Anyone watching 'Rape in the City' atm????? C4

[littleducks]

It is horrific to watch but quite realistic and true to the attitudes i have seen

[GivePeasAChance]

OMG

This is pretty bad. I really don't think boys had that attitude 'in my day'

I am sure porn has something to do with this somewhere.

[littleducks]

NOBODY??????????

seriously with all the threads on here about rape i cant believe that no mners are interested in seeing groups of young men (really young in some cases 12/14) justifying the gang rape of girls, with stuff like 'it was oral sex that aint rape' etc
presenter speaks here scroll down for boys comments

[varicoseveined]

I missed the programme but just read the article from that link. What a disturbing display of misogyny.

As parents we must teach our children about the moral aspects and responsibilities of sex, not just about avoiding pregnancy/STDs.

[BitOfFun]

Oh crap- can't believe I just killed the thread with that little nugget...< gets coat >

[varicoseveined]

BitOfFun - I'm sorry you went through that

You didn't kill the thread, it doesn't seem that it was watched by many MNers tonight...

[BitOfFun]

I guess- thanks for putting me out of my misery though I'm hoping they let me withdraw it though, feels a bit pointless to bring it up tbh!!

[littleducks]

sorry i went to bed

it is on 4od etc, but tbh i think it would just be upsetting BoF

im really disapointed more people didnt watch this though, with the response the wife swap thread got i thought more mners would be interested in this

[bambipie]

Bit of fun

I watched the second half and thought it was really shocking - that the boys didn't even think / know it was wrong.

I do wonder what influence the oversexualisation of women in the media has. I don't mean in an 'asking for it' way. But when boys are seeing images of boob enhanced pouting 'up for it' airheads all the time it must have some effect. Was this mentioned earlier in the prog?

I know when I have travelled in other parts of the world western women are seen as being 'easy' because that is what people see in music vids, film etc. I remember feeling ashamed seeing scantily clad ladette types and feeling that I was like them rather than the self-respecting women who lived in the country.

[Poshpaws]

I watched it. I was angry and close to tears a lot of the time.

Angry because of the attitude of these young boys, many from the BME community. Being form this commuity myself and fully knowing that many boys are not like this, I felt that ther perpetrators had 'let the side down' in terms of perception, etc.
Sad for the victims, Black and White, and also the fact that I have 3 mixed-race sons who, although they do not live in the pockets of urban areas described in the programme, are male and could be influenced by hormones, peer pressure or whatever . Hoping the reasons for these boys' actions go deeper than peer influence, but yes, the programme saddened and angered me in equal measure.

[Jazzicatz]

I watched it and again felt physically ill when the boys were describing their beliefs on young girls sexual behaviour. I do feel it is a mass generalisation and a 'cultural smugness' to put the onus onto young black men. I am sure there are 'white' examples, but they were not interviewed. I think though it is indicative of a wider objectification of women, which is plaguing our society, feminism is never needed quite so much as it is now!

[HaventSleptForAYear]

Oh god. I didn't see the programme but couldn't read this thread and the article without comment.

So sorry bitoffun.

As a mother of 2 DS I just wonder how we can best guide our boys into a healthy sexual attitude and respect for girls/others.

[UndertheBoredwalk]

I missed it, just put it on on catchup and had to turn it off after listening to those boys talk.
It's utterly horrific that boys are growing up with attitudes like this. Why? What's going wrong?
Makes me want to wrap DD up and never let her out

[Nancy66]

I watched it. Very distrubing.

Much of it is tied up in the gang/rap culture where women are bitches and hos.

[HaventAClue]

I watched it and was completely horrified and terrified at the views of the boys interviewed. I despair at the sort of world my dd will be growing up in - where porn and violence against women is so widespread and mainstream, and relationships are rejected in favour of "line-ups" for 15 year olds

[spicemonster]

I couldn't bring myself to watch it. I know it's out there but I find it so profoundly depressing that it makes me want to grab my DS and run away

[TwoIfBySea]

I watched this, couldn't believe what those boys said and the journo was rightly horrified. The way those boys were talking it seemed obvious that they had probably done this as with a crowd of boys there would the girl have a choice?

Awful, truly awful.

How do these boys get such a horrible outlook on girls? Their upbringing, poverty, the old chestnut of "nothing to do" are all pathetic excuses as plenty of people go through that and don't resort to gang rape.

[Nancy66]

I am not saying that porn is not a contributory factor but I think it is too easy to lay the blame solely at the door of pornography.

[KERALA1]

I watched it and wished I hadn't. Couldn't stop thinking about it all day. Those poor poor girls how the hell do you get over being gang raped at 15? Short of death or mutiliation I can't think of a much worse thing to happen.

Like most things FWIW I would think there are probably numerous causes - family breakdown, gangs, urban blight. But like dittany I think much of the blame rests with the porn industry and how it has infiltrated mainstream attitudes. OK consenting adults watch it but surely teenage boys who aren't being properly parented who are exposed to this stuff regularly are going to think thats how things are in the real world. Just too sad.

[Blu]

I saw the second half of the programme, and found it highly disturbing.

I know one of the barristers who was the defence for one of the boys convicted in the hackney case, and am not surprised that they are planning to move out of London before their dd grows up. It must give you a very scary vision of what goes on out there.

It isn't just about oversexualisation and porn, it is having been brought up in a context of very little decent human behaviour. One of the boys convicted in the Hackney case was also pesent when a man in east London was murdered outside his house for asking some youths to keep the noise down. There is a complete lack of positive male role model, (I'm not talking about the many brilliant single Mums in this world), few adults in their lives who give them any semblance of treating any human with respect. And they do idolise what they see in rap. Everything becomes a commodity - including other people and sex.

My organisation works with young people who start with this kind of outlook. They have parents who have never shown empathy or taught them empathy, and they have little to feel proud of - they are obsessed with things to make peple 'respect' them - sex, or status symbols. They are in huge schools where they have little sense that any adult can identify them personally or know anything about the, or hold them accountable.

It's all too depressing to think about, eally.

EXCEPT that my organisation ALSO works with hundreds of teenagers who are just fabulous: kind, caring, perceptive, ambitious and creative
AND
many of the ones who have started on a bad route can be diverted if given opportunity, intensive attention, and alternatives.

[Nancy66]

boys of 12 shouldn't be reading magazines like Nuts and FHM as they are aimed at the over 18s but I daresay they are just as they are viewing porn.

I'm glad that the programme didn't bow to political correctness and did make the point that it is, largely, a problem in the black community.

Black males are, I believe, put under massive pressure to be macho and street and tough. Being clever and studying is Raping a girl is often part of initiation into gang culture.

If the gang issue is tackled then, by default, the knife crime and sex crime issue will also be dealt with.

It's horrible but I feel sorry for the lads involved they all seem dead eyed and old beyond their years.