Please help me see a way through this. My 2 DS (not so D at the moment) age 16 and 19, completely hate me. I am crying and crying.
OK I understand adolescent angst etc, but this is the background:
exH (very much not D)and I split 8 yrs ago. DSs aged 8 and 11. This was after years and years of domestic abuse, violence, verbal cruelty, failure to provide, and everything else. I always made sure these things happened in private so as not to distress the children.
Finally found my courage to start again alone.
At the time I was doing a mature age Ph D at a famous university and on a scholarship,which gave me a bit of money to attempt to escape with DC in safety.
Which I did. Got tiny 2 bed house, got foreign students in the other room as lodgers. Children and I bunked up together. I had 2 jobs plus studying. Father never paid one penny support. I paid private school fees. Got them into famous public schools on scholarships. Paid everything. Worked as a cleaner at night as well as teacher by day. Provided every single thing.
Then joyfully I met someone who actually loves me, treats me like a true and loving husband (surprise! this is nice!!) and live in a loving and lovely marriage for many years now.
But Father is now back on the scene. The DS are spending more and more time with him. He lives on benefits and provides nothing. He has enchanted them with his tales of my badness, evil ways in leaving, selfishness, cruelty and etc. Now they tell me all these things themsleves. Plus "you F~~~ C~~~", even spit at me today. I am crying. I have tried so hard. DS1 just told me "in the future, you will never see my children, unless you change your ways. You are toxic".
DS1 has even just got into Oxford and starts in October. And I am paying for him go to Italy for holiday course and also Japan. As well as his university. But apparently I am still a total C* and he tips his food on the floor now so I have to clean it up like a skivvy because no-one else will. Which BTW he obviously doesn't do when DSF is home because DH will go bananas. But I don't want to tell him, later, because I don't want DH to think my beloved sons are so so bad.
Please tell me what to do. I love them so much. I have tried so hard. And I am just crying and crying.
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Teenagers
Utter despair (sorry long post)
20 replies
grownupbabes · 12/07/2009 21:50
OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom ·
12/07/2009 22:24
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sarah293 ·
18/07/2009 16:51
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