My cat died yesterday and I can't cope

[Lostmyway86]

I went away on holiday for 4 days this week. My cat is diabetic and my neighbour was looking after him. Yesterday he went into a diabetic coma and was rushed to the vet, but sadly we had to let him go after a day of seizures and crashes. I'm struggling to cope. He was 13 years old and the most gentle, wonderful, perfect pet anyone could ask for. I loved him dearly. I have guilt that I left him, so much worry for my neighbour who is distraught that she may have accidentally overdosed insulin causing the crash, absolute gut renching pain that he spent a night having seizures alone until the morning when my neighbour found him. We've just buried him in the garden, I didn't think I'd be able to look at him but I did... He looked like he was sleeping. Now I'm sat in a dark room my head pounding. I have 2 babies and SDs who my husband has just taken out to give me some time. He was my cat before I met my husband, so although he's upset he doesn't share the pain I feel. I love him so much and don't know how I'll get past this.

[SassenachWitch]

I’m so so sorry for your loss.

I absolutely adore my cat, so I sympathise with you.

Please try not to feel guilty, you gave him 13 wonderful years, and I’m sure he loved you very much.

[Recruit2020]

Sending love. He sounds utterly loved and will have known it. I am sure he will be looking down on you always. They really are our fur babies. Maybe get something to remember him by, a nice framed photo or a piece of jewellery. Cry it out as much as you need. Lots of love from one cat mum to another x

[weekend2021]

My heart bleeds for you. I love my 15 year old girl more than anything and dread the day I have to face the inevitable.
It will get easier for you, although you won’t think or feel that now. Nothing anyone can say or do will ease the pain, you just need to grieve, as you would for a human.
Sending hugs xx

[Fluffycloudland77]

I’m sure your neighbour would’ve checked the dose, it’s like looking after someone else’s kids.

It does hurt like hell though to lose them.

[Etulosba]

So sorry for your loss. I lost a cat to kidney cancer at about the same age over ten years ago and I still miss him. It was so sudden.

[Lostmyway86]

Thanks all. I've never felt like this in my life to be honest. It's the first time we've been away in years. I would do anything to have him back. It hurts so much.

@Fluffycloudland77 even if there was an accident, I would never ever blame her. She was trying to care for him and tried everything she could including rushing him to the vet the minute she found him. We're both in pieces, she loved the cat as he often wandered over to her garden and sat with her.

[daisycottage]

This is a terrible shock for you, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

I'm so sorry.

[JoanOgden]

I'm so sorry - your cat sounds absolutely lovely. Be kind to yourself.

[MrsCatE]

Sending hugs. I still tear up over BastardCat every day so understand

[Queenie6655]

So sorry

It is a huge loss they are great companions xxxx

[Want2beme]

It's such a shock when they go so suddenly. So sorry for your loss. We always think of the what ifs, but there's nothing you could have done. Let yourself grieve. They mean so much to us

[Claphands]

They stay in your memory, I loved my cats, properly loved them and my last cat died age 20 4 years ago and I still miss him. Think about the great life you gave him x

[Workinghardeveryday]

I am so sorry for your loss x. Please try and take comfort in what a great life he had with you and happy he was.
Sending love xx

[Shmithecat2]

I'm so sorry. I lost one of my cats nearly 13 years ago and it still gets me. Be kind to yourself.

[ISayHey]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have a dog and can't imagine life without him. I'm so sorry and sending you big hugs.

[Partypoooooper]

Sending hugs, I lost my dog a few months ago And honestly I still feel so heartbroken, struggling to fight back the tears if I see another one like him but it definitely feels less raw now. I've found the best thing has been talking about him. Xx

[WorldsBestCat]

so sorry OP for the loss of your gorgeous boy. We lost our cat just over 3 weeks ago to kidney disease. She was PTS and I was bereft. As other posters have said, talking about her has helped hugely. Still have moments most days where i cry over her. Feels like a piece of my heart has gone forever now but it was the right thing for her. Just never the right time for the owners who love them so dearly. Shortly after her death we printed out lots of pictures of her and have them in each room which has been very comforting. Still can't believe the worlds most wonderful cat is no longer with us but also have moments where I can smile about her and the things she use to do to make us laugh, love her even more (if that were possible) and how lucky we were to have her as our cat. You will get to that place too OP. I hope you are ok

[paloma3]

I'm really sorry for your loss. Our 12-year-old diabetic cat also had to be PTS earlier this year, as his blood glucose had become completely (and inexplicably) unstable.

Please reassure yourself and your neighbour that there's a strong chance it wasn't human error with the insulin. One common cause of hypoglycaemia is that diabetic cats can go into remission. Suddenly they don't need their insulin, but you have no way of knowing, so they get their normal shot and drop too low.

Our cat was previously a textbook-case diabetic, thriving for years on a high insulin dose. When he did have his first blood sugar crash, it came out of the blue, and I was paranoid that I'd messed up his shot. I'd started a new vial which had been in the fridge for a while, and I was worried I hadn't rolled it enough so he'd got a super concentrated dose.

But after the first hypo, he continued having sudden drops every few weeks. We went through 12 months of daily blood glucose monitoring, switching doses, switching insulin, additional meds. He'd be okay for a few weeks, then have another sudden plunge. The vet never worked out what exactly was causing this: it wasn't remission, because he still needed his insulin... except on days he didn't (and even if his blood glucose was crazy high when I gave a shot, it might rapidly drop).

I know we were lucky to have a year with our cat after his first hypo. But he had so many miserable trips to the vets, so many subsequent hypos, and I had to jab his poor ear for a blood sample at least twice a day -- and after all that we still couldn't save him. Now I think that after a certain point, some diabetic cats will become unstable and there's little you can do about it. Our cat basically had 24/7 supervision, and we still lurched from crisis to crisis.

And please don't feel bad about your cat spending the night alone. My cat never had seizures (I did have to rub honey on his gums several times, and rush him to the vet), but the earlier stages of low blood sugar were always disorientation, then grogginess, then just sitting in his basket with a glazed, unresponsive look, like someone who'd had too much wine at lunch. He was very out of it, but didn't seem in any pain or even discomfort.

Sometimes I only caught an incipient hypo from doing a random late test; it was hard to distinguish from standard sleepy cat lazing around. So even if humans are to hand, it's easy to miss, especially at night (as insulin may not peak until you're in bed). And, from what I've seen, the cat has less and less awareness of what's happening as blood sugar drops.

Apologies for this long post. Of course you feel so sad to lose your cat; I'm miserable without mine, too, a happy sociable flump who'd been with us through so many house moves and life changes. But please don't feel additionally bad about the circumstances, because it sounds like he had great care from you and your neighbour, and this was a case of a well-managed chronic condition taking a sudden turn.

[IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble]

I am so sorry for your loss OP

[Lostmyway86]

@paloma3 thank you so much for your message, it was so reassuring to read. I'm so sorry about your cat, that sounds like a tough final year. Mine had only had diabetes for a year and this was his second crash, the first time I got honey on his gums and got him to the vet on time. Just can't help feeling he would have had a few good years left, but guess I'll never know. Your words helped a lot x

[KarlMaldensNose]

So sorry 😢

[Worriesandwobbles]

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts like hell, but it does get easier to live with eventually. One day you will find yourself thinking of them and smile instead of cry xx

[Greystray]

I'm so sorry for your loss