What’s wrong? Is he grieving?

[Hmm12121]

I have a 4 year old half Siamese, neutered male cat. We also have a 6 month old male kitten who was neutered on Thursday. Last Friday we lost our beautiful dog in a horrible freak accident which our old cat witnessed.

Until this week our older cat has tolerated the kitten very well. They play daily and kitten knows when not to push it. They sleep near each other and eat together.
However, this week our older cat has become more distant, wants to be out more and very intolerant of the kitten. The kitten is actually being very good and not doing anything at all which warrants swiping and hissing.
Older cat stayed out all night on Thursday and when I found him in the morning he scratched me quite badly when I picked him up. He’s never scratched us. It’s so unusual.

When he comes back he gets lots of love, treats etc but he almost immediately wants to go out again, even in the rain which is definitely not like him!

He did sleep on my bed again all night last night but kitten sleeps in with my son so nowhere around.

He’s also seen us very sad this week after losing our lovely dog.

I don’t know what is wrong. I just want our old Alby back 😔 I have plugged in a felliway and put some drops on Alby which are meant to calm.

[KatyMac]

Oh poor pussy & poor you

No helpful suggestions just so sorry for you all

[Sailfin]

Oh so sad for you... sounds like the poor boy is traumatised, not sure what to suggest.

I've found the Feliway plug in helpful for feline stress.

[huuunderickssss]

Oh that sounds awful, I don't think a cat would be that affected unless it was something very physical that scared him too.. also cats react to the smell of vets so they kitten will smell weird which upsets them from his visit . My cats attack each other for a few days when one has been to the vets .

[Hmm12121]

It was physical. Our gorgeous daft dog got excited by something in the garden late at night, did a mad doodle dash and ran i to the closed patio door at high speed. He’d done it a few times in his life, but he obviously forgot the door was closed which it generally was while he was in the garden at night. He just hit it so hard that it instantly killed him 😢 I’ve lost my utterly faithful friend who adored us and likewise we adored him....as did many, many others. The cat can probably sense it but also I do think the smell of the kitten on Thursday might have triggered something.
I’m happy to say that right now he is sat in the lounge about 2 metres away from the kitten observing play and chilling. He’s a tiny bit grumpy if kitten gets too close but nothing like he has been the past couple of days. We are giving lots of treats and love and giving space when he needs it.
He sleeps on my bed and kitten is shut in with my son at night.
Hopefully we are on our way to getting back our happy little cat. It’s been more upsetting seeing like this because of our dog.

[huuunderickssss]

Oh no that's so sad and I guess it made a horrible noise so I would imagine the cat was scared rather than upset his friend had died and then witnessed you all being upset . I grew up with Siamese cats ( 4) and they are very empathetic and intuitive so he probably feels what you do 😔😔.. so sorry for your loss .

[Hmm12121]

I think he misses the dog. The kitten even missed him for a couple of days.

[Pancakeorcrepe]

Oh that’s really sad about your dog, so sorry to hear that. What a freak accident! Poor thing! You must be devastated and bewildered.
Cats do grieve their companions, be it other animals, other cats or people. He will also sense the general sadness in the household. One of my cats grieved very hard for his companion. It took a good six months before he improved noticeably. I tried everything to cheer him up but they have to go through the process.

[Hmm12121]

Pancakeorcrepe We really are devastated 😔 He was so goofy and loyal and so, so loving and I miss him with all my being. I know I need to keep going and live life but none of us, my two teens and I, can think of anything to do which wouldn’t have included our beautiful boy. We’ve had to force ourselves to do anything. He was our first doggo and we really are grieving so much. The house feels very, very different.
I do think Alby wants to know where his buddy is. They did a little nose rub every time they saw each other and he regularly cleaned Albys ears for him, despite him being a lolloping great labradoodle and Albs and tiny little cat.
He seems a little better. He’s just gone out but is coming home regularly and being his purry self. He’s sleeping with me and eating well. I guess, like with us, it’ll take time.

[Pancakeorcrepe]

It sounds like Alby and him had a lovely relationship, he will be adjusting to the change of not having him around anymore. My vet told me to not to and wash all the blankets etc but to leave everything around and let the scent fade naturally so the remaining pet can adjust slowly. I suppose you could also get some Feliway and Pet Remedy. Continue to be kind to him but at the same time try to keep his normal routines.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dog, it’s horrible when they leave us, just heartbreaking, especially in these circumstances. I’ve been through pet loss a few times but unfortunately there is nothing that helps that feeling of emptiness inside. But, as I’m sure you feel about your boy, all the pain at the end is still worth it for having had the joy of knowing them 💐 even though it doesn’t always feel that way when you’re in the pits of it