I'm an NQT at a large comprehensive. I re trained last year and I'm 38, married with 2 DC. DS is 7 and DD is 4.
I'm not coping. I find the workload enormous. The school had an inspection at the end of the summer term and it didn't do well in the Core. As a result, there's a huge shift in focus on all staff. We have to provide an enormous amount of planning and incorporating of new teaching methods (don't want to say which in case this identifies me in RL). Behaviour is also a huge issue in this school.
I'm on my 3rd and 4th observation from Senior Management this coming week. It unnerves me in a way I didnt expect - I'm older, quite calm normally, and having gone through really stressful work and home situations, I thought I could deal with most stress. I can't. I find I'm constantly thinking about work, constantly working and planning, making resources, and constantly anxious too. Friday night is my only respite during the week and that's because I down a couple of gins to force me to relax. Saturday morning, I wake uptight and snappy because of all the work I have to do.
DH is not able to support me more in the house. He works away an awful lot with a really responsible job (again, don't want to say what just in case I'm outed) so I can't rely on him to have the children more.
I cannot approach the senior leadership team with my concerns. I've been told time and time again not to complain as they will not re-new my contract. I cannot approach my NQT mentor either for support, as he's a part of the senior leadership team. The Head really unnerves me; I feel constantly in the wrong, no matter how hard I try.
Even now typing this, I'm close to tears and nearly hyper-ventilating. I think I've made a massive mistake retraining to be a teacher. My kids are suffering because I'm never relaxed and happy. Every night I'm working or marking and I cannot sustain this pace. I feel like seeing the GP for something to help me relax. I'm just not enjoying life at the moment. I never imagined it would be like this.
Sorry for the long post. I feel so low.
Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.
The staffroom
Not coping.
Loonytoonie · 18/11/2012 15:04
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