Had to tell the DC last night that their beloved cat died while we were on holiday

[hudyerwheesht]

He was 13, both DC adored him and he seemed absolutely fine when we left for our holidays on the 12th, we then got a phone call from our neighbour who feeds both our cats when we're away to say he seemed to have died in his sleep. We were obviously upset but decided to wait till we got home to tell the DC so as not to spoil their holidays.
It was heartbreaking to hear them calling out for him when we arrived home yesterday then having to sit them down and break the news, they were devastated and spent the most of the evening in tears. Nine year old DS especially heartbroken as the cat was his best friend. He had such a bond with him and our other cat we nicknamed him the cat whisperer. That said, 6year old DD really struggling too.
We arranged for mil to bury him in the garden but haven't shown them the little grave, they don't seem able to cope yet. We are also trying to encourage them to give some attention to our remaining cat (not a lap cat at all by comparison) but not sure how else to help them - anyone have any words of advice?

[RandomMess]

Give them time, show them where he is buried, have a memorial service. It's good that they are being so open about their grief x

[cozietoesie]

Here's something that may be useful to read. I understand that the telephone service is very good although I've never had to use it.

[hudyerwheesht]

Thanks for the link, cozie, there's some good advice there and I may email them if need be.

[ColouringInQueen]

So sorry hud

I will be telling my dc the same awful news tomorrow morning - home tonight and just found out our lovely archie is no more. Any tips very welcome. Not quite sure what to do with us all tomorrow

[hudyerwheesht]

So sad to hear that, colouring.

Read the link above, there is some good advice. Also, pm me if you like - I tended to find there was not much understanding around (probably why I ended up posting on MN) so if you need to speak to someone who understands please feel free.

Hope it goes ok.

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks hud yesterday ended up being sad but ok. The dcs were very upset to start with but then switched over to playing. We dug out a lot of old photos of him which was good, and later in the day wrote a goodbye note to him and buried him in the garden with the notes. Sad but helpful iykwim.

How are you and your dcs doing today?

[hudyerwheesht]

That sounds like a nice, helpful thing to do to remember him, colouring. We have a folder on the PC now for photos and videos of Ben.

My dd is not too bad but my DS who was besotted with him(Ben lived on his lap) is still heartbroken. He keeps wanting to go and stand by the grave(even in the pouring rain!)and it's killing me. Distraction seems to be the best tactic though and it is getting easier as he gets used to it, I suppose.

I've wibbled a bit today. I caught the end of that programme 'the secret lives of cats' tonight just as it was describing a boy and his close bond with his cat and how it's helped him and that made me wibble a lot.
Been helped by a good thread on chat though from someone who lost their pet rabbit whose mum made her feel like she was over-reacting- it has lots of nice, kind words of support from Mumsnetters who have lost pets.

[ColouringInQueen]

((((hugs)))) for your DS, I can imagine its heartbreaking for him and you. Sounds like it will take some time for him. Are you thinking of getting another cat at some point in the future?

I might check out that thread on chat, though I'm not too bad today.

Hope today's better for you.

[hudyerwheesht]

Glad you're feeling a bit better. Definately read the other thread if you do start to feel a bit down, it will help.

I don't know if we will get another, DH is not keen. We still have one but he is quite old and has not been well recently.