Anyone else's diy livery useless?

[Sammiejo12]

First time posting in tack room...
Just need a moan and a rant.

I have had a livery yard for many many years, done a variety of diy/part/full and currently have just two on diy basis. 3 horses between the two of them.

One of my long term liveries let's call her A of coming up to 5 years has always been nervous around any shape or size of equine and it's got to the point where she refuses point blank to get involved and help of one if of us has gone away for the night and require bringing in turning out etc.

A has moved one of her daughters "comp" pony to a "professional" yard because she couldn't handle him on a day to day basis and the whole situation with the pony was an accident waiting to happen.

A went away for two days last week and the other livery B turned out, mucked out and brought in when it was 35degrees plus no questioned asked but when I asked Livery A to help me this morning turn out the livery B horses A refused and said she's terrified of big horses and other people's horses (these ones in particular are so kind and genuine) and that she's done her shoulder in and can't lift it above her head (why she would need to do that I don't know).

I tried to stay calm but was in the middle of plaiting and getting ready for a comp, horses were banging to be turned out, my horse was getting unusually upset and A didn't turn up till gone 8am, spent 5mins here, turned their geriatric pony out, skipped out and left.

Literally does sweet f all now.

[Floralnomad]

I can’t understand your issue , she pays for DIY and does her own horse , she’s under no obligation to help with anyone else’s . If you and the other livery help her then that’s your choice to do so or in future refuse . When we had our horses on DIY I was more than happy to help other people , my dsis and my dm on the other hand were only confident handling our own horses so would have refused - perfectly reasonable .

[Sammiejo12]

I asked her that's why, her daughter was with her as well. Could see I was busy sorting the horses and mine out.

It's a two way street, if someone asks just to lead a horse out to save time and help there shouldn't be a barny about how you can't lift your shoulder and arm up past your head and how terrified you are.

I expected more from such a long standing livery.

[CrotchetyQuaver]

Well if she used to help and won't now and has another at livery elsewhere, I wouldn't feel bad about asking her to sling her hook... if you have a team spirited set up and now she won't help out (and the other horses aren't silly prats) then she'd probably be better off at one of those places where you only do your own horses and nobody helps anyone else out. Or she goes to full livery, not with you.

[Floralnomad]

Then ask her to leave , if I was frightened of a horse I wouldn’t be leading it anywhere especially if I already had a shoulder issue .

[HairyDogsInUnusualPlaces]

Why does she have to help you? As long as she does her own, then she's under no obligation to help do others.
You helping her out by doing hers is nice, but that doesn't mean she 'owes' you anything.
If you don't want to offer to help her, then don't, or offer with the condition she helps you back - then she can make her decision with all the facts. It's not fair for you to offer to help with hers and then expect her to return the favour, especially if she is not confident with other people's horses.

[Sammiejo12]

Just started the day off stressy, if she asks me to sort hers out for any reason I will decline now and say I'm busy. I usually just do it and sometimes it's easier as my mare is buddies with her pony and can get bit upset when said pony is brought in at 4pm so livery A can get home to have dinner.

It's not ease for her that I do it, it's so my horses doesn't injure itself going barmy in the field.

Saying that Livery A pony is in now and mine is out and fine about it.

[Sammiejo12]

Am I crazy to think if you asked someone to help because you were getting ready for a comp or whatever, knowing full well the horses are dope on ropes and would probably just follow you out, you should help out.

Like I said her fully capable daughter was with her and could have stepped in and helped.

Honestly since they've moved the other pony to full livery they literally don't do anything, don't sweep their bit of yard, tidy muck heap and leave their stuff laying around.

I'm obvs of the opinion that everyone should help everyone out considering there are only 3 of us. She's been with me long enough to know that.

[CrotchetyQuaver]

Well if your pony's OK without their one and she's not tidying up behind herself either, then I would have no hesitation in asking her to leave.

[britnay]

Why was livery B not there to turn out their horse?

