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Shall I allowed DS to be there when our beloved dog is PTS?

(17 Posts)
KarmaNoMore Sat 14-Feb-15 12:50:57

I have had the monkey for 16 years so, naturally, I'm in pieces.

Vet has given me the options, but I wonder if I should include DS on this. Dog is 16 years old, DS will be 12 this year.

How can I get DS to say good bye, or even introduce him to the idea, without him feeling I took the dog to the vet and the dog never came back?
Vet said the dog will loose full control of his legs in the next few days and offered to PTS today or wait until that happened (pain is under control). So I may have a couple of days to prepare DS.

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 14-Feb-15 12:54:43

Assuming your DS has no SN if he wants to be there let him be there. Yes he is going to be upset, but often being there helps the understanding process.

KittiKat Sat 14-Feb-15 12:59:06

I have just been through this but my children are slightly older.

I sat the children down, told them the cat was unwell and that the Vet had said he could try to keep her alive but really the kindest thing to do was to love her for a few days more, say our goodbyes and then let the Vet put her to sleep in the kindest way possible without the poor little cat having to be in anymore pain in the future.

I explained to them that because the cat probably was suffering and although not maybe in pain due to the injections it had just received, it would not have the kind of life it was always used to having.

My two, after 3 days of being at home, and saying their goodbyes, came with me when we had the cat PTS. It WAS upsetting but they did realise that it was the right thing to do.

I am so sorry you are going through this. You will also be surprised at how quickly children get over this too though. Yes your DS will be upset but he will quickly recover.

shutupaboutstarwars Sat 14-Feb-15 13:17:28

As a vet I would be happy to have a 12 year old there when an animal is euthanased and I have had younger than that in the room. My own DCs are a little younger and we always made sure that they knew in advance before our own animals were euthanased. I wouldn't hide death from them (animal or person) , learning about life and death is an important part of growing up. It is very personal choice about whether to be present at a euthanasia, some adults cannot cope with the idea of being in the room or even in the building when their beloved pet is euthanased. I would recommend that you discuss it with your DS and see what he would like to do. But remember that even if he decides that he wants to be there he can change his mind at any point and leave the room. Some people don't want to be there at the time of euthanasia but would like to see their pet afterwards.

sisterno2 Sat 14-Feb-15 20:02:06

We went through the exact same thing with our dog 2 christmas's ago. Our middle daughter aged 10 at the time came with myself and my husband 2 put our beloved girl to sleep. I know our daughter wanted to be with her till the end and she's so glad she did. It was so sad but so peaceful aswell. We all stayed with her in the room for abit so we could say goodbye. I won't lie it was a truly heart breaking time for us all but I know it was the right thing to allow our daughter to come with us .

StrumpersPlunkett Sat 14-Feb-15 20:08:32

DS's were here when vet pts our beloved cat.
They knew why it was happening and what would happen. Cat would go to sleep then be given injection to stop her heart.
They were both glad to be here with her. She was old and riddled with cancer and her bowel was blocked so there were no options.
They were 7&9 at the time.
Give him the choice. But make it totally clear what will happen.

clearingaspaceforthecat Sat 14-Feb-15 20:55:27

Yes, agree with others. Let him be there if he wishes to be. I have had several pets PTS and there is always time given for a final cuddle afterwards which although upsetting is also an experience I wouldn't have wanted to miss. If your little boy loves the dog, I would let him come in if he wants to.
So sorry for you all though having to go through this. flowers

KarmaNoMore Sun 15-Feb-15 15:49:26

Thank you very much for your comments, they are very much appreciated. I will let DS decide whether he wants to be there or not when the time comes.

It has been such a blessing being able to bring him home for a couple of days, he is not in pain, and eating well, but his legs are failing more often. I really don't want to hold much hope but he seems ok and active most of the time, then turns around and the legs are gone for a few seconds, and then he is back in his feet as if nothing has happened. :-(

The vet said 2 days, I'm not so sure but in the mean time he is having nap with me on the sofa and I just hope we can make the best of the next few days.

EasyToEatTiger Sun 15-Feb-15 16:36:58

We lost one of our dogs very fast just over a year ago. The vet came to the house as I really didn't think I could drive home with my beloved dog, dead in the back. The vet was brilliant, and both dcs were there, although they needn't have been. If he slides downhill quickly, please don't wait. I am sorry. It is horrible loosing a dog.

Georgethesecond Sun 15-Feb-15 16:41:43

When our much loved golden retriever was PTS I went with my mum but didn't actually watch as the vet did it (she did). I think I saw him afterwards but I can't remember. I was 21!

I would say let him go with you but not actually watch the process.

Georgethesecond Sun 15-Feb-15 16:42:31

I think he stayed at the vets afterwards, we didn't take him home to bury.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Sun 15-Feb-15 18:44:54

Sorry you're going through this Karma. Hugs to you all. flowers

KarmaNoMore Sun 15-Feb-15 20:56:08

I have talked to DS about it, he is really sad of loosing him and he doesn't want to be there, he doesn't even want to go the vet sad

He has asked me if we could hope for him to last a few weeks, a month, I really din't know anymore, today dog looked perky and happy, ate his food, has been walking around but tonight he seem unwell again :-(

KarmaNoMore Sun 15-Feb-15 20:57:41

Thanks for the hugs and flowers, I really needed them.

BurningBridges Sun 15-Feb-15 23:02:13

Karma I am so sorry; we've nearly lost our little dog this weekend but he's only 5 so we are hopeful he will recover. What a wonderful 16 years you must have had with your boy and your DS will have had him all his life.

Although we hope for the best for our dog now, we would allow DD 2 age 11 to be there if she wanted, but we know DD1 age 13 would not want it at all.

I hope you have some peaceful days left with your old friend.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Sun 15-Feb-15 23:20:15

How are you all doing?

KarmaNoMore Mon 16-Feb-15 14:46:46

Thanks again.the poor dog had a terrible night last night. He couldn't stand on his feet, vomited all his dinner and was needing the toilet every 10 minutes. It was really sad. He couldn't lift himself from his bed by 4 am.

I left him for a little way this morning and came back prepared to take him to the vet to PTS, and what do I find? A slightly wobbly dog running up and down the stairs. I don't think he is getting better, but progressively worse. I really don't know when is the right time anymore. :-(

I have started another thread trying to decide what is the right thing to do.

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