Punishment help needed.

[cpjoli]

Ds is 17. Has Aspergers. Has been smoking for a while. I smoke and he often steals them despite me hiding them.
Last night he had a cigarette out of his bedroom window. Outside, was the cardboard gousto box. He dropped the cigarette end, it fell into the box and set fire to it. Luckily it went out but has burnt the wooden frame of the patio door, burnt the hosepipe and left a mess on the patio.
I didn't know til I got up this morning.
He has an interview this afternoon so I've not said much as he sulks and gets upset and defensive which I don't want for his interview. I have made him clean up the mess and Ash.
My dh, his stepdad, says I should remove his phone for 2 weeks. I've said I should remove the xbox, but DH said that's not enough punishment.
What would you do?

[LeaveMyDamnJam]

Well it wasn’t a deliberate act of destruction, so punishment is a bit strong. At 17 he needs to understand more about cause and effect. His actions have consequences.

I think he needs to be involved in repairing and cleaning up the damage. Removing devices isn’t going to address the underlying problem of his lack of thought.

Tbh my biggest concern is a teenager smoking.

[LynetteScavo]

I'd expect him to pay for the damage caused. He's a bit old for you to be taking away electronics. I'd also be telling him very firmly no smoking out of the window again.

[user1495884673]

Cigarettes shouldn't smoulder, nowadays they are made so that they go out pretty quickly if you aren't drawing on them. If he is buying cheap knock-offs that aren't up to safety standards, which I imagine he might be given that he also steals them from you, there is a far higher risk of starting a fire, but I guess that is a lesson he may have already learned.

[peak2021]

I'd say the xBox.

I'd also say now is the time for you to give up smoking.