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He was drunk again.

(17 Posts)
jojo38 Thu 13-Jan-05 22:27:04

Hi.
I've been away a while. Wish every one a happy new year.

I am not sure if I mentioned this last year... seems a long time ago! My DS - 14 (just) went out one evening, ended up in hospital - paraletic! On a drip etc.. I had to phone around hospitals to find him... eventually I did. He doesn't seem the "type" to just go off and buy a bottle and get pissed... but he did... I never got to the bottom of it... I don't suppose I ever will. Thankfully he is safe.

The other night he came home in a state. Tried to tell me he was tired, staggered upstairs and redecorated the bathroom and his bed. He had gone and bought a bottle of cider. Yeah, that cheap sick provoking gas. YUK!! I cleaned him up, or ordered him in the shower (felt like putting it on cold for him) got him into bed - gave him a talking to, listened, tucked him up then I phoned the police. I had to tell them that a local shop was selling alcohol to teenagers under 18! I wouldn't mind, but he doesn't even look 18. He is tall, granted, and big for his age, but he doesn't look 18! WHY do shops allow the parting of alcohol without any sort of ID???

DS wanted to buy me some choc liqueurs for christmas.. just the cheapy ones from somewhere like Lidl, and they wouldn't let him because he was under 18. OK, so why don't ALL shops do this.

There are so many young people hitting the streets with bottles of goodness knows what. At least there should be some sort of ID system put in place, even for us who are over 18! I certainly wouldn't mind having to produce ID if it meant helping kids stay away from alcohol til they are well old enough to remember what it is like to chuck up everywhere and make fools of themselves.

I am at a loss with DS. I know it isn't his decision alone and I don't know what to do about it. He is grounded for at least a month but what does one do about the 'other' kids involved? Do I tell their parents, not knowing what reaction I will get from them? How much do we have to watch our kids, mistrust them?

It is so heart-breaking. I know there is more to the reasons why he did drink. Girls. Well, at least that is what came out when we had a chat. I can't help feeling there is more to it, but how far do I go?

Glad to be back. Hope all are well. Happy landings for 2005.

mishmash Thu 13-Jan-05 22:44:26

Hugs - my kids are old enough just yet but I do worry all the time. There is so much peer pressure.

Good for you to ring the police - it is the same here but what they do is get someone older to buy it and then meet them somewhere else - maybe this could explain things.

About the other parents - I don't know - I know some take serious offence. If you can at least get through to your own son it may stop another episode like you have already had.

Sorry can't be of any real help!

fostermum Fri 14-Jan-05 07:24:17

i know where your coming from,my own kids as well as various foster children have been up to the same thing,i think all you can do is keep reminding them that its not big or clever,yes i would inform other kids parents,at the end of the day they need to know,unfortunatly i found if kids couldnt buy it they would ask complete strangers to bye to for them,which in its self is a terrifing thought,but it was just a stage they went through,

fostermum Fri 14-Jan-05 07:26:08

although with one child, writting to say sorry to the A&E department and ambulance station that picked them up, for wasting there time and money put them off doing it again

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 08:18:52

any more probs jojo?

happymerryberries Sat 22-Jan-05 08:43:59

At the risk of sounding like a horrible old cowbag, I don't think that I would have cleared any of the mess up. I would have made sure he couldn't choke on his own vomit and left him in it. And then in the morning I would have given him a bucket, cleaning things and clean sheets and told him to get on with it. If he thinks he is old enough to drink he is old enough to cope with the consequences of his actions.

Hugs to you and hope that things improve soon.

