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Maternity problem

(8 Posts)
hidinghats Thu 30-Apr-20 10:13:36

I was asked by the deputy head yesterday when I intended to start mat leave and gave her the date. The school have known I was pregnant since 10 weeks.
The same day, I then received a message from a colleague (not slt or hr) informing me that afternoon that a former colleague had been offered the job. She has accepted and told work colleagues that she will be returning as mat cover and people at work are discussing who they think is pregnant.
As you can imagine, being pregnant at this time comes with a lot of worry and anxiety. I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant and haven't even told some of my family so as not to worry them whilst we are self distancing due to Covid-19.
I felt that my hand was forced to tell people I was pregnant when I wasn't ready.
I understand the need to get a mat cover in quickly but has this been handled right?
I feel so overwhelmed about it and can't stop crying (gotta love these pregncy hormones!) I wonder if anyone can help me with some perspective?
I have since emailed the deputy head and hr to politely let them know that I am aware of the new appointment.
I have also contacted the union.

OP’s posts: |
NameChange30 Thu 30-Apr-20 10:26:23

You don't actually have to tell them when you plan to start maternity leave until you're 25 weeks pregnant (at the latest). I'm 21 weeks and haven't told my employer my mat leave start date yet, although I plan to soon. It's a shame you didn't tell the deputy head that you hadn't yet decided - you could have said that you were waiting until your 20 week scan before confirming your plans, for example.

I am not sure whether they have breached confidentiality by telling everyone about the maternity cover. I suppose realistically there is only a limited number of female teachers who are "childbearing" age so it might be that people can work it out.

They certainly haven't dealt with it very sensitively and I'm sorry it's upset you flowers

Personally I think I would let it go but ask the deputy and HR not to tell anyone about your pregnancy and then announce it yourself when you're ready (maybe after 20 week scan?)

hidinghats Thu 30-Apr-20 10:45:39

Thank you. I know everyone would find out eventually but I feel so anxious and the information got out at the speed of lightning.
I will try to put it out of my head. My DH is making a nice brunch to cheer me up smile

OP’s posts: |
Leodot Thu 30-Apr-20 14:36:53

I think it’s been handled insensitively and I’m sorry it’s upset you. They should have told your MAT cover not to say anything as the staff hadn’t been told about your pregnancy yet. I don’t have any advice on how to move forward this but please try not to let it upset you ❤️.

I understand your unhappiness at being forced to say something far too early because of corona virus. I have been going through fertility treatment and sadly had to let a lot more people know than I wanted to as there was such mixed advice initially about whether pregnant women should be shielding. Sadly for me it was unsuccessful and then I had to tell everyone it was unsuccessful and let them know that I would be back at work.

Enjoy your pregnancy OP. I hope that you are ok. 😊

heartonastring Thu 30-Apr-20 20:47:36

Oh @leodot thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can only imagine how heartbreaking that would have been.

flowers for you. Have a good evening

heartonastring Thu 30-Apr-20 20:52:53

Even more embarrassingly, that should have been a flowers emoji...sorry

Leodot Thu 30-Apr-20 21:07:33

Thank you @heartonastring, that’s very kind of you ❤️ hope you have a good evening too. 😊

Whatelsecouldibecalled Sat 02-May-20 03:12:43

@hidinghatssorry you’ve been made to feel like this. Does the fit et colleague know it’s you that is pregnant or that it’s a mat cover?

I think personally keep quiet and let people speculate. The whole school won’t know it’s you, you just feel like they will. If your first pregnancy you might not be slowing yet and can keep it a secret a little longer. I didn’t show properly at school until about 30 weeks so kept it under wraps for a long time and only told those I wanted to know.
Good luck with rest of pregnancy

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