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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

One of my cats has died, what to do about his brother?

34 replies

Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 15:34

I've discovered this morning that one of my cats has died, I found his body under a tree in the garden. No idea why, he was a year old and fit and healthy.

I am beyond devastated.

One of my big worries is how his brother will cope, he is still young with hopefully many years ahead of him. They were very sociable, and slept together. Do I get another cat? Or a pair of kittens? Or just keep him as a single cat? He is a well loved outdoor cat with a cat flap, but two days a week both me and dp are out all day.

Any thoughts very welcome.

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LEMtheoriginal · 04/08/2018 15:40

Cats are actually solitary creatures so he will be fine on his own. He will of course miss his brother but he'll be ok.

Am very soery for your liss. Horrible shock for you :(

Toddlerteaplease · 04/08/2018 16:00

Let him see his brother. It might help him understand.

LanguidLobster · 04/08/2018 16:04

What a nasty shock :(

Like Toddler said I have read it helps animals comprehend if they can see that they're gone

m0therofdragons · 04/08/2018 16:07

When we lost one cat her sister really became a much more affectionate cat. They don't need cat company so long as you're there for feeding and cuddles. Sorry about your cat - horrible when we lose them xx

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/08/2018 16:11

Yes, to let him see him. Didn't know about this, and when one of our cats died, although they never got on, he missed her, and kept looking for her. Had I known about this, he might have been better. It's horrid when they die

Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 16:32

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely let him see his brother's body, I wouldn't have thought of that. Good to know my other kitty should be ok.

The whole experience is just do much more painful than I thought it would be!

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WitchDancer · 04/08/2018 16:37

Sorry to hear you've lost one of your cats. I had two siblings and when I lost one I too let her see his body, just so she didn't go looking for him. She really settled down afterwards, with the help of Feliway, and enjoys being an only cat - in fact she went from being the one who you had to watch as she attacked you for no reason, to being really chilled out and friendly.

jaimebravo · 04/08/2018 16:49

I had the same situation with my two brother cats and I couldn't show the body of my cat to my other cat as he was knocked down by a car and not in good shape when we found him.
My remaining cat was lost without him and used to constantly at the window and door looking for him for quite a while and he very down in himself. We found him dead 2 months later, no obvious cause of death and only 5 years old so not old as such. My heart is still broken for them😔
Definitely if you can show your remaining cat the body

Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 16:52

Thanks for everyone's kind comments!

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percheron67 · 04/08/2018 17:00

Hello, so sorry to hear - my thoughts are with you. Not a pleasant thing to say but are you having a post mortem? It sounds unfeeling I know, but maybe the little one found something to eat that caused his/her demise. Do hope not.

AnnaMagnani · 04/08/2018 17:02

My old cat looked like she missed her sister for a couple of days. She then blossomed in to a very happy cat as she realised she had the whole house to herself and our undivided attention

Unfortunately for her, we then ruined her life by getting 2 kittens 2 weeks later as I couldn't bear the loss. Old cat was furious. Even worse in the next few months our neighbour adopted 2 strays.

So do what you think is best, and if you want to introduce another cat or cats it can be done.

A year later and all is calm. Old cat is boss of the kittens and gives them a friendly sniff. They are all able to sit on our bed together without WW3 breaking out.

The 2 strays have calmed down and also give her a wide berth. All territories are firmly established and peace reigns.

AnnaMagnani · 04/08/2018 17:03

Oops, editing fail - but hopefully you get my gist.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/08/2018 17:03

My cat was delighted when he sibling died really came out of her shell - was a completely different cat.

Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 17:21

Think I will wait a few weeks and see how dcat takes the loss. He is an outgoing animal, often hangs out with other cats in the village (about 5 of them sit on our fence together watching birds) and quite keen on interacting with our dog (sitting on her or sleeping with her - the dog is a tolerant animal!). Hopefully he will be satisfied with that as company.

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Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 17:22

percheron I wasn't planning on having a post mortem, I'm not even sure how I'd arrange one to be honest. I was going to bury him in the garden once the kids are home this evening.

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percheron67 · 04/08/2018 17:58

stompy. Hope my post wasn't too upsetting. Best you do what you feel most comfortable with. I shall say a little prayer for him tonight. x

Lynne1Cat · 04/08/2018 18:38

Sorry to hear about your cat. Your other cat will miss his brother, but eventually will be fine. He may not tolerate another cat anyway.

My little Stella was PTS in April (she was 18) and I let my Mr Cooper (14yr old unrelated cat) see her before I buried her in the garden. He mooched around the house, as though looking for her, for 2 weeks, then seemed OK. Since she's been gone, he "talks" more, and he's really content being the only cat.

Hope all goes well x

MrsBertBibby · 04/08/2018 18:51

I'm so sorry.

My girl lost her brother to lily poisoning, they were very bonded but she took it in her stride. I think she was quite pleased that he wasn't trying to hump her any more as he was a bugger for it.

I kind of wish I had got a new younger cat back then, as she is now very frail and old so a new cat is out of the question. Cat rescues are great at helping pick a new cat that should fit in, if you feel the need, but I don't think you have to for your cat.

percheron67 · 04/08/2018 19:09

MrsBert What is lily poisoning, please. Is it from the lily pollen?

Stompythedinosaur · 04/08/2018 19:22

Everyone has been so nice, it's making me quite teary.

My rl friends think I am mad to cry over a cat, but he was my baby!

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GreenMeerkat · 04/08/2018 19:23

Oh I'm so sorry.

It is devastating to loss a much loved pet. And one so young. He may have eaten something or could have been knocked over by a car and took himself under the tree to pass. As others have said, let his brother see the body so he doesn't wonder what happened and tries to look for him. I'm sure he will be fine though. Cats are pretty resilient. I wouldn't bring him in or change anything about his lifestyle.

MrsBertBibby · 04/08/2018 19:24

Yes perched on. Lily pollen is deadly to cats. It brushes onto their coat, they lick it off, and go into renal failure. Horrible to see.

percheron67 · 04/08/2018 19:26

Mrs Bert. I had no idea. Thanks for the info. Forewarned etc..

BackToTheFuschia7 · 04/08/2018 19:32

I’m sorry to hear your cat has died, what a shock. Your other cat should manage, with time, but reading your post has made me wonder whether you lost your cat to undetected heart disease. It can cause sudden death in otherwise fit and healthy cats. It is also genetic and so if your cat has died from this, his brother is at risk too. It can however be managed if it is diagnosed in time. So I’d really recommend a heart scan on your remaining cat, they aren’t expensive.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/08/2018 20:01

I'm so sorry you've lost him like that. We showed the deceased when ours passed and the other cats didn't seem bothered if I'm honest.

Awful shock for you and I'd be in tears too, I don't think non cat people understand just how much you love them.

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