Remembering moby 1 year on

[kid]

well I've survived a whole year without my precious puppy. I really didn't think I'd get through the day without lots of tears. I've not spoke to anyone about it being a year since his untimely death as I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears.

I panicked when I remembered the date this morning as I thought I'd be clock watching all day and replaying that dreadful day. As it happened, I was too busy and hardly noticed the time. It was only around 4pm that I remembered again which was the time we broke the news to DC and broke their little hearts. They seem 100% fine now. They still talk about him sometimes but only have happy memories and never mention the day he died. It's still stuck in my head and really upsets me but now we've passed the 1st anniversary, I am hoping to start forgetting the pain.

I have spent this evening playing with teddy and enjoying having him. Not long till he turns 1 now, I do love him more and more each day. He is definitely my little baby now. When I went out earlier and left him at home with dh, he watched me drive off through the kitchen window. He looked so sad that I dared go out without him!

Time to dry the tears now (making my head hurt!) and give teds a cuddle

[bumpybecky]

well done Kid :)

I can't believe it's been a year though, I remember so clearly your posts after that terrible day :( I'm glad you've got Teddy to cuddle xx

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

I remember your posts, and, as a vet(though obviously not yours), they make me feel so bad

there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better, and I feel bad about that too. I hope you can move on now, although I understand that Moby will always have a special place in your heart. I'm glad you have Teddy now- I'm sure he will bring you lots of happiness over the years xxx

[kid]

Thank you for your lovely comments. It's been a tough year without moby, even though I have teddy it doesn't stop me missing moby. I do sometimes cry but never, ever in front of people as I put on a brave face.

I believe the vet accidentally killed moby. I am convinced to this day that he did something wrong. I can never accept that a healthy 7 month old can just die like that during a routine operation. I'd never heard of it happening before and never heard of it since. I have no feelings at all towards that vet as nothing will bring him back but I would never have any dealings with that vet or that practice again. They destroyed my very precious puppy and I don't know if I'll ever get over losing him completely. I do expect it to get easier but it has scarred me for life.
I know there are worse things that can happen in life, but to date, that was one of my most horrendous experiences.

[Vallhala]

And remembering with you Kid lovey, with tears and sadness for you... AND with thankfulness in my heart that despite all you have suffered you still found room in yours for Teddy.

Run free, Moby, in the fields and sunshine of eternity and stay there in your Mum's heart, whilst helping her to find comfort and strength as time passes.

Val x

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Kid, I have no idea what happened, but as a vet it has happened to me twice in 16 years- and those 2 times were about 1 month apart, in the same breed of dog (don't know if they may have been related)

It was awful. I went through everything we had done, it was no different from our usual routine, and both dogs were post-mortemed, with no conclusive results. It was almost as if the dogs had a huge reaction to the GA, and there was really nothing we could have done, despite resuss etc. It absolutely killed me, and I still have nightmares about it, despite having neutered so many dogs before and since. I'm sure this won't give you any consolation, but it happened really quickly, and is the very worst thing that can happen to a vet (although I appreciate it is worse for the owner) Believe me, it will have been a horrendous and traumatic experience for your vet too. As a vet, there really is not much that destroys you so completely.

I'm not trying to say it was worse for your vet than for you, but unless your vet was made of stone, it will be up there with the worst days of his/her life too.

[kid]

I'm really sorry to hear you have experienced that jooly
maybe the vet that operated on moby did feel terrible but he told me 2 versions of the event so I felt he wasn't being honest about something.
For a long time I believed moby must of had a heart defect but I just don't know. I did expect the vet to be a bit kinder/sympathetic towards me when I got teddy but nope, it was straight down to the money side of it without any reassurance that they wouldn't kill my new puppy too. I know that's harsh, probably sounds a lot harsher than I intend it to!

Teddy is very different to moby which has it's pros and cons. It's good because it makes me accept that he is not a replacement for moby but it's bad because I want moby. In an ideal world, I'd have both if them!

I can't believe how attached I got to moby. He was only with us for 5 1/2 months.