Derbyshire to Scotland advice please

[MummyShelly1985]

Hi we are driving from Derbyshire to Scotland next month to visit the father in law but I am worried my partner has not thought this through properly. Our daughter is 17 months and screams if in the car for more than 10 mins. We have tried giving her toys singing and talking to her we have even resorted to treats but nothing stops her. He plans to leave at 4.30am the plan is to just leave her in her pjs & hope she will sleep for a few hours so we can get a good start then stop for breakfast and get her dressed and washed at a service station then continue making lots of stops so she can get out and play. I have started preparing a bag of toys and bits she can do in the car and downloading shows for her on my ipad but I know how much she hates the car and will not sleep when we set off she will be to interested in what we are doing. To make it worse the mother in law (divorced from father in law I know it's strange but that's a whole other story lol) is also coming with us and she grates on me like finger nails on a chalk board. Everything she says to me or daughter just really really annoys me at the moment. So it's going to be a very long journey. Does anyone have any ideas how I can keep little one happy even just for some of the trip? xx

[jkklpu]

Where in Scotland are you going? In other words, how far is the drive? What about driving through the night so she just goes to sleep? Leaving at 4.30 sounds the worst of all possible worlds in that she might just decide it's morning and create a massive fuss from the beginning. Do you have music/stories she likes on DVD or that she could get to like before you do your drive? Nominate your mil to be in charge on the back seat and leave them to it.

[jkklpu]

If it's really that bad, go by train.

[Chocotrekkie]

DVD player ? Ours has been a godsend - regularly do midlands to Scotland and its the best thing ever. Kept 3 month old baby happy for hours on a hideous 8 hour traffic jam but won't talk about that

[defineme]

I've done that journey with twinsof a similar age. It's not so bad or so far.
I took lots of food that takes a while-chewy stuff. If someone's in the back with her then it'll be no problem a t all -they can sing with her/read her stories and so on.

[Jinsei]

There are direct trains from Derby to Edinburgh. Might that be a better option?

[LazyMonkeyButler]

I would also suggest a DVD player! I have three DCs - two teenagers & one 23 months. Last summer (so when DD was 11/12 months old) we went everywhere with Something Special playing on DVD.

My teenagers now cringe at the theme tune but we managed from the North Midlands to Devon every weekend without a toddler/baby meltdown.

[LazyMonkeyButler]

Oh, and when DS2 was no more than 6 months old we went to Edinburgh for a long weekend. It may have been further in miles but less in time IYSWIM.

Twelve years ago now, but not so bad.

[MummyShelly1985]

Thanks. We are going to Arran so it's a ferry ride to. I have been downloading all her fave shows on to my ipad ready but I will have a ask round friends for a DVD player to as most people have said that. I did try suggesting to oh we drive through the night but he did not like that idea. We are going to take it in turns in the back with her but I am really not holding out much hope. I have put some of her fave toys away in the bag now in the hope she will be excited to see them again and will play with them.

[ZadokTheBeast]

Off-topic but you know, it's really annoying to (some) Scottish people when you say 'city/region X' to 'Scotland'. It's a big place, a whole other country really. There would be a very big difference if you were going to, say, Hawick (in the south) or Durness (in the north). Like, hundreds of miles of difference. Like me saying 'oh I'm driving from Galashiels to England tomorrow'. Might be an hour. Might be eight.
Just sayin'

[MummyShelly1985]

Lol I know what your saying but from Derbyshire to anywhere in Scotland with a toddler who does not like being in the car for more than 10 mins is a bloody long journey.

[ZadokTheBeast]

yeah it does sound hellish, with the addition of MIL the icing on the cake. I have no advice. Only sympathy.

[BikeRunSki]

We have a car DVD player, but I've ways found that 6 DC prefer story or rhyme CDs , and nearly 2 yo dd can' t pull the wires out.

[jkklpu]

OP - Why are you shy about saying how long your journey is? If you're only going to Glasgow or Edinburgh, you could leave at midnight and be there before breakfast. It is annoying when you just say"Scotland" and make it seem like another planet. People are trying to be constructive but you've given no idea how long the journey is.

[MummyShelly1985]

I said I am going to Arran so am not shy about where I am going. See 9th post. I didn't think exact location would be that important as from Belper anywhere in Scotland even right on the border would be a long way. I was also not sure if many people would know where it is.

[Bonnylassie]

We do Glasgow to Derby (sometimes 2 hours further) and back again at least four times a year (if not more) our dd is 12 months. We leave after her bedtime and drive through the night, its a pain and we never left at that time before she was born but it means she pretty much sleeps through so is less stressful for us.

[BreakfastCricket]

I think your partner's plan is a very reasonable one because you are doing the drive in day light which is sensible and when you are fresh.

I would prepare a holiday Xmas stocking of little fun items all wrapped like little pass the parcel gifts. Open a new one every half hour. These could simply be things like removable stickers that would stick on her window or tiny little picture story books or age appropriate playdoh material. Don't spend very much and just recycle old magazines as the wrapping paper. Be prepared that the car might be a little bit untidy but the adult in the back can tidy up from time to time.

Also you could get one of her fave soft toys/ dolls and let her pack its suitcase/ toy cage and take it with you. Give her a role to play for the journey. She has to remember get the toy animal/ doll a drink, go to the toilet, keep it warm, help it get off to sleep when you stop the car etc. Maybe it's got a temperature or is homesick and needs a cuddle. Encourage her to think about how it feels and deflect her from thinking she is in the car...
Plan to rotate the person in the back seat every few hours.

I'd try not to make a big deal of the journey and be very matter of fact especially with your conversations with your toddler. It gets both harder and easier the more you do. Harder when you introduce another brother or sister into the mix... Also having another adult potentially judging your parenting skills adds a frisson of tension.

Might also be worthwhile reading all the 'babies on an aircraft' threads as they are similar scenarios...

Also worth remembering you might need another set of parcels for return trip...

Have a great trip and remember to pack your own things and not leave your own needs to the very last...

[AgentProvocateur]

No advice, but Arran's lovely. We went last weekend, and try to pop over a couple of times a year. Have a great time

[JollyHolidayGiant]

I would definitely drive through the night. If you wake her at 4:30 and put her in the car she will have had a good sleep by then so won't sleep again. We did Aberdeenshire to Swindon with our 26mo last month and he slept really well overnight. On the way back we did it during the day with a stop for lunch and he watched films and dozed.

[BreakfastCricket]

Husband's parents live eight hours away...

Just saying...driving through the night is OK if you are used to it but thoroughly dangerous if you are not...

OP - make your priority getting there safely; other considerations are secondary...

[runnervt]

What we would probably do would be to leave at her bedtime and drive through the evening when hopefully she'll be tired enough to sleep. You could then stay at a premier inn or something for not too much money and pop her in a cot. The journey must be about 5 hours so if you left at 8 you'd be there by 1 am and would hopefully get a reasonable sleep.

[cestlavielife]

take train with dd and meet dh in scotland for the ferry "there are great rail links directly to Ardrossan Harbour."
www.visitarran.com/getting-to-arran

can you identify why she screams? what doesn she like? being strapped in?
do short journeys to favourite destinations til she builds up tolerance to going in car ... try different car seats, maybe take her to choose one in big store ?

[MrsAmaretto]

Sounds hellish. What's the longest car journey you have done with her so far? Can you go on a couple of long 2hr journeys to see how you all get on? Perhaps that would change dp mind and you & dd can get the rain to Ardrossan (change at Glasgow Central)