Sigh crappy observation

[WombatStewForTea]

I had an observation yesterday. It was shit. I knew it had gone badly but had to wait until after school today to get feedback. This meant I spent all last night panicking and feeling sick.
Feedback was as I expected. I knew where I'd buggered it up. I'm normally a good teacher and they told me that this observation is not representative of me as a teacher but it's really knocked me. I know I'm a good teacher but I've found this year really tough. Constant scrutinies and pressure and I know it's making me narky with the kids at times because I'm stressed. I hate it and I'm honestly doing my best to stop. This was brought up in feedback in a supportive way but meant as a dig that I need to regain my warm caring teacher style.
Basically feedback turned into me having a bit of a melt down, them being really supportive and saying they'd noticed I'm up happy and they want to help. I'd lost confidence in myself as a teacher before this observation and being offered help just makes me feel shit. I know I need to swallow my pride and accept their help but it's hard and I don't know what they can do to help.
Sigh. I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment.
Any words of wisdom to give me a kick up the back side?

[redcaryellowcar]

I don't really know what to say, have you got any lovely rl teaching friends who you trust and could talk this through with? It's a hard job (I taught pre DC) and I'm sure you are doing a great job.

[WombatStewForTea]

Thanks red I do have a couple and have confided in a very close colleague at work. I know I need to put it behind me and move on and that I take it more personally than I should.
I know my class like me even though I can snap at them so I'm just going to hold on to that and do the best I can for them.

[PurpleAlerts]

Did they just give a judgement based on what they saw or did they look at your books/ displays/ get pupil views and give a judgement based on progress over time?

This is a very important part of the new Ofsted framework.

[WombatStewForTea]

Their judgement was just on the 30 mins they were in my classroom. During feedback they talked about my book scrutiny and said it was good and that's why they're not worried about it.

[DitheringDiva]

It does sound like your management are genuinely trying to be supportive. There are schools, where you would instantly be put on informal capability, then formal capability etc, just for one weak observation (or not even a weak observation, they just pretend it is to get rid of you) - at least you're not in that situation. Did you mention to your observers that you are finding everything tough this year, and just need to be cut a bit of slack for a while (or whatever you think would help)? - if they are genuinely supportive, then they should listen to you.

[WombatStewForTea]

Yeah I know they are being genuinely supportive Dithering and I do count myself luck in that sense.
We spent very little time talking about the actual lesson and most of it was about how tough I've found things (may have had a little bit of a breakdown). They kept saying they want to support me. I honestly don't know how though. I know I can plan (its just taking me ages because I'm constantly second guessing myself). I feel like if I need support then I am as shit as I feel I am - so I don't think it will help! They kept asking if they'd done/said anything specific to make me feel this way but I can't put my finger on anything, it is more of the general feeling of nothing being good enough.
I'm just going to try and put it behind me but I know I'm going to have to have another conversation with them which I really don't want.

[violetsarentblue]

There are schools, where you would instantly be put on informal capability, then formal capability etc, just for one weak observation (or not even a weak observation, they just pretend it is to get rid of you) - at least you're not in that situation

Have to hand it to you teachers.
I can't imagine doing a job where I was being constantly observed and scrutinized.
It must be so stressful to work under conditions like that.

[Clarella]

It's not just me then.



I've not been in here much and usually a confident teacher. But since I came back from long term sick so much has changed my head is spinning. Esp obs.

[junebirthdaygirl]

Teacher here in lreland. I honestly don't know how ye stick it. Having your confidence knocked is the last thing you need in teaching. And passing comments on your teaching after a half hour of observation is truly horrible. I genuinely don't get how they think this is going to make better teachers. You have my complete sympathy. I couldn't handle it even after years of a very successful teaching career.