Have you ever had to rehome a dog? Please tell me your experience

[SnakeyMcBadass]

How did you cope? How did the dog cope? Do you regret it? I don't want to into it all now, but my reactive spaniel is currently in foster care with an experienced spaniel chap after biting another dog. I am so upset and have some difficult decisions to make. Whatever I do seems to be shit.

[Scuttlebutter]

From a rescue point of view, I can say immediately that a good rescue will do everything possible to support you and to help you do the right thing by your dog. People in rescue know that life does not always follow a script, and that things can happen which make the most secure life turn upside down. As I write this, there are two dogs inches away from my feet that were initially surrendered for emergency foster care (and again a good rescue will help if you simply need temporary assistance). After a time, it became impossible for the owner to have them back and they are now much loved members of our family. Seeing the process close up taught me a lot - in particular surrendering owners will often have to think long and hard about what is best for the dog and sometimes surrender is the answer.

On a practical level, there are things that you can do to make the process work smoothly, especially after a biting incident. Give the rescue a full history. If you surrender, please also give your dog's paperwork such as vaccination certificates, chip details, any vet records, training etc. - this can save unnecessary duplication and expense for the rescue. It's also worth preparing a short "crib sheet" about your dog's daily routine - things like exercise, grooming, favourite toy, any allergies, level of training (be honest!) - this sort of info is invaluable if the dog is going to a foster home, and will help speed up their journey to a new home. Also include info on diet - how often, what sort of food etc. Again, this is tremendously helpful if your dog is going to foster care.

Please don't expect the rescue to swoop in and remove the dog within 24 hours of contact (a lot of people do). Most rescues are run by volunteers and usually for surrenders a web of transporters, foster homes and/or kennel spaces need to be found - this can take a little while. If you are willing to be flexible and accommodating about travelling to meet transporters/foster homes etc this is also very helpful.

Wishing you all the best.

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Thanks Scuttle. My boy is doing well in foster care and is living with 5 other spaniels. He isn't showing reactive traits as yet, and is being walked/run three times a day. I think my anxiety is causing most of his problems :(. He's been part of my family for 2.5 years and I love him dearly. Beginning to wonder if we're just not the right fit. I know why he bit the other dog, I understand the triggers, but I didn't have time to react. I have lost all confidence in myself as a handler. So painful to think of him going, but is it fair yo keep him on lead and/or muzzled? I think he'd be miserable.

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Thanks Satans. It's a horrible position to be in tbh. I love him, so much, but am I less anxious with him gone? Yes. Is DH happier? Yes. Yet there's a spaniel shaped hole on the sofa. I wish I'd known more about his background. This is all my fault.

[SnakeyMcBadass]

You're being ever so kind, but I was hopelessly naive and that's not his fault. He's a darling with people, highly strung but soppy. He is just living on his nerves, and his fidgety angst affects the whole household. It would help if DH liked him, but he can't take to him. He's kind, and will lead walk him etc, but he finds him irritating. Whatever happens next, it will be what is genuinely best for my boy.

[LadyTurmoil]

Oh Snakey so sorry to hear about your situation. But, having read a lot of your comments in threads over the past year or so, no-one, but no-one could say you haven't tried your hardest with him and gone to amazing lengths to help him with his anxieties.

I don't think you were hopelessly naive, I think we all have the image of a dog, well fed, loved, warm and comfortable - it should be so easy but it's not always so. We, as people, are all subject to various stresses and strains in our lives, some cope and some find it so much harder. Your dog is just one of those animals, for whatever reason, who is highly strung and might need a different environment. It doesn't mean you haven't done everything you can, it just means something/somewhere else may suit him better.

As well as thinking and caring for him, you must also consider what's best for you, your husband and your family as a whole. Good luck but don't beat yourself up about it.

[TheCunnyFunt]

Ahh Snakey I'm so sorry that you're going through this with him, I read a lot of your previous threads about him. how is the poodley thing doing now he's a lone dog? I can't really add to anything that Scuttle said, she covered every base I think!

However, I am currently arguing with myself on whether I should return my dog or not, I did a thread about it.

[fanoftheinvisibleman]

Nothing useful to add Snakey but just wanted to say that we have all been hearing your story and I know how much you want the best for him. I feel for you in the pit of my stomach. All the best whatever happens next.