[GreyhoundzRool]

Honestly OP if you don’t like the way she is then give her notice. However I would say I have (until recently) had my own horse for 20+ years and the older I get the more nervous I am about dealing with other people’s horses. I would help fill nets etc if required but I would really only expect to do my own. I used to get to the yard early in order to be finished early to go to do the other things I had to do - not to deal with other people’s horses/ put breakfast in etc

I think you’ve got a bit of a cheek actually if she’s on DIY

[GreyhoundzRool]

Oh and if I needed help I paid

[Songofsixpence]

If she’s causing problems, then by all means, give her notice

I do agree with the previous posters that I don’t really see that she’s done anything wrong though

We have 2 on DIY livery - a retiree and my daughters pony. I’m not keen on dealing with them if I’m honest - I’ll muck out, fill haynets, poo pick, etc, but I am nervous of them (it’s DH’s and DD’s thing)

I don’t mind helping out filling haynets, skipping out and stuff, but I wouldn’t turn out/bring in someone else’s horses either

Our yard owner offers turn out/bring in for a fee so I pay him if I need to or if we’re away I pay for holiday cover

[Booboostwo]

I don’t get this either.

If she’s DIY all she has to do is her own horse. I wouldn’t want to spend time and effort taking someone else’s horse out and, frankly, if I am going to get trampled by a horse it had better be mine (there is no such thing as an utterly reliable horse, they all do stupid things even if it is to trip and fall on you).

If she asks you for help then you should reply according to your yard policy. If the help is not included in the price, then tell her how much you will charge her, many DIY livery yards have a price list for turn out/bring in, muck out, etc on an ad hoc basis. If you don’t want to offer any of these services then don’t.

[britnay]

It certainly doesn't sound like A ever agreed to do B's horse, and there is absolutely no reason to expect her to.

[AyahuascaTrip]

How can you put a headcollar on without lifting your arm above your shoulder though?

[Feawen]

I don’t see what your livery has done wrong either. If she isn’t fitting in, well, it’s your yard and it’s up to you if you want to give her notice. I’m sure some people would be happy with your co-operative style arrangement but it isn’t typical of DIY livery IME.

Calling her useless is poor form and doesn’t reflect well on you. All horsemen and women are only one accident, one mistake, one panicked horse away from injury and loss of confidence. I hope people are more supportive of you when you have a wobble.

[krustykittens]

This is why I am so glad we have our ponies at home. I can't see what she has done wrong either, she is doing her own horses and doesn't have to help out. If she doesn't feel confident and wants to only handle her own, fair enough. Equally, you are not obligated to do her favours, so if you feel a bit taken advantage of (which I would understand), pull back a little yourself.

[Belenus]

One of my long term liveries let's call her A of coming up to 5 years has always been nervous around any shape or size of equine and it's got to the point where she refuses point blank to get involved and help of one if of us has gone away for the night and require bringing in turning out etc.

Is it a condition of her livery that she do this? Is she insured if anything happens? You should be covered but as an owner, I am wary of helping out with other liveries. My 3rd party covers me but I do wonder if one of their horses is injured whilst I'm handling it, if an insurance company could argue I shouldn't have been handling it in the first place.

Personally I will happily help out but I really wouldn't blame anyone who refused to help with either of my horses. I love them dearly but one of them can be a barge-arse sod and the mare makes a box of frogs look like the saner option. It sounds like she is paying for the service she is getting. If you want her to pay more when she in effect goes on full or assisted livery then ask for this. I think you either have to put it on a firmer, more business-like footing or give her notice and get someone who is happy to muck in.

The trouble is IME yard owners can take the piss if you are a bit too helpful. If you're getting ready for a competition you still need to be doing whatever it is you're paid to be doing, rather than asking another livery to do it. If they want to help that's lovely, but they are not obliged to.

[DiseasesOfTheSheep]

I'm another who thinks the livery hasn't done anything wrong. I've been in a similar small yard which the owner expected to be "co-operative", except that one owner was a complete novice without the skills to handle a rocking horse, who expected the other owner to look after her horse while she was away / busy / too lazy to come up, on the basis that she would reciprocate when I was away. Obviously that wasn't remotely possible and there was no way in hell I was going to leave her in charge of mine, or look after her horse / teach her for free. Co-operative liveries only work if the liveries are all on board, capable and similarly competent - otherwise one party always feels put upon and hard done by. Better to charge people more for part livery, get up earlier and turn everything out yourself before you start your competition prep.