Does anybody else’s ADHD (or NT) child have these symptoms?

[MarieFromStTropez]

DS aged 14 was diagnosed with ADHD with some Asperger’s traits two years ago. He has been taking Ritalin since and he is a different child. Life was hell with him before, but mainly bearable now. I do worry about him though and hope that he is not on Ritalin forever. He has some symptoms and I don’t know if these are part of his condition or normal or just him. For instance:

Paranoia
He gets quite paranoid when his medication is wearing off. If someone accidentally brushes past him he thinks they have done it on purpose. This is causing terrible problems at school, as he has accused people of stamping on his feet, for instance, when it turns out it was just accidental. It took a long time (and a random CCTV check) for us to realise this.

Speaking in a foreign accent
We always know when his medication has worn off as he speaks in a foreign accent and takes on the mannerisms and habits of this other nationality. He even has a name he calls himself. I must stress, it is not in a mocking racist way. If you met him you would genuinely believe he is of this nationality. He doesn’t seem to be able to control it.

Immaturity
Our eldest DS was babysitting other people’s children at 13 years old. However, our DS with ADHD is 14 years old and would need a babysitter himself. He is incredibly immature, in spite of having the same upbringing as our eldest DS. I still have to take him to school and pick him up, for instance.

No friends
He has absolutely no friends. He is a nice boy, average at school and sport. The feedback from school is that he is annoying to other children. I can see that. They went away on school camp (120 boys) and everyone absolutely refused to share a tent with him. They made one boy share with him, but the boy left the tent after lights out and DS was left alone. There has been some bullying and he has got into a few fights, but the school have dealt with the boys concerned.

However, adults really seem to like him. Our cleaner said he is the nicest, most polite boy she has ever met in her 40 years of cleaning. The school secretary says similar things about him. His teachers mainly really like him, although there are specific lessons where he misbehaves and causes a distraction.

I guess I just want to know if these symptoms are common amongst children with ADHD/Asperger’s. Or even if they are normal for teenage boys. I really worry for him.

Thanks.

[PickAChew]

Rebound symptoms are common with ritalin and other stimulant meds. It might be worth discussing adding in a non-stimulant medication like atomoxetine or guanfacine.

[Pushmepullyou]

Immaturity is very common with adhd - pretty much one of the defining features. Our Dr says that children with ADHD have maturity of about 2/3 their chronological age. My DS is nearly 9, but more like 6 in some ways. They do generally catch up eventually. I did.

[MarieFromStTropez]

Thanks for your replies. It is helpful to know that immaturity is a recognised symptom. Also, I will look into those meds. Thanks.

[FordPrefect42]

I’m awaiting assessment for ADHD and have Aspergers.

A lot of what you’ve said about your DS rings true to my experiences in school.

[FordPrefect42]

IDK if Ritalin will work for me at this stage as I’m in my early twenties now.

[MarieFromStTropez]

Wishing you all the best with your assessment FordPrefect42.

[FordPrefect42]

Thank you @MarieFromStTropez, greatly appreciated 🙂

[TwoZeroTwoZero]

My ds is 8 and was only dx in July with add (not the hyperactivity) and some of the things you describe do ring true. He is very kind, polite, thoughtful and gets on well with quiet children, girls, younger children and adults. He struggles with boys of his own age and only has 2 or 3 friends at school. He gets picked on by other children and they do laugh at him; they know what buttons to press to annoy him and unfortunately he does struggle to manage his emotions and is prone to angry outbursts. He can be quite annoying and is more immature than his younger sibling, 7, who we don't have any concerns about. He takes Medikinet and since starting that, although it's helped his attention and attainment at school massively, he's certainly become more anxious, more aware of other people looking at him, less tolerant of noise and more easily overwhelmed in loud, busy and bright places.

[midwintermorning]

Ds has Aspergers traits - he is immature and unfortunately Aug baby which has meant he seems even more so. And friendships have been difficult for him - he's in sixth form now and things have improved, he has friends now, (not without drama) - all girls, although I notice now that boys in his year will now say hello in a friendly way when out and about which is encouraging. Adults think he is lovely and polite - always have done. He is gay - I'm not sure how much this has affected him/friendships. I get the feeling homophobia just isn't cool or acceptable amongst the kids in his year but it may have been a factor when they were younger, who knows?

[MarieFromStTropez]

@midwintermorning Glad to hear that things have improved for your DS. That also gives us hope. Another thing I've noticed about DS is that there are no signs that he is reaching puberty. He is 15 in a couple of months. No interest in girls (or boys), no bodily hair, nothing.

[midwintermorning]

@MarieFromStTropez without a doubt things have improved with age - I look back to a time where everyday was a struggle - the education system seems designed with one particular kind of kid in mind and it wasn't ds. As he gets older his qualities are appreciated more - even Parent Teacher consultations are now an absolute pleasure - I used to leave them in despair about my ds's future - there were so many elements of him that did not "fit".
I hate that I had to battle with it, his first three years at school were hell - we moved him after that to a school with a Head whose ethos was focusing on socialising skills and she actually did something positive about it rather than being told to invite more kids - who didn't want to spend time with him around for a play date!

[Pebstk]

My son who is just turned 13 is being assessed for ADHD. He is child number 3 of six at present in the family. Some of the things you describe are similar others very different. He is very very immature in a lot of ways in the house particularly - still plays with lightsabers with younger brothers, toilet humour, loves winding up, very hyper, etc. He is very prone to angry outbursts and really struggles to control this which is difficult at school. However, he is funny and witty and kind and seems to have a lot of friends who seems pretty tolerant of him. He would for example abide by teen social norms like not telling tales on others etc if you know what I mean and is good at sport and quite laddish (though physically small). His sister is 16 months older and I would estimate at least about 3 years more mature. His younger sister (by 20 months) will also be rapidly overtaking in terms of maturity. Anger and concentration at school are the main issues - we can mainly cope with him - 90 per cent of time- and he has many endearing qualities but managing at a very academic school is a struggle.