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The doghouse

New pup first night... how to handle it

19 replies

learnerpuppyowner · 19/06/2020 01:09

We get our new pup next week.

I've read so much conflicting advice...

let it cry don't go to it (if you do you're making a rod for your own back)?

Set an alarm for every 3 hours to take it out to toilet?

Set up a bed next to crate and sleep next to it?

And many other things... what is the best way to do it?

OP posts:
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NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot · 19/06/2020 01:24

We did pretty much all that I reckon, although rather than the setting an Alarm bit we just didn't go to bed till about 1.30am most nights (!! This was in November, cant imagine that now), and one of us - mostly DP - slept on the sofa close to his crate for months! One of us would then be up at 6-6.30 for work and let pup out. This was probably for about 6-8wks? It was probably only a few months before he was properly toilet trained, he's now nearly 9 months and hasn't had an accident in I can't remember how long, however around 6 months or so (probably coinciding with lock down now I think about it) he started getting a bit big for his crate and started coming upstairs with us at night time - he now sleeps on there floor at the foot of our bed - so I can't speak for the making a rod for your back aspect! 😂

So my advice thinking about it would be make sure your crate is big enough! 😁

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NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot · 19/06/2020 01:30

Reading that back and relating it to your post I just wanted to confirm we did leave him about 5hrs at a time in his crate at night and he didn't Ever go to the loo in there! We also used puppy pads next to the backdoor which my mum gave us but in hindsight I wouldn't use them again - we then had a bit of a job training to train him Not to wee next to the backdoor when there wasn't a mat down - but would just take him outside very often instead!

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NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot · 19/06/2020 01:37

Another thing we did related to his crate was five him treats in there like his toys and these occasional chewy and left it open all the time so he could come and go and had nice associations with it... we also made sure we went out and left him in there at least once for a an hour or two, even if there wasn't really a need, as it meant he was used to being alone for periods.

That too is out the window thanks to lockdown as one of us is Always home at the mo but we've started to go back to it as it Is really important he's used to being left a bit!

Good luck with your new pup! 🐶

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MrsEricBana · 19/06/2020 01:40

I definitely wouldn't get into alarm setting. We had a decent sized crate. Cosy area at the back with cuddly toy, water, blankets and folded puppy pad in front third. We took him out for last wee in garden at 10pm+ then put him in his crate and spoke to him softly then went to bed upstairs. No howling. Bedding was wet a few times in the first month so I had a 2nd set of bedding. He never pooed in the crate and we've never had to take him out during the night. When he was about 9m old he had to be kept an eye on during the night as he was possibly unwell so he slept my my bed. He sleeps with us every night now. He's by my feet!
If my house was different I think I'd possibly have had playpen with open crate in it and puppy pad and water in the playpen area. This would have worked well in the night and if he had to be left in day.
Good luck.

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MrsEricBana · 19/06/2020 01:42

NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot I'm worried about restarting leaving pup too as he's not been alone at all since March :-(

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BiteyShark · 19/06/2020 04:47

The advice is conflicting and therefore you just need to find your own way.

Some people use pads at night. I didn't because I never wanted him to think peeing or pooing in his create or home was ok.

Some people sleep by the crate or have them in the bedroom. I slept in a different room with him in the kitchen but had a baby alarm so I could hear him wake. Now he is an adult he sleeps in our bedroom.

Some people just leave them to cry. I got up each time at night and took him for a quick toilet break. Then I used the alarm system.

As you can see everyone will do it differently Grin

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Cat0115 · 19/06/2020 05:03

Something we've done is to get a clock that ticks, wrap it up (we used a hit water bottle cover) and put it in their bed. Like a mother's heart beat apparently, supposed to help with anxiety of separation.

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Girlintheframe · 19/06/2020 05:32

We had ours in a crate next to our bed. For us it all meant we got some decent sleep. I used to reassure him by talking to him or stroking him through the crate.
It also meant we could hear him through the night so didn't need an alarm. First week he needed taken out twice overnight, second week once then he slept through. We just took him out every time he cried then straight back to bed.
After the 3rd week we started moving his crate away from us and eventually out of our room.
I really need my sleep so this was the easiest and comfiest way for us.
We also never used puppy pads. I was keen for him not to see peeing indoors as something every allowed.
Good luck

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Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy · 19/06/2020 05:50

I think it’s like babies, they all different.

  • dog child one slept in the kitchen for day one. I went to bed at midnight till 5am so he had a short night and gradually extended the time. He cried for a short while for three nights then was fine. I never went to him when he cried.


  • second dog child years later and I tried the same as above. She still cried on and off throughout the night for a month so we gave up and she came in our bedroom. Unfortunately by that point she could jump on our bed and therefore now sleeps in our bed!


