that he leaves any thing in his bowl, but sometimes he does. I will also let him steal the occassional bit off my plate, but this is more of a 'taster' than a full meal. Sometimes he doesn't eat anything at all (breakfast is one where some days he'll just have one spoon and the refuse).
Mine never appears to be hungry either, but if you say 'bottle' to him, it's like he's never eaten, and he waggles his arms about like mad until you give him his bottle!!

I think maybe you are right to 'restrict' his meals a little, because you don't want his milk intake to lessen. Just say 'no more than one 'pot full' (or whatever you use as a measure), per meal. Are you trying finger foods yet?

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 06-Feb-13 11:34:28

Just like visual we did set mealtimes (well roughly). It takes a lot of stress out of wondering if they are hungry or not.

It went a bit like this

7 ish feed on waking

7.30 ish breakfast

10ish feed and a snack, usually fruit

12ish lunch although dd would sometimes fall asleep on the way home and have lunch on waking

3ish feed and a snack, again usually fruit or veg

5 pm tea

Feed before bed at 7pm

Thaleia Wed 06-Feb-13 18:33:47

Ok, that makes sense and I'm glad that it's not just mine who isn't "hungry".

Does a small rice cake count as a whole snack? Sometimes he just has one when every other baby around is eating and he just had had breast.

So JJJ, you were still on 4 feeds? I am glad because it seems that everyone else is only on 3 or even less!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 06-Feb-13 19:16:07

Yes I was still on the same amount of feeds. I didn't really drop feeds unless they refused one. I know that's not everyone's choice and lots drop feeds because of returning to work.

If he's having a rice cake and a feed, that's enough for a snack. Mine would never touch the things though. They just kept handing them back with a "where's the taste" kind if look on their face smile.

VisualiseAHorse Thu 07-Feb-13 16:24:18

You can put butter/pear and apple spread/whatever on a rice cake to make it more appealing smile

Thaleia Sat 09-Feb-13 20:09:55

So far I only gave him one when every other child was eating and he had to watch them. I think, so far he's eaten absolutley everthing I gave him altough he's more keen on read meat than chicken and if he's got a choice, he would not eat banana.
I am not dropping feeds, he clearly lets me know when he's done on the boob by biting down really hard - we only got teeth now - and that's a 2 strike out signal.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 09-Feb-13 20:27:15

If he's biting I'd call one of the bfing helplines. My DS started biting at 7 months and I gave the nct helpline a call. The BFC was really understanding, suggested some things to try and DS stopped biting within a day, which was really good as I was thinking of stopping bfing altogether.

Thaleia Wed 13-Feb-13 19:21:02

oh, didn't know that they'll be able to help with this too. will call them tomorrow!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 13-Feb-13 21:45:16


Flisspaps Wed 13-Feb-13 21:56:55

Thaleia Just to reassure, DS is still on 4 milk feeds a day on top of his meals too smile

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