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Time off for wedding

(26 Posts)
Dylanlovesbaez Tue 26-Mar-13 09:59:31

I'm just about to go back to teaching after maternity leave, I will be part time but my mils wedding is on a Saturday and quite a distance away. Neither myself or dp drive. Would I be entitled to day off? Mil insists I am, I don't really want to take day off as what hapoen ds if/when my DB or ds get married? What about funerals? If I use the day for a wedding would I have to miss a funeral?

BarbaraRoberts Tue 26-Mar-13 10:01:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatelynStark Tue 26-Mar-13 10:04:38

I doubt very much if you'd be entitled to a day off for your MIL's wedding.

You might be lucky but it certainly wasn't the norm when I was teaching a few years ago. How does your MIL know this to be the case? Is she your new HT?

Dylanlovesbaez Tue 26-Mar-13 10:16:04

Yes I will be job sharing but I cannot swap days in this case, I also don't want to as I cannot afford to lose paid for child care. I didn't think I would be entitled. Mil works in a scho so knows everything there is to know about the education system!

CatelynStark Tue 26-Mar-13 10:23:10

Ah yes, I know the type smile

BarbaraRoberts Tue 26-Mar-13 10:24:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dylanlovesbaez Tue 26-Mar-13 10:27:00

Possibly barbararoberts, I will ask tomorrow. I'm a bit worried as I've swapped a day with my job share for pfbs first birthday which is a few weeks before the wedding so I don't want to seem as if I'm messing them around. Also there will be nobody to cover me fri pm. Feels a bit wrong to be honest.

auforfoulkesake Tue 26-Mar-13 10:27:07

don't you want to go to the weddig?

BarbaraRoberts Tue 26-Mar-13 10:43:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dylanlovesbaez Tue 26-Mar-13 11:12:21

I don't want to go! I know but sounds like I'm making excuses but honestly, my head is really funny about us swapping. He let my job share have her dd1 and dd2s first birthday off so is letting me swap but he's really quite arsey about it. I just worry that I'm using up a day that I then won't be allowed later on if close family get married.

CatelynStark Tue 26-Mar-13 16:56:24

I don't think the OP is making excuses - it's really difficult to get time off as a teacher, even for funerals of close relatives. The management either flatly refuse or make you feel as guilty as Hell! unless you are management

orangeandlemons Sun 31-Mar-13 15:02:05

We have a leave policy. Days of for funerals of close blood relatives allowed. Weddings no, although people have taken them with no pay.

Schooldidi Sun 31-Mar-13 15:05:36

We would have to ask permission for a day off unpaid for a wedding. It would then be the head's decision about whether to let you have the day or not. You are not entitled to a paid day off, but most heads would let you have an unpaid day for a close relative's wedding.

BackforGood Sun 31-Mar-13 15:10:47

1. You need to ask to look in the Burgundy Book. I can't remember how it's phrased, but you are allowed a day for immediate family wedding. Don't know if a MiL wedding would count though, and don't know if it would count as the wedding isn't on a school day.
2. You don't "use up" your entitlement - you are either entitled or not, it's not that you have 2 days a year or something. The vast majority of years you never take any days, but the way life works, you then might have 2 funerals in one year. They don't say, "No, you can't go to A's funeral as you went to B's funeral last month" as long as they both fit the criteria of being close family member. So randomly worrying about some mythical wedding or funeral that you are not even expecting shouldn't come into it.
3. You are however burning your bridges by asking for time for your pfb's birthday. The child won't even know it's their birthday on that day. Save any "favours" or good will for when it's something you really want, but aren't entitled to.

orangeandlemons Sun 31-Mar-13 15:13:06

But weddings are to some extent controllable, funerals aren't, so funerals have to be allowed. Fwiw, in the 16 years I have been teaching, I have never ever had a day off, nor expected one for my dc's birthday

yellowhousewithareddoor Sun 31-Mar-13 15:15:50

I wouldn't expect it no. I missed my grandparents golden wedding (renewal of vows, reception etc) as it was on a Friday and I now wish I'd just taken it.

Can you not travel up after school Friday?

Mrsrobertduvall Sun 31-Mar-13 15:16:18

Can't believe people take days off for childrens' brthdays.

BackforGood Sun 31-Mar-13 15:29:11

In general MrsRD, they don't confused

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Sun 31-Mar-13 15:38:04

Am astonished at people having the day off for their children's birthdays.

And if the wedding is on a Saturday, I think it would be wrong to ask for a day off to travel. Travel after work on the Friday.

LynetteScavo Sun 31-Mar-13 15:54:38

I think the policy in most places is time off for funerals, but not weddings.

I think you'll need to travel up Friday evening.

rubyrubyruby Sun 31-Mar-13 16:30:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Sun 31-Mar-13 16:36:33

I'm only talking about places with set holidays - I wouldn't dream of asking for time off for a birthday, wedding etc.

BackforGood Sun 31-Mar-13 20:11:55

Well Ruby I think people were indicating it's not one of the very limited list of reasons you can apply for a day out of school, but, tbh, even now I'm not on teachers T&Cs anymore, I wouldn't have a day off just because it was one of my dcs birthdays, and especially not if it were their 1st one, as they wouldn't have a clue what day it was anyway!

Dylanlovesbaez Sun 31-Mar-13 20:14:34

My plan was to travel on Friday evening, I just wanted to see what responses are as she's on my case!
I'm not taking the day off for dds birthday, I will still be working the same amount of days, just swapping with my job share.

BackforGood Sun 31-Mar-13 20:30:08

I may be being a bit slow here - apologies if I am - but if you and your jobshare can swap for something as far from possible as it can be to get a day off for a child's birthday, then I don't understand why you can't swap for travelling for the wedding, which is a much bigger "thing" and logistically would make life a lot easier for you if you could be not working on that day ? confused

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