What I would do in hindsight. Have them in our room but on their own bed or in a crate. Do a short night or get up if they need toilet in the middle of the night
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Stackers382 · 19/06/2020 07:00

We had pup in a pen at night with his bed and puppy pads at the other end. He cried for about 20 mins and then we didn’t hear a peep from him all night. He did 2 poos and 2 wees on the pads during that time. He was no trouble to house train during the day but continued to use the pads at night until he was around 6 months old when he just stopped using them.

This worked for us, we all got the sleep we needed and we didn’t mind clearing up the pads every morning but I’m sure he would have been clean at night much quicker if we’d have crate trained or set an alarm to let him out (he didn’t let us know when he needed to go)

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Hovverry · 19/06/2020 07:05

How can anyone leave a new baby pup alone at night and ignore his cries? Take him to bed with you or sleep beside him.
Puppies naturally become more independent and can sleep happily downstairs later. Not at eight weeks.

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DangerCake · 19/06/2020 07:20

Don’t leave them on their own. They are so tiny and haven’t ever slept on their own and so many new things for them.

Buy the happy puppy book and read it! It really helps. It’s on kindle. The chapter on dog proofing the house to set them up to succeed, them having enough sleep, so so important, they need to be made to nap for an out 20 hours a day at first.

We put a crate by the bed and got up when she let us know she needed a wee. So a couple of times a night, down for wee and no fussing of her. The crate helps with house training as she’s won’t want to soil her bed.

You could also decide she’s Sleepin* downstairs but sleep with her for a few nights.

A hot water bottle and a familiar smelling blanket helps, our breeder gave us a scrap of cloth from her litter. That was her favourite thing for a while.

Have lots of puppy grade stuff she can chew to distract her from biting you and chewing your stuff. Frozen carrots and broccoli stalks are great, and toilet roll inners.

If she’s being zoomy or very bitey (when) Then 20 seconds time out and a nap.

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DangerCake · 19/06/2020 07:23

Oh and we didn’t use puppy pads, as she just chewed them, but I think the6 don’t learn as quickly to go outside.

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NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot · 19/06/2020 09:37

Reading all this a pp is exactly right, they are like babies and obviously people's responses are similarly on the extremes - You've got the cc brigade and the immediate response brigade! Which are you with your children (if you've got any) op?! Grin
For comparison we were cosleepers with our kids And our puppy... 🙄😁 that king size Definitely paid for itself in sleep!

mrsEric we have started leaving pup a couple times a week for around 2 hours... we live by the beach and can't take him If we're going to be in the water or sitting down as he finds it too exciting and tries to pull my arm off!! Wasn't a big issue during main lockdown as obviously noone was sitting on the beach but now we can ours essential he learns to be on his own or we can't go 🤷‍♀️ first time our neighbour said he cried the whole time Sad but second time he just cried for 5 mins (we waited round the corner to check) and since then the same just a little whining at first then fine... sure yours will be the same! For reference We left him the run of the hall with his water and bed, and our bed of course! Grin

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ThunderRocket · 19/06/2020 09:48

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ThunderRocket · 19/06/2020 09:48

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vanillandhoney · 19/06/2020 11:39

We didn't use puppy pads and took him out in the night when he woke - puppy pads are basically designed to encourage them to pee indoors. Using them will just set back your toilet training. Yes, you will be tired but you'll reduce the toilet training (and pee/poop cleaning) massively in the long run!

Our puppy came home at 12 weeks and never had a single overnight accident. He sleeps in our bedroom and woke us up if he needed the toilet, we took him, praised/treated and brought him back to bed. He was sleeping through by 5 month and by 4 months was only needing to go out once a night anyway. If one of you goes to bed late and and the other gets up early anyway, you may be able to get away with no night wakings by about 16 weeks Grin

Otherwise a lot of it, you just have to see what works for you. Ours refused to sleep in a crate - he got so distressed he was sick, so we let him sleep on our bed and he was golden. If he leave him now, he has the run of the living room. However, some dogs are really destructive so that wouldn't work for them - you just have to play it by ear I think!

Do we get a photo? What breed?

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Windyatthebeach · 19/06/2020 11:45

My teen dc took turns sleeping in the dining room with dpuppy on a ddog bed.. Their request! Dc on sofa..
Then we got a crate. Week 2 dpuppy slept in there with alarm set for wee break during the night. Alarm put back later as suggested online until 1030 - 630 slept through. Dpuppy outgrew crate at 6 months. Sleeps on sofa now.

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dontdisturbmenow · 19/06/2020 13:51

I'd say go with the flow, you need to decide there and then. My OH was adamant we should let him cry and get a crate. I knew if he cried, I wouldn't be able to stay away. I spent all night waiting for it, he never cried!

He was happy to sleep alone from day one. Never got a crate. He's now 25 weeks and hadn't had a wee or poo at night for 6 days now, between 10pm and 6:30 am.

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