[SnakeyMcBadass]

I saw your thread, Cunny, and for obvious reasons felt unable to comment :( The Poodley Thing is coping ok. He's a little lost without his mate, so we're doing more training etc. He doesn't like sleeping alone, so is scratching at the kitchen door at around 6am for company. The DC are being very mature and trying to consider all angles, but ultimately they love their dog and want him home. As do I. If I never had to walk him. Thing is, I know that my boy is stressed and on edge here. If there's a chance he'll be calmer and mote secure in a different home then I have to take it. But letting go feels impossible. Bollocks to being a grown up

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Thanks fan.

Tbh I was expecting a bit of a kicking. Maybe I feel I deserve one. The owner of the bitten dog has been amazing, btw. She knows all about my boy's issues and was apologising to me because she could see I was upset. Lovely, kind woman. But her dog was frightened, sustained a puncture wound, and mine was out of my control. Split second cock up and that's all it took. Gutted.

[Scuttlebutter]

Some dogs just don't do well in a family environment - it's not the fault of the individual owners (or indeed the dog). And I know MN probably isn't the place to say this, but in fact the majority of households don't have young children, and it's not desperately difficult to find childfree homes for sensitive dogs. One of ours is not good around DC - he finds them noisy, unpredictable and stressful (actually is Cunny's dog's brother) - but as we are a childless couple with relatively few visiting DC, we're a perfect fit for him.

You certainly don't deserve a kicking. I sometimes get terribly frustrated inwardly at people who take on dogs with multiple needs without thinking through how they'll manage it, but you are most definitely not in that category, and it's obvious that you have tried long and hard to make this work.

Again, I'd say think about what's best for the dog in the long term - sometimes it's a hard decision to let them go but if they can find the right home then it can be the best course.

[tabulahrasa]

I know it's not what you're asking, but having a muzzled dog always on lead isn't as bad as you'd think.

On lead doesn't have to mean walking to heel on a short lead, I have a harness and a 50 ft longline and an 8 metre flexi and I walk him on a double ended lead so even if I haven't put those on him he can still have twice the length.

The muzzle, yes you can't play fetch on a walk where other dogs might be, but he can still sniff things, take treats...mine can also if he's ultra determined pick things up if they're either small or squishy, so far we've had him bring home a glove and a dummy ( I let him because he's so busy making sure he doesn't lose his booty that he almost ignores dogs, lol)

It also makes you less nervous because you know you have him if anyone comes and that he can't bite even if he wants to - and it's a really clear message to other walkers as well.

I know it's not just walking him that you're talking about being an issue, but, it maybe gives you something to think about while you decide.

[sjdmpc123]

Hi snakey ..don't feel bad about this . Sometimes rescue dogs are not as they seem and can turn out different after having time to adapt to a new environment outwith rescue kennels which can be daunting , frightening and above all stressful . I have 3 rescue dogs 2 of which were a complete mess when we got them , one physically and the other mentally due to lack of socialisation with people or dogs .In kennels the latter appeared cute , quiet if a little subdued .she felt sick and vomited for days when we brought her home and then she showed her true colours ....chasing other dogs in the park and nipping their tails , charging at people and barking at them . On 2 occasions she nipped trouser legs but luckily didn't get the chance after that as we muzzled her and kept her on a lead when in public . We had a dog trainer see her and were given some techniques to try but on the whole, although better ,she is still problematic with other dogs and we always have her on a lead when in public . The easiest thing we find is to take her on walks across fields as she can run free and is happiest that way . We are rural but appreciate not everyone can do that .She just doesn't like other dogs ( not even our other 2 dogs who she was ok with when she met them in kennels ,but she tolerates them ),is suspicious of people but very loving with her own folks . She would have been better placed as an only dog . Trouble is the rescue centres often know very little history about the dogs in their care .And dogs often mask their true personality due to stress in these situations .You are not to blame at all and you are doing the right thing for the dog .

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Thanks everyone. I'm really touched by your posts. Going to call the foster carer in a while to see how this last week has gone. We've been texting, but he's asked me to call. Bit worried now. I'm too emotional to see the woods for the trees, so the fosterers assessment is going to be very important I think.