I miss our big lanky dog and feel so guilty.

[CheshireDing]

We had to have our big, gentle, kind dog put to sleep today. He was only 8 years old but a giant breed and had suddenly got so poorly.

DH is so upset, he was DH's first dog and we had him from a puppy.

The kitchen seems so big and empty now without his presence.

I feel so awful for not giving him more attention these last few years. I have been utterly shit to him. We have 3 children under 5 and I have not given him the time and his whinging (when they were also crying) used to make me lose my mind and I would shout at him :(

It is only recently as they have got older I feel I have tried to reconnect with him. Don't get me wrong I still walked him with the children and DH did too, He had daily walks (at least 2) but he was so gentle I did not give him the time he should have got as I was so bloody tired. He never barked, got cranky, just accepted and stayed part of our Family.

I tried to say sorry to him yesterday when he was sat with us clearly so unwell. Too little too late for me to be saying it then.

So sorry big guy. We were honoured to have had you in our house. So sorry for not putting up with your whinging better and for shouting at you sometimes. I hope you are now at peace and remember all the fun and lovely long walks and holidays we did have :( x

[Daisymclazy]

Cheshire, I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten. It's a bit twee but look up rainbow bridge. I think there is always guilt when a pet is put to sleep but it is the last kind act that you can do for them. Run free giant dog and may your portion this night be peace. 😿

[CheshireDing]

Thank you I will have a look at Rainbow Bridge.

[GladysKravitz]

Your post made me cry OP. Your love for your lanky dog shines out of it so I am sure he knew you loved him. I am so sorry for your loss.

I have a three month old future lanky dog and I already think every day about him dying and how I will cope. It seems to me that owning a dog leaves you open to so much pain, but also so much pleasure.

[Floralnomad]

Sorry for your loss OP and I'm sure your dog knew how loved he was .

[chough]

Sorry for your loss, Cheshire: he sounds like a lovely dog.
Gladys, if you don't know it already, you might like Kipling's poem, "The Power of the Dog".

[LimeJellyHead]

Awwww, try not to beat yourself up about it. You sound a loving and caring person... just that life and stresses got in the way. If it's any consolation, hardly anyone having to say goodbye to their furry friend thinks yes I spent as much time with them as I could and I have no regrets. We all think "why didn't I throw his ball more" or "why didn't I cuddle him more" or "why did I sometimes yell at him". That's cos you care and cos you are human. If he could speak he would say "You did your best at the time, Mum".

Run free at The Bridge, gentle giant

[JennyOnAPlate]

I know exactly how you feel op. We lost our cat at Easter after 10 years together. I felt so incredibly guilty that there was a period of about 3 years where he never got to sit on my lap because there was always a baby or a toddler on it! I wish I had made more time for him.

So sorry for your loss

[Niklepic]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly believe that if he hadn't been happy he wouldn't have been the calm, quiet, wonderful dog he obviously was.

You've done the best you could for him until the end and I'm sure he loved you and your family very much and was more than happy to be part of it.

[WaitrosePigeon]

Oh god I am so sorry

[Wolfiefan]

He was loved. He was well treated. Being cross now and again or frustrated does not make you a bad owner. It doesn't. As you say in your OP he was part of your family. That would have been worth the world to him.
FWIW I don't even have a dog yet and I want a giant breed too. I can't even imagine the hole they leave. More of a cavern really.

[Wordsaremything]

wolfie what a beautiful and wise post. OP, wolfie is right. Please don't be hard on yourself. He knew he was loved and there is no greater gift for a dog.

I do understand about the whinging. I have a very ancient old girlie who has recently been very ill. I also have another younger, loving but needy dog and his excited whining can be just too much sometimes, especially when I am anxious and stressed. I've raised my voice; I've also had to banish him upstairs at times to focus on my girl. I feel so bad about it but we are only human, and do what needs to be done to keep our families ( furred and/or hairless) on the track, even if it's less than perfect. No one is 100% perfect.

Don't feel that cavern sized void with guilt. Remember the happy times . Look after yourself xxx

[Wordsaremything]

Fill not feel. Sorry.

[CheshireDing]

Thank you all for your lovely words.

I will have a look at the poem too choug I think.

The children and I took his towels, bowls, food etc to the local dogs home today and I explained it was so other dogs who have no home yet can borrow his things. They were very happy that other dogs who had nothing were using his stuff :)

Sorry for your loss Jenny

I even thought I heard him whinging today [confused) Getting his own back probably ! :)

[Airfixkitwidow]

I read your post and had a little weep into my giant, gentle leonberger's head and told her how very much I love her. Giant breeds are very special dogs and as a pp has said they leave an extra big hole in your life. Please don't worry about the times you grumbled at him. He won't have minded because you were there and he was part of the family. That's all that will have mattered to him.

[Fueledwithfairydustandgin]

This made me cry because we have 2 dogs that I don't give as much attention to as I should because I'm always doing a million things. I'm sometimes grumpy with them but they are part of the family and to be honest I could say the same about anything else right now. Sometimes I'm grumpy with DS or DH. We are all just doing our best to look after lots of people and I'm sure they appreciate what we do do rather than our occasional fuck up