And if it helps my brother did this at about the same age. Now a fine upstanding piller of the local community etc

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 08:50:08

me too, left DD3 in her own vomit when she came home drunk at 14,in the morning she had it in her hair all over her bed and she cleared it up and has never drunk again,happy mum of a 4 month old now in her own place with patner,done the same to the others 2 as well

jordylass Sat 22-Jan-05 08:53:23

My DS has pretty much stopped drinking (19) as he knows he just can't handle it, always fights and ends up in touble with the police. (You wouldn't believe it of him sober).
My DD was shocking though from about 13 every weekend litres of cider, she was never sick or ill enough to go into hospital but awful to deal with. I just used to take her to bed, she didn't hear anything I said to her anyway when she'd had a drink. She'd always say she wasn't going to do it again, and she meant it (I think), but then she'd be with friends and it was the thing to do, she's not much older now (18) but completly through the other side of it, she goes out once or twice a month with friends and has a few, but nothing stupid like she used to.
Having been through it once, I'm not sure what else I could do if my younger children got into this, ground them as I used to with her, didn't seem to make much difference she just didn't drink those nights.

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 08:58:06

its a phase like much else,i used to get such pleasure out of there hangovers, nice greasy breaky,hoovering round the bed at 8am,i made there hangover hell

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 08:59:02

now i go through it all with foster kids,im between placements at the moment and soooooo bored

happymerryberries Sat 22-Jan-05 09:45:01

Fostermum at the fry ups and hoovering. You are a woman after my own heart!

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 10:26:36

ya figure my parents did it to me so it has to be my duty to pass it on

Tortington Sat 22-Jan-05 16:15:07

my son did it in the eurostyle tent on holiday on a bottle of wine he decorated the segment of the tent classified as a bedroom andall over the matress and the floor. i made him clean it all up - go to the rep - tell the rep why he had puked all over the matress and to get a new one - the rep was absolutley fabulous about it all.

fostermum Sat 22-Jan-05 17:43:13

it's not so cool when they have someone else know they puked is it

cloudy Sat 22-Jan-05 17:57:26

My niece is very fastidious... the only time she came come drunk (age 15?) & puked everywhere my SIL (who I really wouldn't credit normally as the world's best mum) left her to sleep in the vomit... my niece has never been drunk again!!

jojo38 Sun 06-Feb-05 00:33:09

HI all.
Sorry, been away a bit. Thanks for all your replys.
I know I am not the only one, even my mum went through it with my brother... but still. The mess he made was firstly in the family bathroom! I had to clear it. I did make him do it initially tho... he was so p*ssed that he had no idea what he was doing. The bed, unfortunately, was saturated. Yes, I could have left it but matresses are so expensive to replace these days. I do know where you are coming from, I really do. This "little boy" is my son. I resented him for doing what he did and he has been grounded since. Only today was the first day he has been allowed out and only to a place I know that he is actually at.
Oh, I don't know. Perhaps I over reacted? This lad means the world to me. He went through all the poop of a crappy divorce with me. He was old enough to know what was happening. In many ways, he supported me. I just hate to see him act this way. I have had a chat with him since and he says that he is fed up with the old cliche - life... he says its because he hasn't a girlfriend... I am sure there is more to it but he insists it isn't. I know he has had a couple of knock backs. It may have hurt him more than he could have coped with?
I had a chat with the school year head. She is great. She "knows" the kids well as they stay with the year they are given through to the end of school. She says that he seems to be a happy chap, sociable, "Normal" etc. The only thing she could say was that he is so tall and gangly (he isn't thin) that he is unsure of where the ends of his arms are! Otherwise he is doing well at school, lots of mates, happy, no bad reports from teachers etc. Anyway, she says that she will keep an eye on him and chat with other teachers who teach him.

I know it's a phase and it will pass, but why alcohol! I do allow him to have a small glass of wine with a meal - on the odd occasion. I won't off him a beer on anything like that. I don't encourage it yet I am not strictly against it either.

Just a confused mum time I think. Oh, why didn' they dish out handbooks before they are born eh?

Thank you all again. I am sorry to have left it so long before replying to you. I hope you will forgive me.

fostermum Sun 06-Feb-05 08:34:18

jojo if they gave out hand books only the really stupid people would still havee kids,and i hold my hands up im more stupid then most!

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