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Staying up all night and going out in the middle of the night

(3 Posts)
dinasaw Wed 20-Aug-08 13:27:04

My eldest SS is a few months away from 18. He's on summer holidays from college and works a few hours a week. Since breaking up for the summer he has been going to bed on average at 4am. He sits in his room surfing the net, playing games, music etc. We have just about got an agreement whereby he turns all the sounds off when we go to bed, but the noise still disturbs me.
Last night he went to the loo at about 4am, switching all the lights on and banging the doors which woke me up. All the lights went off and I thought he had gone to bed. I then heard someone leave the house. I got up to look and thought it must have been the cats on the stairs and banging into the door.
I couldn't sleep so went and watched the olympics. Eldest SS came in at 5.30am. I asked where he had been and he said he had been out for a cigarette. I queried the hour and a half cigarette. He said he had met a friend.
Sorry this has turned into rather a long post. I don't know what to do. Our relationship is not particularly great. His Dad, my OH, doesn't think there is anything wrong with it and we should let him do as he wants.
I'm stressed because I can't sleep because of the noise or wondering where he is. The last few nights have seen some car crime in the area, not that I think he is involved, but he is still making himself a target wandering about at that time of night.
What can I do? Any advice gratefully received.

TheProvincialLady Wed 20-Aug-08 13:44:44

If he is living in your house you have the right to make a few house rules. My mum did with my brother ten years ago (it turned out to be drugs in his casesad).

You can't tell him what time to go to bed but you can insist that he is quiet after 11pm and does not wake you up in the middle of the night. You can also lock the house up for the night at your bedtime and insist that it is not unlocked again until you get up - for security reasons - unless he is coming home late one night and lets you know that he will lock it properly when he comes in.

I don't think you should let him do what he wants because if that involves disturbing you, it is not on. On the other hand, there is no point worrying yourself over what he is up to, unless you have real cause to believe that he is up to no good. Your DH needs to raise this with him.

mumeeee Wed 20-Aug-08 17:08:03

He should kep to your house rules. DD2 would stay on the internight all night if she could. But the rule in our house that the internet is turned off by midnight.

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