Relaxation help

[FlockOfTwats]

Hi all

I have recently began having lessons again. I used to have my own horses when DD was small before DS1 came along, Rode western after DS1 before DS3.

I neglected my english riding during that period too. Only rode english once during the those two years. On an unschooled trotter. Which i reverted into some sort of strange would be western seat (It was horrific, every laughed, even me, i looked shit).

Anyway, I found a lovely RS. They have a decent range of horses, all sane and safe. I've been riding a nice TB for my lessons.

First lesson was positive, although i confused the poor horse as my signals were all over the place, fidgeting with the shorter stirrups compared to the western seat, wanting to sort of drop the reins constantly (Not sure how else to word that one). But he put up with me haha, got a bit better by the end of the lesson. Instructor is very good and patient.

Very confident following this, and have stopped confusing him so much getting back into the swing of english riding. Still struggling a bit wrt stirrup length - One minute i want them longer, next thats too long and i want them back. I guess that will come in time.

Anyway this week, I had an absolute shitter of a week. The agent for the house we wanted to rent found out the landlord hadnt been paying his mortgage. Refunded my application fees etc. But was still annoying. Had a huge argument with the health visitor and asked her not to return - whole other thread and topic.

Was totally not in the right frame of mind and i really annoyed the poor horse. He's not a typical RS kick along. He's actually quite well schooled. Was fine walk and trot, went to canter, had a slight 'wtf' moment for some random reason, felt unbalanced, totally had a meltdown, which made things worse, horse got a bit jumpy. Riding instructor was brilliant and didn't push me as she could see i was really getting nervy. Finished on a good note doing some circling in trot, collecting him up a little bit.

Don't think having my son there helped tBH (He is off for easter) either and just made me more tense.

So, does anyone have any tips for relaxation if i'm tense like this again? I feel it was contributing because i lost my balance/seat/rhytem etc the first few times back in the saddle and didnt meltdown like this. I want to arrive with a more positive attitude no matter what sort of week i'm having elsewhere in my life.

I also leant forward as soon as horse got a bit jumpy - Which i haven't done for years and i really disappointed myself with as it used to be such a bad habit for me that took me ages to get out of when i was a teen after an accident.

Next lesson is on thursday and i can already feel myself panicking over a repeat. My other half is off work on thursday though so i am thinking of asking begging my mum to give me a lift and leave DS1 at home (DS 2 is 5 months and always comes with no problems, he usually sleeps through it).

TIA

[chocolatecakeystuff]

No hints or tips Im sure plenty will be along with some- but hours in the saddle will help you feel more relaxed. If I have moments I don't feel s100% about something I pretend I weigh a million stone lol! For some reason that seems to work.

[Booboostoo]

Give yourself some time, this was just your second lesson and while you never competely forget how to ride it does take a while for your body to remember, for your muscles to grow back and your confidence to increase.

Also if your DS is only 5mo your hormones will still be over the place and it does affect how confident you are placing yourself in potentialy risky situations. I don't know if you rode when pregnant with your younger DCs, but I found pregnancy chances my attitude to riding and the risk in involves immensely and some of that feeling persists while the DCs are very very young and need me a lot.

Do you do pilates? I find if I do my pilates breathing when I ride it helps a lot, concentrate on the rhythmical long in breath, long out breath. Or sing - seriously this is a brilliant tip because it regulates your breathing and takes your mind off what you are doing.

[Pixel]

Singing definitely, people round here must think I'm mad!
Or sometimes I recite a nice long poem, having to struggle to remember it gets my mind off the 'what-ifs'.

Some people swear by Rescue Remedy or gin.

[FlockOfTwats]

Booboo it was 4th, but you're right it's early days isn't it. Maybe i'm expecting too much of myself.

My riding instructor recommended pilates actually - I have, since i was 14 and had a bad accident, dropped all my weight to my left (I do this just standing on the ground, physio mentioned it within seconds of looking at me). It's more pronounced riding, especially in canter on the left rein since DS2 (I had SPD). I had the SPD pains the first time i cantered again.

She said a bit of physio and pilates would do me good as my seat cantering on the right is really good, i just need to get my weight off my left on the left lol.

I didn't ride pregnant no - I planned to with my first but got so nervy and hormonal i didn't want to ruin my confidence doing it.

I used to sing on my own pony if i got nervous after the accident and that did work wonders - Do you think my RS will mind lol?

I saw some rescue remedy the other day and considered that. It was going cheap too might pop and get some.

[Booboostoo]

I found pilates really helpful with my riding...back in the days when DD hadn't taken up all my time and I could actually do other things as well!!

[FlockOfTwats]

Right, Got some rescue remedy, and mum is going to give me a lift and leave the boys at home with OH this week :)