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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

16 year old poor time keeping

15 replies

supermommyof4 · 08/10/2019 08:37

Anyone else have to constantly be on their teenagers back?
I feel like im always nagging him.
Ds2 has an eating disorder, ARFID, we just started him on multi vitamins.
This morning it took 30 mins to do his hair, another 20 mins to get his shoes and socks on. I constantly have to be on at him otherwise he would be late to college every day. We bought him an alarm clock, he gets up turns it off and gets back into bed.
Eldest 2 always got themselves up from around 12/13, got there breakfast and managed their time. Its like he cant be bothered, has no interest in anything!!
Any ideas how i can encourage him to take control of his time better.

OP posts:

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BillHadersNewWife · 08/10/2019 08:41

Is he tired? Highly possible with an eating disorder?

MoobaaMoobaa · 08/10/2019 08:47

Is he depressed? the can't be bothered attitude could be a sign.

Did you ever not nag him through school, so he faced the consequences of being late, to learn from?

supermommyof4 · 08/10/2019 08:50

Probably, but if he doesnt go to college and maintain his attendance he will be thrown out. I have to force him every night to turn off his xbox. He says he wants a job but currently dont see how he will keep a job knowing that he wont get up.

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namechangedforthis1980 · 08/10/2019 08:51

I'd also wonder about the ED causing tiredness? Do you know how his iron levels are? That coupled with 16 year old boy itis ( I'm struggling with that at the moment!! ) could definitely have an impact

MoobaaMoobaa · 08/10/2019 08:53

If he has an eating disorder, and struggles to have enthusiasm about anything. I think you should be getting medical advice and therapy for him.

supermommyof4 · 08/10/2019 08:54

@MoobaaMoobaa he was home schooled, has attended college since he was 14. And yes i did nag him then too. As he has gotten older i think he has just learnt to zone out. He has had some bloods done to check his vitamins iron levels etc.
He has always had this super laid back not bothered attitude, wasnt sitting till almost a year old, didnt walk or talk till pretty late on either.

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LeGrandBleu · 08/10/2019 08:56

Maybe take the xbox away for a bit? Are you sure he doesn't get up at night to play or watch gamers on youtube?

supermommyof4 · 08/10/2019 09:00

@MoobaaMoobaa would be great if i could get my gp to refer him but they dont seem bothered. I have asked to see therapists and/or dieticians etc but theyve just told me to give him supplements. He also suffers with chronic constipation, since birth and im pretty sure this triggered his eating disorder and has aggravated his constipation.

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supermommyof4 · 08/10/2019 09:03

@LeGrandBleu im pretty sure he doesnt. His bedroom is right next to ours..so we would hear him, even if he tried to be quiet, he has a deep voice and it carries so i think we would know, i could be wrong though.
He does still get his xbox removed if he is rude disrespectful etc..

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LeGrandBleu · 08/10/2019 09:16

Excessive screens and gaming have devastating effect on physical and mental health, so maybe a break from screens and xbox should be considered. Lots of articles on that topic. Start here www.marketwatch.com/story/the-scary-lasting-effects-of-too-much-screen-time-on-children-2019-04-10 .
Bad diet, lack of energy, apathy, at 16 is not normal and even if he doesn't get up to watch more screens, this is not a life for a teenager . Some people are really chilled, but this is excessive. It is too bad your GP isn't taking this seriously.

Rainbowx2 · 13/10/2019 08:11

Sounds very similar to my son but he has dyspraxia. Could he have something like this? It doesn't always get diagnosed.
Mine loses track of time, completely disorganised, tired,. I have to tell him shoes, socks, get dressed, eat breakfast or he would never get out of the door in the mornings
. One of the signs is reaching milestones late as a baby. Walking, sitting, talking. Mine also had chronic constipation and struggles with food, very limited diet!
Maybe Google dyspraxia in adults and see if he suffers from the symptoms?
Apologies if he doesn't, he just sounded very similar to my son.

supermommyof4 · 13/10/2019 12:27

@Rainbowx2 i had never thought about it.
My youngest dd2 has dyspraxia, dyslexia and a general learning disablity.

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Rainbowx2 · 13/10/2019 13:47

Might be worth considering, time keeping and general lack of motivation can come across as lazy but if its dyspraxia he isn't really being lazy,.might need to put some strategies in place to help him

supermommyof4 · 13/10/2019 19:11

@Rainbowx2 yes i just had a look at the adult markers and him as a toddler and its him to a tee.
He still can not do his laces even at 16.

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Rainbowx2 · 14/10/2019 07:30

Well at least you know what it is. Sounds exactly my son. Maybe if he knew he had it he would realise he couldn't help it and feel a bi more determined, he probably feels a bit useless at the moment.
I got my son a book called caged in chaos, written by young people with it and it seemed to help him that he wasnt the only one. It can really affect them socially in their teens too. Maybe visit gp and see what they suggest. Mine goes to an occupational therapists, they taught him to tie laces, he uses a laptop because he gets tired writing too

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