I've just returned from mat leave. I loved my job before having a baby but now I don't know if I can hack it. I have 1 dc, it shouldn't be this hard right? There must be something wrong with me.
I lead a successful department but the year I was off results plummeted and now slt are on my back to get them up. We have a new department that was hired whilst I was off who can't teach. I have no idea why they were offered perm contracts (oh I do, because they are cheap). 1 of them will take on feedback but the other won't and can't see a problem. It looks like regular observations are necessary, taking up precious frees. They have no classroom control so I have been given all the bottom sets. So I spend all day peeling kids off the ceiling to then go home and fight with an overtired 1 year old to get her into bed. She wakes up hourly and it's a battle to get her to sleep every time. Evenings I'm just too exhausted to work so my weekends are taken up by planning. I haven't had time to mark books. My tutor group are taking all my time at school and my HoY just keeps adding to the workload and if I approach her about it like not having to do an assembly or ring home every time a kid is off sick, I just get told to suck it up because it's my job. Which I guess it is.
I feel like I'm letting my exam classes down if I go part time and my daughter loves nursery and has made friends so I feel guilty quitting as I wouldn't be able to afford the fees. If i stepped down as department head, again, I couldn't afford the nursery fees on a normal teacher's wage. I teach a pretty niche subject, that mostly only grammar or private schools teach, so I honestly can't see it getting any easier moving schools. Plenty of teachers have kids, more than 1 even, so I'm feeling a bit of a failure right now and I guess I just needed an ear and maybe some advice.
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I'm not sure if I can keep going on like this
7 replies
Justbumbling · 25/10/2018 12:15
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